Signs It’s Time to Move On and End the Relationship

Do you ever wonder if you’re in an unhappy or wrong relationship? Use these 16 signs to find out if it’s time to move on and end your relationship.

When you enter into a romantic relationship with someone, you don’t expect it to fail.
You walk into the relationship with your hopes high, and look forward to a promising future with the one you’ve fallen in love with.
But not all relationships work out perfectly, even if the two people involved seem perfect for each other, do they?
What would you do if you find yourself in a relationship that’s just so wrong for you?
Would you walk away or would you endure the pain in the hope that things would get better soon?
You may be able to answer this question easily right now, if you weren’t caught up in the thick of a messy relationship.
And if you’re in a relationship that’s been harming you slowly, one day at a time, would you even be able to recognize the signs of a bad relationship?
As easy as it is to give advice to others, following the same is never easy, because reading the signs is always a hard thing to do when your mind is clouded with hope and love.
Is it time to move on and end the relationship?
When you see a friend who’s experiencing a bad relationship, it’s easy to point fingers or call them stupid for enduring such an obvious mess.
But when you experience the same scenario, you’d probably realize that something’s not right, but would you be able to pass a judgment on whether it’s fixable or something you need to walk away from?
As confusing or complicated as a problem in a relationship may seem, it starts and ends with a simple idea, and that’s happiness. And if you use happiness as a yardstick to decode your relationship, you’d find that it could help you understand yourself and the relationships you’re in, a lot better

You’re not happy
It’s this simple really. If you aren’t happy in your relationship, you’re not in a happy relationship.
Now there are two things you can do here, you can try to fix the problems before it’s too late.
Or you can move on, especially if you’ve tried to fix the relationship several times, and it still doesn’t bring you any closer to happiness.
16 signs it’s time to move on and end the relationship
So are you happy or unhappy in love? Here are 16 clear signs that can help you understand if you’re in a relationship that isn’t worth holding on to. Can you relate to at least a few of these signs in your own relationship?
All of us have our own thresholds when it comes to sacrifices and enduring pain in the hope of a better relationship. But if you feel like you’re fighting a losing battle while trying to bring happiness into your romance, ask yourself if you see these signs in your own love life.

#1 The spark is missing. 
 You don’t know why you’re in the relationship anymore. The romance is missing, there’s no chemistry or companionship, and both of you just exist in each other’s lives without any special reason. Sometimes, you secretly wonder why both of you are even together in the first place?

#2 You’re hurting. 
You’re misunderstood, hurt or angry all the time. Sometimes, you don’t even know why, but just thinking of your partner hurts you or annoys you. And sadly, even if you haven’t given this a thought, you haven’t been happy for a very long time.

#3 You’re being taken for granted.  
Your partner uses you, manipulates your understanding nature and takes you for granted, no matter how nice you are to them. You’ve been doing all the giving, in the hope that your partner will see how selfless and loving you are, and change for the better some day.

#4 You don’t see a future. 
You’re satisfied with your relationship, and you’re happy-ish. But every time you’re alone or try to see where your relationship is going, your mind tells you that your relationship has no future. And as hard as you try to visualize a perfect tomorrow, you can’t see your partner as a long-term lover.

#5 Uninvolved. 
Your partner doesn’t care enough to play an active part in your life, nor do they even try to understand your life. They’re emotionally uninvolved and unavailable, even when you try to make them feel involved.

#6 Sexual intimacy. 
 You can’t remember the last time both of you made love. You’ve tried your best to bring the sizzle back into the bedroom, but your partner prefers to turn the other way and feign sleep. And it feels worse when you catch your partner admiring others when both of you are walking down a street.

#7 What holds both of you together? 
Are you in the relationship or marriage only because of the baggage that holds the both of you together? If the reason for the existence of the romantic relationship isn’t love, then you’re only fooling yourself if you believe it’ll ever bring you any happiness.

#8 Deep trust issues.
  You don’t trust your partner anymore. There may be a genuine reason for the lack of trust, or perhaps, both of you just have different expectations from each other when it comes to trust and believing in each other. But unless both of you even the creases on the issue of trust, the love will only fade, and never grow.

#9 Different lives. 
There are no meaningful conversations between the two of you. You have nothing to talk about beyond small talk because your values, vision, and expectations from life are completely different from your partner’s views and both of you haven’t taken the initiative to find common grounds.

#10 Back to square one. 
It happens all the time. There’s a lot of love. And then comes a big fight. And then both of you communicate with each other and end the argument with a lot of love and affection.
And in no time, the same issues crop up all over again, and the same cycle starts all over again. Can both of you ever evolve as a couple if the same issues stagnate your lives and stops both of you from bonding together as a couple?

#11 Controlling behavior. 
People with insecure personalities don’t always confront their partner. Instead, they use manipulation, aggression and subtle controlling behavior to manipulate you into believing they’re right and you’re wrong. And before you know it, you’d feel lost and all alone because you would lose all your friends and turn into your partner’s slave.

#12 Individual lives. 
You think you love your partner, and you think you’re happy in your relationship. But yet, both of you just live together and have nothing in common, and lead individual lives.

#13 People pleasers. 
Your partner constantly goes overboard to please another person just to impress them and win their fancy. But they’d never ever do anything like that for you.

#14 Fault finding.
Your partner makes you feel inadequate in the relationship all the time. They treat you like you’re not good enough, and always find faults with everything you do. They break you emotionally, and constantly expect you to change for them because you’re not good enough!

#15 You don’t enjoy their company. 
You dread spending time together with your partner. You feel comfortable hanging out with your lover as long as it’s with a group of friends. But every time you have to spend some *quality* time together, it makes you feel uncomfortable.


#16 Respect. Do you respect your partner as an individual? Does your partner respect you? For a relationship to be successful, respect for one another plays a very big part. If there’s no respect for each other, then there’s surely no hope for the future.

Bad habits that Hurts into relationship

Are you subconsciously doing things that could hurt your relationship? See these 16 bad habits to know if you’re hurting your lover without realizing it.

 

All of us have a few bad habits that we don’t realize.
Sometimes, these habits could be silly or cute.
But at most other times, these subconscious bad habits could end up hurting you or distancing you from the one you love.
When you fall in love with someone, you can’t see their bad habits, at least not until you’re past the stage of infatuation.
And likewise, your partner won’t see the bad in you because they’re so smitten by you and your love for them.
But once the rose tinted veil of infatuation sweeps past your eyes, it’s only then that the nagging habits start to reveal themselves.

Bad habits that turn into relationship breakers
You can’t change who you are, can you?
And if you have a few bad habits that could play the part of a deal breaker in your romance, you may realize it only when it’s too late.
After all, it’s easier to deny that you have faults than to accept that you may be flawed, or that your behavior has a significant role to play in the drift between you and your lover.
Now not all bad habits could affect your relationship for the worse. But there are a few which your partner could overlook for a while, until those habits sow the seed that could split the ground in your perfect relationship and give way to other critical differences.

16 silly bad habits that can hurt your relationship
Are you indulging in any of these 16 bad habits in your own relationship? These habits may seem trivial to many, but it’s these very habits that could go from a minor annoyance to a big reason for a break up soon enough if you don’t keep an eye on them.


#1 Taken for granted. 
You know your partner’s sweet and caring. And you love them for it. But do you remember to appreciate your partner and thank them for all the little things they do, be it finding your keys or opening the doors for you?
You may think it’s silly to constantly thank your partner for every little thing they do. But chances are, you may start taking these sweet gestures for granted even before you realize it, and they’d turn into expectations instead!

#2 Lover pleaser. 
You try really hard to please your partner, but you get really upset when your partner doesn’t realize you’ve done something for them. And yet, you continue to do nice things for them all the time *which they take for granted* and eventually turn into a relationship martyr.
If your partner takes you for granted, talk to them about it. Bottling your rage or sadness will not help you. Perhaps, your partner didn’t even realize that you’ve done something sweet for them. Communicate and express yourself now and then, and stop trying to be a helpless people pleaser.

#3 Testing your partner.
  You intentionally make big demands or throw tantrums just to see if your partner cares enough to go the extra mile for you. These petty tests are rather common at the start of a new relationship when you’d want your lover to prove their love for you, but don’t carry this habit into the later stages of love or your constant games and tests would annoy your lover.

#4 Blame games. 
Don’t put the fault entirely on your partner if you believe you have a small role to play too. It’s easy to point a finger and accuse your partner for the mess that both of you are in. But by doing that, your partner would feel cornered and helpless, and even angry and hurt.
On the other hand, by sharing the blame or acknowledging your role in the mistake, you’d be giving your partner the emotional support they so badly need at that moment.
#5 Silent treatment. Do you choose to ignore your partner instead of talking about something that’s hurt you? You’re not alone. Many men and women would rather sit down in the corner and stare at the ceiling than answer their partner when they’re annoyed for some reason. Never do that because you’d only end up hurting your partner, make them feel miserable, and hate you at the same time.

#6 Unbalanced expectations.
Do you have high expectations from your partner, and expect them to have lower expectations from you *because you’re too busy providing for the family or busy doing something else?*
The roles between a husband and a wife or a boyfriend and a girlfriend could be different, but that gives no right for one partner to demand more from the other partner, and give less in return.

#7 Monosyllables.  
Don’t answer in monosyllables in the middle of a conversation. Period. Answering with a ‘yes’, ‘no’ or an ‘hmmm’ is just a rude thing to do, even if you’re pretending to be concentrating on something else.
When your partner tries to communicate with you, try to answer back in open ended questions. It’ll help both of you interact better and understand each other better. You need to remember that conversations with monosyllables usually end up dead in a minute or two, and over a period of time, your monosyllabic answers would just push both of you apart.

#8 Don’t be a brat. 
Do you constantly like having things your way? It could be as silly as watching a genre of movies you enjoy or dining out at places that you like. Your partner may find your tantrums cute to begin with, but if you always want things your own way, there will come a time very soon when your partner would snap and just hate everything you like because they’re so sick of it!

#9 Making a scene in public.  
Don’t yell at your partner or humiliate them in public or when someone else is around. Your frustrations may be valid and you may have every good reason to accuse your partner of something, or walk away from them. But ridiculing your partner or hurting them in public will do a lot of damage to their ego, and that’s something that won’t heal very soon.

#10 You lie. 
For the silliest of reasons! And you just can’t help yourself. You may be lying to your partner because you’re afraid of their temper, or because you don’t want to appear weak in front of them. The reasons could be several, but the end result is almost always the same. Lies affect relationships negatively, and will lead to loss of trust. Stop lying and learn to confront the truth, you’ll have a much better life.

#11 “I don’t want to talk about it!”
Avoiding discussions, especially if it’s stressful may seem like the easy thing to do at a particular moment. But stuffing all the difficult conversations in some dark corner will only leave you more stressed, and leave your partner frustrated and angry. As difficult as a particular decision or a relationship conversation may be, you can solve it only by talking about it with your lover. Remember, every journey of a thousand miles starts with a single step.

#12 You get irritated easily.
Do you find yourself getting irritated with your partner now and then, and have no idea why you feel that way? In all probability, there’s a subtle reason behind why you’re annoyed with your partner. So instead of snapping at them or behaving in an irritable manner, sit down and ask yourself why you’re feeling annoyed. Or better yet, tell your partner that you feel annoyed, but can’t figure out why you’re feeling that way. Believe me, you’ll feel a lot better almost the very second you say that to your lover!

#13 Every moment is together time.
Do you spend every waking moment *other than work* with each other? You could scoff at other couples who do things individually and believe you’re the better couple because both of you do everything together. But in reality, doing every single thing together can do more harm than good because it stops both of you from having your own individual lives.

#14 You don’t compliment enough.  
When was the last time you complimented your partner when they dressed up for you? As the years go by, it’s easy to overlook the little things that your lover does that makes them awesome and take it for granted. Compliment your partner often and let them see that you still admire them, and are awed and smitten by them.

#15 Time for friends. 
Do you subconsciously nag your partner or get annoyed with them when they leave you alone and go out with their own friends? This is pretty common, and there’s a good chance you feel it if your partner has more friends than you do or if you’re a loner. But remember, hanging out with friends now and then isn’t all bad. It gives both of you the kind of space you both need to grow as individuals.

#16 You don’t discuss the future. 
Firstly, do both of you have common goals for the future? Most couples don’t talk about the future at all, and when it comes to making a decision, you may feel like you got the short end of the stick.
Don’t avoid discussing about the future just because both of you have contrasting opinions. It’ll only push both of you further away. Communicate with each other and try reasoning the differences out. As hard as it may seem, it’s always better than avoiding confrontations in love.

How to Talk to Your Crush and Make Them Fall for You!

Use these 13 sneaky ways to initiate a conversation and talk to your crush. Before you know it, your crush would have a bigger crush on you instead!

 

Talking to your crush and professing your love to them is actually the easy part.
Building the foundation perfectly to ensure that your crush is actually just as crazy about you as you are about them, well, that’s the tricky part.
Read the first part to know about the 15 tips to make your crush notice you and like you back before you use these tips on how to talk to your crush.
Using the tips to get your crush to notice you the right way will definitely work wonders in your effort to get them to like you.

How to talk to your crush
The thought of striking a conversation with your crush could make you feel like you have butterflies in your stomach.
But if you take things slow, and focus on the three stages mentioned in the introduction, the attention stage, the chemistry stage and finally the conversation stage, you’d realize that even before you start talking to your crush, your crush would already have a crush on you!
STAGE 3 – 8 ways to initiate a conversation
If you followed the first two stages to the tee, your crush probably likes you already, and they’d assume they’re the one who has a crush on you, and not the other way around. Now all you need to do is initiate a conversation subtly, without making it too obvious that you’re looking for excuses to chat them up.
Use these 8 ways to initiate a conversation with your crush. You can use just one of these tips, or use many of them. As long as you don’t make it obvious that you’re faking a meet-cute, it’s all perfect for you!
But just a word of caution to play it safe, don’t stretch the first time you talk to your crush into a long conversation immediately unless there’s a good opportunity to do so. It should be brief and quick, and should be just long enough to make both of you feel like acquaintances.

#1 Ask for help.  
The easiest way to chat up a crush is by asking them for help. If you notice your crush standing nearby, pretend like you’re looking for something, a book or a particular person. Look around dramatically and impatiently, and pretend like you’re almost panicking because you’re already late for something.
And all of a sudden, lock eyes with your crush, and ask them a question, “hey… did you notice a book lying around here?” or “I’m sorry, but did you see a girl walk past here just now?”
Once your crush answers your question, continue to look around for a few more seconds, and exchange a fleeting glance, nod or smile and walk away like you’re flustered and busy. Don’t start a conversation here, or it’ll appear like you were just faking it to chat them up. There’s always a next time to talk to your crush for longer.

#2 Drop something.
 If you’re walking in front of your crush or walking past them, *accidentally* drop something of little value like a pen or a piece of paper. As long as your crush sees it fall, they’d definitely use the excuse to strike a conversation with you. And even if your crush doesn’t notice it falling, you have nothing to lose.

#3 Use social media. 
Comment on something your crush comments on, as long as both of you have a common friend. You don’t need to answer your crush directly, just be seen by them. Your crush will surely check your facebook page and try to get to know more about you.
You need to remember that the secret behind getting a crush to like you is to make them believe they’re the ones who are more curious about you!

#4 Smile while walking past your crush. 
When you’re walking past your crush and their friends aren’t around, just smile fleetingly or say hi to your crush. Don’t stop and chat though, just say hello and walk past them.
As long as you’ve built the chemistry up in the earlier stages, your crush would be waiting to talk to you the very next time both of you bump into each other.

#5 Get friendly with your crush’s friends.
Do both of you share any common friends? Try to get to know them better. Don’t tell this friend about your crush. Instead, just try to strike up a conversation with the friend now and then. It’s a great way to get to know your crush without approaching them directly.

#6 Use your friends. 
If you’re hanging out with your friends and your crush walks past you or sits down somewhere near you, use your friends to send the message across. When they tease you or constantly stare at your crush, it would embarrass your crush while making them fall for you harder.

#7 Bumping into each other. 
 If you bump into your crush, accidentally or otherwise, don’t be shy. Instead of walking away or looking the other way, smile, wave or say hello. Both of you have been exchanging glances for far too long to miss out on an opportunity like this! But keep the conversation short the first time.

#8 Send a facebook request. If both of you have been exchanging flirty glances on the streets and commenting on the same posts on facebook, that’s enough of an excuse to get friendly online. After all, chatting on facebook does take a huge load of pressure off face to face conversations.
After the first conversation – Don’t overdo it
When both of you start waving hellos and talking to each other, your crush may give you a lot of attention, but don’t get clingy or fall all over your crush. Play it cool and make it seem like mutual interest rather than a one sided crush. Avoid giving too much attention all at once, and your crush will pursue you just as much as you pursue them.
Avoid falling into the friend zone. This usually happens when you go out of your way to help your crush. Be nice and friendly, but tease your crush and leave them hanging instead of trying to please them all the time.
Don’t be jealous. Don’t get jealous or rude when you find your crush talking to someone else. Remember, both of you aren’t dating yet, and you have no right to tell this person who they can or can’t talk to. If you show off your displeasure to your crush, they’d only get more annoyed with your behavior. Just pretend like it doesn’t bother you.

5 tips to build the romance with alone time
The easiest way to make your crush get attracted to you is by spending time with each other when no one’s around. If you notice your crush and you’re with your friends, excuse yourself and walk up to your crush and start a conversation. The more alone time both of you get, the faster the attraction would build and the stronger the infatuation.
#1 Eye contact. Make eye contact while talking to your crush. Look into their eyes while saying something, and hold your gaze. It’ll seem awkward at first, but it’ll send the message that you like this person.
#2 Smile and laugh. Don’t be boring when you’re spending alone time with your crush. Smile, laugh and tease your crush.
#3 Compliments. Compliments work wonders in a conversation. It’ll bring both of you closer, and it would make your crush start flirting with you even if they don’t realize it themselves. 
#4 Talk about common interests. Try to find common ground in conversations. Find out more about things they like, be it movies, shows or anything else. When both of you find something in common, it’ll give both of you a chance to bond over common interests.
#5 Text and call each other. Exchange phone numbers and text each other. And if you want to get flirty and naughty, text each other later in the evenings or at night.

Asking your crush out
You can follow all the steps here, but if you make a mistake at this point, everything you’ve built up to this point could come crashing down like a house of cards.
Don’t make the mistake of telling your crush you like them or want to date them too soon into the flirting. Rushing this part can ruin everything if your crush isn’t ready to date you yet.

Instead, invite your crush out to spend time with you. Ask your crush if they’d like to join you for lunch or coffee sometime. Tell them about a new place you’ve been waiting to check out, and that you would love to take them there.
It may take a few dates for both of you to feel the romantic connection. But when that does happen, you’ll just know that your crush is ready to answer in the affirmative when you finally ask them if they like you too!

Kissing on the First Date – Is that a Yes or a No?

Kissing on the first date isn’t wrong. But it isn’t always right either. Puckering your lips up for a smooch depends more on these circumstances.

Let’s face it.
Most guys want to kiss the girl on the first date.
And most girls, well, they’re confused about this big question, to kiss or not to kiss on a first date.
A kiss is an intimate expression of affection.
It seals an invisible bond, and signifies that both of you are now intimately involved with each other.
And it also takes the budding relationship forward into the next stage *whether you’re ready for it or not*.
After all, you can’t take the kiss back, can you?

Guys and that first kiss
Every time a guy dates a girl, he wants to know whether he’s made a really good impression on the girl.
He’d want to believe that the girl has had a wonderful time with him, and is head over heels in love with him already!
If he has to allow himself to fall in love with her, he wants to see a convincing sign that she likes him.
He may like the girl a lot and may be totally infatuated by her, but he’d always be hesitant to fall head over heels in love with her until he can get a big sign of affection in return.
Guys sow their wild oats at every instance they get, and they want to know immediately if there’s a potential to get together with the girl to evaluate whether they’re ready for a commitment with that girl.
Girls and that first kiss
Now girls aren’t very different from guys when it comes to that first date. When a girl goes on a date with a guy, she’d want to see a happy sign that the guy is enjoying himself on the date. And even more so, she’d want to see a big sign that proves that the guy likes her a lot!
But here comes the tricky part, that plays the big difference between men and women, and that first kiss on the first date.
A guy likes to sow, while a girl likes to take it slow. Evolutionally speaking, a man can prepare himself for sex and procreation every few hours, whereas a woman takes nine months to conceive and be ready for procreation again.
It’s this evolutionary fact that subconsciously makes a woman take time to decide if a man is worth the effort and the time. So the harder the man woos and pursues a woman *to prove just how awesome he is!*, the sooner the girl would fall in love with him and show her appreciation for him in return.
Is a kiss on the first date that big a deal?
Kissing on a first date can feel really good, but at the same time, there’s no going back from the first kiss. It may leave one or both of you wondering if things are going too fast. You may wonder if you actually like the person you dated, or was that kiss an accidental mistake that you come to regret.
You need to remember that many people may not be comfortable with the idea of kissing someone they’ve been with only for a few hours. Of course, if you’re living in a big city where life is fast paced and people don’t have time to take it slow and easy, you may see that kissing on the first date is more of a norm than an awkward thing to do at the end of the date.
But generally, even if there was a great potential of a perfect romance, that first kiss could complicate things and make you hasty, because you’d want to judge this person as a potential partner even before you get to know them well.
On the other hand, some guys or girls you date could see the first kiss on the first date as a sign of commitment! And they may start behaving like your partner on the very next date, which can make things so darn awkward, especially if they still feel like a stranger to you. Or it could get worse if they’re expecting another kiss or something more on the second date because you kissed them on the first date!
When is it okay to kiss on the first date?
Kissing on a first date isn’t bad. But it all depends on just how comfortable you are with the idea. Here are a few circumstances when a first kiss is completely acceptable.
#1 The sexual chemistry is intense. You can’t wait to make out with this person. And your date is having a hard time keeping their hands off you too!
#2 Mutual attraction. Both of you have been attracted to each other for a while before getting together on the date.
#3 You like your date. 
You’re on the date, and at some point during the date, you realize you actually like this person.
 #4 The perfect date. It’s a real date that’s lasted long into the night, and both of you have been really touchy feely the whole while.
#5 I’m not seeing you again! You’re on a date with a gorgeous person. You like them, but you just don’t feel the chemistry. You think the person is nice, but there’s nothing in common and you don’t intend on dating them again. You might as well just kiss the person and get the what-if over with.

When is it acceptable to not kiss on the first date?
While a kiss on the first date is perfectly acceptable, there are a few instances when it can just feel awkward and scripted. Here are a few reasons why you could skip the kiss on the date.
#1 It’s only been a few hours.
 You’re still getting to know your date, and you really don’t like kissing strangers.
#2 You don’t think you’ll date them. 
You’re not sure you want to date this person again, and you really have no interest in kissing someone you don’t find fascinating.
#3 Scripted kiss. 
There’s just too much pressure on that kiss at the end of the date. It’s killing the mood and you can’t concentrate on your date because you’re constantly thinking of that kiss. You may find it easier to just avoid kissing on the first date so you can enjoy the date instead of feeling stressed out.
#4 Your date is warm, but not ready. 
Your date seems to be enjoying your company and they seem to like you. But they’re not showing any real signs that they want to pucker up at some point at the end of the date.
#5 You just don’t feel like it. 
This could happen at times. You like your date and really want to see them again, but you don’t feel like kissing them. You probably want that first kiss to feel special and the moment just doesn’t seem right.

The first kiss and the fear of rejection
Many people live by the code that they don’t kiss on a first date, however well the date goes. For a few others, a kiss at the end of the first date feels rather scripted and expected, which can kill the romance and spontaneity of a perfect kiss.
A few girls would think the guy is sweet if he waits for more than just one date before planting a kiss. On the other hand, a few other girls may assume a guy’s weird or uninterested if he doesn’t try puckering up before the end of the date.
And guys, well, they’d just be confused about what to do! But usually, a guy who sees a serious romantic potential in his date may prefer to stay away from the kiss on the first date unless he sees a sign from the girl. It’s the gentlemanly thing to do, and it’s a lot safer than being rejected by someone he really wants to impress.
Girls, if you do want the guy to kiss you, give him a few subtle signs so he can get the hint.
And guys, work your magic and help your date feel more comfortable during the date. And if she likes you, chances are, she’d want your kiss before the end of the night.
Testing the water to avoid that awkward feeling
There are so many kinds of daters in the world, and you can’t really tell who’s stingy and who’s generous with their first kiss. So take it easy, don’t script any kisses into the first date and go with the flow. If you really like your date and intend to kiss them *but you don’t see any signs of reciprocation from your date*, wait until the end of the date.
As you sit in the car or stand outside their door during that final goodbye, move in closer to hug your date, and plant a soft kiss on their cheek. And as you do that, don’t move away. Just stay close for a few seconds and see if your date reciprocates by bringing their face closer to yours.
If your date moves away after that hug and the kiss on the cheek, well, better luck next time. But if your date comes closer, well, move in for that kiss because that’s what your date wants too!

Easy Ways To Avoid Awkward Silences During a Date

Ever been on a date peppered with so many awkward pauses that time seems to drag on forever? Just keep these 8 tips in mind, and avoid those awkward silences! 

 

Those first few dates are tricky business, and it gets worse if both of you don’t know each other very well.
Thoughts like, “Will he be intimated if I talk about current affairs?” and “Will she think I am insensitive if I crack a religious joke now?” float around in people’s minds all the time.
And when you over-think what you should or should not say to someone new, you inevitably invite in unbearable lulls in the conversation.
But remember, you are not alone when it comes to cautious colloquy on a first date.

Awkward silences – We’ve all been there!
We have all seen the recent paparazzi snapshots of Victoria Beckham and Samuel L. Jackson at Wimbledon. Two powerhouses sitting next to each other at one of the greatest sporting events in the world with nothing to say, the awkwardness amplified even more with fuzzy snapshots of the awkward tugging of jacket lapels and the fiddling of already perfectly coiffed hair. Although they may not have been on a date, awkward silences tend to creep into everyday circumstances, seeping into social cracks and crevices when we least expect them to. And this is further amplified on a date.
Seamless chatter that end with a romantic stroll along the boardwalk and a passionate kiss goodnight *or more* at the door do not have to be reserved for chick lit and summer flicks. We are all human and awkward silences are the norm, especially when we are getting to know someone new and have no idea where the ‘uncrossable’ line lies.

8 easy ways to avoid awkward silences during a date
If you ever find yourself in a situation where you can’t help but feel hot under the collar as your wriggle your sweaty toes uncomfortably, all you have to do is fill in the blanks with these great suggestions and you will never have to worry about dreaded awkward silences again.

#1 Skirt controversial topics
As passionate as you are about wanting to see the destruction of the financial system, or think that all women should have the right to be pro-choice, or even if you think that the president is a douche *or not*, save controversial topics for when you get to know your date a little better.
For all you know, he or she may be heavily invested in hedge funds, be completely against abortion, or by a twist of fate is related to the president.
In general, steer clear from conversations that may lead to one person taking a firm stance against the other. As healthy and fun as a passionate debate may be, you may want to take the pressure out of your first date and save it for when you can garner a little more information on the person. The only thing worse than awkward silences during a date is to get walked out on midway through your scallop cerviche.
If you happen to land on a sensitive and controversial topic and realize that your date is a little touchy-feely about it, sidestep the issue and say something like, “Well, how about we save that little powwow for later and focus on this instead?”. Follow up by throwing in a random yet witty bit of information on anything that tickles your fancy and see where the conversation leads to next.

#2 Skirt the past as well
You should also remember to avoid talking about the past, unless they bring it up, of course. Trying to weasel information about why your date’s last relationship failed, or why they are no longer on speaking terms with their parents is not exactly something to focus on when it comes to date number one. Questions like these will undoubtedly lead to awkward pauses.
Diffuse the situation by turning the subject to yourself instead. If you have no qualms speaking about your past, do it, but remember to stick to happy memories and avoid the boohoo bits.
Turn the conversation to yourself and lead it to something different with a line like, “Well, I for one do not have a great relationship with my mother, but she used to make these amazing coconut cookies, and as a kid it reminded me of the beach. Do you enjoy spending time by the ocean?”

#3 Acknowledge the silence
You will be surprised at how well honesty can work in an awkward situation. Slice through the tension with an honest response in a comical voice like, “Well, that was awkward, let’s try and avoid that, shall we? It’s a little too early for quiet time.” Follow up with a new topic of conversation completely unrelated to what you were previously gabbing *or not* about.

#4 Siblings and friends
When you are speechless and feel cornered conversationally, kickstart a topic related to siblings and friends. Most people feel comfortable speaking about the people closest to them as it is classified as non-threatening territory.
Whether it is talking about backpacking Europe with your college roommate, or attending your nephew’s retro-inspired first birthday bash, you will be able to dig up a myriad of random conversation starters by sorting through your mental Rolodex of friends and siblings.
Say something relatable and non-threatening like, “I have a four-year old niece who wants to be a nurse and you will not believe the things she makes her parents do during playtime. When I was her age I wanted to be a paleontologist. What about you?”

#5 Travel anywhere special?
Talking about our big, beautiful world is a surefire way to start a wonderful gab fest. Ask your date about where they have traveled to and what they found most inspiring about these places. Follow up with witty tales of your personal travels, the people you met, the things you ate, and the sights you got the chance to witness.
Even the most worldly traveler will not be able to resist hearing about your experience eating a fried scorpion in the back alleys of Siem Reap. If your date has not traveled much, ask them, “Well, let’s just say you get to drop everything right this minute and go off on an adventure. Where would you go and why?” 

#6 Ask about achievements
People love talking about themselves. Personal experiences that encompass failures and achievements mold a person into what they are and most of the time, people are not shy to speak about what got them to where they are. Even if your date is only doing so-so career wise, they will undoubtedly have something to say about what they are doing, their career aspirations, horrible bosses, and so on.
If speaking about work is not something either of you want to touch on, ask your date about something you know they are good at such as, “Janine told me you are a great chef and a master at Thai cuisine. What made you pick up cooking?” 

#7 Weekend activities
One way to diffuse tension is to speak about weekend activities. Not only is this neutral territory, it will also give you an insight into your date’s general likes and dislikes. From going to the local shooting range, to rock climbing, to taking pole dancing classes, you will be able to garner plenty of information on a person’s character just by asking what they enjoy doing.
Not just that, it will give you plenty of talking points to fall back on the next time an awkward lull pops into the conversation.
Start with something that you enjoy doing and move on from there. “I recently completed level one of a Hatha Yoga course and am very excited to start level two. What do you enjoy doing over the weekends? Perhaps I can get some tips from you on where to go and what to do once I’m done with level two.”

#8 Indulge in an activity
You can also opt to move on to something that both of you can do without the need for much speaking. Doing something together will loosen the tension and hopefully lead to another chance at a meaningful conversation. 
If you are at a restaurant or bar, suggest getting up to dance if there is music on. If you are taking a stroll, indulge in an ice cream or partake in a random word game.
Draw inspiration from your surroundings or a third party if there isn’t an activity that you can escape to. Say something like, “I was told that these chandeliers were imported from Italy. I wonder if the owner has roots there.”  or “I hear that George Clooney recently vacationed not too far from here. Do you enjoy any of his movies?”

Things You HAVE to Avoid Doing on Your First Date!

Want to awe the person you’re meeting on your first date? Just focus on having a good time, and make sure you avoid these 18 things that are best avoided!

 

Every first date you have is potentially the last first date you will ever have! It only takes one time to meet the perfect person and once you find them, well, you don’t carry on looking, do you?
So you need to make sure that you make the best impression every time. After all, a first date is certainly not an assurance that you will get a second, so you need to make sure that you make that assurance while you’re at it.
 18 things you have to avoid doing on a first date
Of course, this is easier said than done and often, people can fall into habit traps that they don’t even realize put other people off. So what are the habit traps and how do you avoid them?
Here are 18 little annoyances that can turn into a dating turn off if you don’t keep them in check.

#1 The date setting. 
It can often be tempting to try something different on a first date like paintballing or water-skiing, but the problem with this is that you are not going to be able to talk to your date. Yes, you might seem adventurous to them, but they won’t get a chance to actually get to know you. This makes it hard to build a connection with your date and significantly lowers the chance of getting a second one.

#2 Make simple plans.
Another thing to avoid doing if you are in charge of setting up the first date is making it too complicated. Yes, it might be lovely to go see a film, then go eat and then go to the beach, but you might find by the time you have eaten that the two of you have nothing in common. Instead, plan a simple date with only one or two activities. If you find that at the end of those activities, you want to go to the beach, then do, but at least there is no pressure if both of you want to split ways.

#3 Always be on time.
 Okay, there may be a saying about being fashionably late, but don’t buy into it. This is your first date and you want to make a good impression. You want to be seen as reliable and not flaky. Being on time will help your date know that you are worth their time to get to know. If you show up half an hour late, then there is a good chance your date might have already left the building assuming they’ve been stood up!

#4 Cover yourself up, it’s cold out!
 I hate to sound like your mother here, but seriously girls, you need to start covering up. It might be tempting to dress yourself up like sex on legs, but if you do, then that’s all your date is going to see you as. There is a rule of principle that every girl should follow on a first date, either legs or chest, but never both.
By this, you can have some cleavage out, but cover up your legs, or have your legs out but cover up your cleavage. This way, you are well balanced and your date is left with a little room for imagination.

#5 You’re only a stalker if you get caught.
Okay, you can admit it, as soon as you found out your date’s last name, you were searching for them on Facebook and Google. There is nothing to be ashamed of and we all do it. However, telling your date that you know about their childhood pooch Mr. Barksalot might seem a little weird. There is nothing wrong with doing a little research, just don’t bring it to the table with you.

#6 Don’t forget to put your best foot forwards. 
 It can be really easy in the hours and days leading up to a first date, to become worried about impressions. People can often find themselves freaking out when they can’t find the perfect outfit or their face has become zit city. This doesn’t need to happen though, often the other half of the date will be getting themselves just as worked up. You both like each other, otherwise this date wouldn’t be happening, so relax and just be yourself.

#7 Being an ice queen won’t melt many hearts.
 I’ve watched enough romantic comedies to know that if you like a person, then you should play it cool. This doesn’t mean however that you should turn into an ice queen or king, it doesn’t mean you should wait three days to call your date or you should act like you don’t care while you’re on the date. Playing it cool means giving it a few minutes before you text back, and not setting your Facebook relationship status to ‘married’ before you have even been asked out!

#8 Life is a stage and all the men and women…
 Sometimes, the pressure of a first date can make you feel like you have to put on a performance or only show your best side. This might secure you a second date, but it’s unlikely that you will get much further than that. A first date is all about working out if you are compatible with the other person, and you won’t be able to work that out if you are playing pretend.

#9 Don’t judge a book by its cover. 
 They say that within five seconds of meeting someone, you will have already formed an opinion of them. Do not let that opinion stop you from getting to know someone. You cannot know everything you need to know from five seconds with a person, you need to at least give them a chance, you never know they might be having a bad day or you might have caught them at the wrong time.

#10 Don’t just hear blah blah blah.
 Sometimes, you will find yourself drifting in and out of conversations, a first date is not the place to do this. It doesn’t matter if your date is boring you silly. You need to give them your full attention until the very end, otherwise you haven’t really given them a fair chance, have you? It wouldn’t be nice if they weren’t listening to you, so try to remember that.

#11 The five year plan is off the table. 
 During your date, you will talk about all kinds of things, where you grew up, what your upbringing was like and your hopes and dreams for the future. It’s a great time to really get to know the person you might end up in a relationship with, but it is not the time however to ask about their five year plan. It’s a first date and nothing is certain yet, so asking whether your date wants to get married at some point might seem a little over the top.

#12 You’re not in on the joke.
 If you don’t think a joke is funny, then don’t laugh, it’s perfectly alright to just smile. There is nothing worse than someone who laughs at everything their date says, just because they want to impress them, even if it means behaving like a silly child who’s smitten by the person they’re talking to.
Let your date see your identity by the way you behave around them. After all, you’re not on the date only to please the person you’re with. Truthfully speaking, you’re on the date because you are willing to let yourself be evaluated while evaluating the person at the same time.

#13 EXcuses.  
One topic that should never be discussed on a first date is the ex-files. It doesn’t matter how much they screwed you over and how much better off without them you are now. Talking about your ex on a first date will only make your date think that you are not over them yet. No one wants to play second fiddle to someone’s ex. If it pops up accidentally, talk about your ex briefly. Otherwise, just skip it.

#14 One, two, three and floor.
 First dates are meant to be fun, right? So what’s the harm in having a drink or two? There’s nothing wrong with a drink or two, however three or four might be pushing it a bit.
A good drink helps to shut up the sensible part of the brain, the part that says “Should I really be doing this?” and “Will I regret this in the morning?” So you need to be careful not to drink too much, otherwise you might be waking up to more than the cat in your bed.

Subtle Flirty Questions You Can Ask your Crush

Dating columns and self-help books tell you to be yourself and have the guts to ask your crush point blank about the way he or she feels about you. We’re here to tell you that it’s not your first line of defense. You can actually ask them a round of questions that can give you the best insight on how they see you – as just- friends or maybe more.

Mind-reading tactics
If mind reading were an available superpower to the masses, there would be no need for this feature. Sadly, since only the super-secret elite and imaginary have this power, you will have to settle for the ordinary alternative: reading into things.
Research has proven that you can tell what a person is thinking through body language, micro-expressions and significant tells. These methods need to be studied for years before you can presume to know how a person thinks.
The easy route can be accessed from the comfort of your own home via their social media accounts. You can learn a lot about a person from their photos, public correspondence, the music they listen to and even the things that they like on Facebook. People tend to express their thoughts using Tweets and show their experiences using Facebook and Instagram.
We’re not saying that you should invest your energy in researching into everything about them online, but it does help if you see what they’re up to now and again. The little things you notice can help you start a few conversations. Who knows? This could be your first step to a long and lasting relationship.
What to ask your crush to know if they like you or not
Since you’re pressed for time and really need to know if your crush likes you or not, we’ve developed a list of questions you can ask your crush. Their answers and reactions will give you an idea about what their intentions are towards you.

#1 Do you know this band that I really love?
 First, ask them what their favorite music is. When they answer you, tell them about a really obscure band in a similar genre that you like and ask them if they like that band. If you don’t like any obscure bands, find one that may be unfamiliar to your crush.
They like you if… they say they don’t know the band and would really love to listen to them sometime… preferably with you. If they make an effort to find the band and give you their thoughts on it, then they probably like you even without the invite.
They don’t if… they say yes or no and leave the conversation at that.

#2 Have you been to that place on the other side of town that no one’s ever heard of?  
Ask them if they’ve been to this out-of-the-way restaurant you recently discovered. Tell them that you really love the Thursday night Chef’s Special and that they should try it sometime.
They like you if… they ask you to accompany them to said restaurant. If not, they can also ask you what other types of food you like. Your crush showing an interest in your likes and dislikes is a good sign.
They don’t if… they ask you for the address and gush about how so-and-so would probably love to go there.

#3 How did you do on that activity I almost failed in?
 Find out which subject they excel at in school or which department they belong to in their company. Tell them that you’ve been having some problems about a particular activity related to what they’re good at and mention that you have no idea what to do about it.
They like you if… they offer to tutor you or teach you about it while you both get coffee. If they don’t ask you out just yet, they might try to use the topic as an excuse to talk to you more in the future.
They don’t if… they pawn you off to somebody who knows more about the subject than they do.

#4 What’s the right way to do this exciting new hobby that I have?  
Start a new hobby or mention one that you crush also happens to be doing. Ask them anything about that hobby.
They like you if… they invite you to spend time with them doing that hobby. They could also give you some tips and tricks you could use when you’re not together. If they are enthusiastic about your involvement in the activity, you may need to invest full-time on it or admit that you were only trying to see what they liked about it so much.
They don’t if… they tell you a few things about that hobby and how awesome it was the last time they did it. Nothing more.

#5 What’s your type?
 This may seem like a pretty obvious hint about your feelings at first, but you can avoid blowing your cover by saying that you might have a crush and that you would really like their point of view on the subject.
They like you if… they describe the exact same person as you. If they stammer, blush or laugh about the question, it could be a sign that they like you. It could also mean that they know you like them. It’s not an absolute confirmation, but it’s the step in the right direction.
They don’t if… they give you a straight answer describing a person who could very well be your polar opposite. They may describe a person with certain similarities, but they could just be saying that to humor your unexpectedly awkward question.

#6 Are you seeing someone now?
Another obvious question, but these types of in-your-face tell-me-you-love-me-or-not questions are just a precursor to what’s really on your mind – studying their reaction to the question.
They like you if… they vehemently deny it. When a person asks a question like this, it’s easy to assume that you’re asking because you’re looking to fill in that position. If they are single and they like you, they will use the opportunity to express how they really feel about you *or at least hint about it*. It’s all about making your own windows of opportunity.
They don’t if… the answer to your question is “yes.” If they’re single, they may mention some of the reasons they’re not looking to date right now. They may also say that they haven’t found the right person yet.

Although these questions can help nudge you in the right direction, they should not be considered as an absolute confirmation as to whether your crush likes you. Their answers and reactions could mean one thing or another.
The best way to know if your crush likes you is to actually experience their affection firsthand. If nothing clicks and they don’t seem to be interested in getting to know you more, then maybe you may need to step up and express what you feel.
I wish there was an indirect yet telling question out there that could explicitly verify that your crush likes you without being too obvious, but there isn’t. The good thing, though, is that you now have a bunch of stuff to ask your crush that can lead to a great conversation!