Is it Time to Break Up?

Identifying a bad mate is not easy. But as time passes, you’d be able to become a better judge. So is it time to break up? Read the hidden signs.

 

It’s never easy to recognize a wrong lover or realize if it is time to break up, especially if you’ve been in love for a while.
But if you’re in a relationship that’s causing you more pain and sleepless nights than love and happy hours, then perhaps it’s time you watch out for these silent signals that every bad lover gives away.
If you find yourself experiencing any of these signs here, it’s probably time to break up and move on.

The blind spot in love
Every time a guy and a girl get together, there’s always sparks of love, bursts of attraction and those starry-eyed moments.
And then there’s the “oooh, I’m so in love with you” times and a lot more.
In almost every relationship in the world, the start is almost always perfect.
For some, the sunny phase of infatuation could last a week, and for others, maybe even a year.
When people fall in love, they easily readjust their blind spot over the negative aspects of their new lover, until the passion of the initial phase starts to flicker.
The flicker of lost passion is gradual, and it’s hard to distinguish the difference when you’re in love.
And very soon, you may just learn to “accept” that all relationships lose the spark after a few months.
Or worse, you may even realize the fact that you’re not happy in the relationship, but you may be too afraid to walk out, because you’re still not sure if it’s time for you to break up.

Is it time to break up?
There’s something about love that all of us should remember, when your gut tries to tell you something, you have to follow it.
But if you’re not really sure if you’re stuck in a losing battle, here are a few tell tale signs that confirm the fact that it’s time to break up and walk on, without your lover by your side. See if these traits describe your relationship, and if they do, you’d be better off going your own separate ways.

In love with an ex
Talking about an ex once in a while may be a sign of your lover opening up to you. The conversation could also be mildly interesting. But a person who continuously talks about their ex has some serious issues to think about.
Now if they’re happy in love with you, why would your mate want to talk about an ex? On an occasional note, that’s not bad at all. But some people don’t understand that there’s a big difference in a passing comment and a three hour one-sided speech about an ex! One sure sign that your lover’s just using you for “love” is when they start speaking about their ex as if they were better than you, or if they start comparing you negatively.
If you’re trying to push yourself to try and be a better lover, just give that up and chuck your mate out in the dirt. Being unfairly compared on a regular basis is not something anyone in the world would want to put up with. After all, no one wants to be viewed or treated as second best, especially not with an ex!

Isolation rules
When a mate says they want to be with you all the time, of course, it makes you feel special. But as time passes by, you may find that you’re spending more time with this one person, and hardly any with your best friends or family.
A person who wants you to be around them all the time, even if you have better things to do, may just be jealous that you might have a better time with others and may want to go out again. Even if you’re having a boring time with your mate, if your mate keeps convincing you not to meet others, either by threatening you or by bad mouthing about them, then it’s time you let your mate know straight out, that your friends and family are just as important to you.
How can you expect to get settled down and be happy with a person who would love to see you in an isolation cell for the rest of your life just to feel more secure?

Abuse and threaten
Remember this, no matter how nice a partner is, if they’re abusive, verbally or physically, they’re not worth being with. Is it time to break up if an abusive streak shows up? Definitely.
Never look at that as “just one little bad habit”. You wouldn’t say the same thing the day your dinner gets poisoned or when your partner gives you a black eye, would you?
Do not be mistaken into thinking that you can change the person. Many abusers will not change however many times they fall into your lap crying and begging for forgiveness. If you threaten to leave but then receive a marriage proposal or an expensive gift, do not be fooled. A person who is willing to abuse you before marriage will not hesitate to do so after they have slipped the ring on your finger. At least if you leave now, you can avoid the trauma of an abusive marriage and a potentially nasty divorce.

Cheating mate
When you catch your lover cheating on you, you have two options. Take them back and risk going through it all over again or break off the relationship and start your life afresh.
Your partner may be sorry for what they have done and promise to remain faithful in future, but can you trust them again? The doubts may never go away if you stay with your partner. But if you think you can hold on and help grow the relationship, then give it a shot. But make sure you dump your cheating half immediately even if you sense a small sliver of a doubt after the first incident. Or your mate may end up cheating on you, again and again, until you’re the one who’s left messed up.

 Constant arguments
Do you find that both of you are constantly arguing and waiting to pick a fight? Your love may be on rocky shores and it may only be a matter of time before things get worse. The reason you are in a relationship is to find out if you are compatible with one another, possibly in preparation for marriage.
But if after a while, you find that you are not compatible and you argue all the time, then it may be time to break up and end the relationship. The person you thought was your soulmate may not be perfect after all, and this can be hard to accept.
It’s never easy to accept that you picked the wrong lover. But really, everyone makes mistakes, so don’t fret. Isn’t walking out a much better option than hanging on to the worst relationship you’ve ever had?

Control freak
Every now and then, when we fall in love, we come across control freaks. At first, all their quizzing sounds sweet and concerned, which makes you feel special. But as time passes by, you notice that their curiosity turns into a desperate bid to know every little detail about the things you do.
They sulk, abuse, or get frustrated when you don’t let them know what you’ve been up to for a couple of hours, and they would want to be around you all the time.
A person who wants to be around you all the time may just be insecure or may have had some issues in the past. Perhaps they were cheated and they’re worried it’ll happen again. But this sort of behavior would not change easily, so if you’re hoping your mate would just wake up one morning and stop pissing you off all the time, it’s never going to happen. This behavior will go on till the last day of your relationship unless your partner and you work on it.
It is never easy to distinguish the difference between a true lover and a selfish person who cares about nothing but themselves. But if you’re ever caught in a trap with a person who drains the happiness out of your life each and every single day when you’re together, ask yourself, isn’t it much better to just break up, even if it feels like it’s the hardest thing to do?
So if you ever find your mate exhibiting any of these breakup time signs, then give them a warning, or walk straight out if you can’t tolerate it anymore.

How to Stop Thinking About Someone You Still Like

Want to know how to stop thinking about someone you like and miss? Here are 20 tips that can help you with that and make you a better person too.

It’s hard being ignored by someone you like.
And at other times, it’s painfully hard to force yourself to stop thinking of someone when you know it just can’t work out.
I’ve been in many happy relationships myself and a few of them did end in a bad way where I was left in the lurch.

And I’ve been madly in love with someone who I know will never love me back for silly reasons.
At the end of it all, through my turmoil and pain, I learnt a few things that helped me stop thinking about someone you like, especially when they don’t like you back

How to stop thinking about someone
You may have your own reasons to stop thinking of someone.
While the reasons to stop missing someone may be plenty, the ways are all similar.
Here are 20 easy tips that you could use to stop missing someone and realize where you’re going wrong at the same time.

#1 Make up your mind. 
What do you really want to do? Do you want to get over that person or do you just want to stop obsessing over them? Sometimes, clarity is all you need to progress and face reality.

#2 Look for closure. 
Don’t ignore the incident or avoid thinking about it. Instead, accept the fact that the event happened. Spend a day or two brooding over it by yourself and once you feel saturated by thoughts, let go and move on.

#3 Don’t feign memory loss. 
Don’t pretend like you don’t miss that person. Don’t try to forget that this person existed. Instead, just focus on ways to avoid getting affected by it.

#4 Find someone else to think about. 
If you want to stop thinking about someone, the easiest and perfect way is to find someone else to think about. Create a distraction and start obsessing about someone else. It’ll work wonders.

#5 Don’t look for ways to contact them or bump into them. 
 It’s easy to fantasize about circumstances and happy reunions. Instead, give up on plotting ways to contact them and accept the fact that you are looking for ways to stop thinking of them.

#6 Think of their negative traits.
 If you’re smitten by someone, it’s time to knock them off your pedestal of awesomeness. Think of it, this person wasn’t as perfect as you imagined them to be. If you want to avoid falling in love with them, remember all their flaws and heighten them.

#7 Don’t be depressed.
  It’s easy to get depressed and suffer from low self esteem, especially when you feel like someone’s walked all over you. Have a laugh yourself and enjoy a good time. Watch funny youtube videos or a comedy to remind yourself of how it feels to laugh.

#8 Don’t stay idle. 
An idle mind is a devil’s workshop. Heard that one before, haven’t you? In this case, it’ll be the workshop of the one you’re thinking about. You do know it’s stupid to give this person any more space and time on your mind. So keep yourself occupied and avoid thinking of this person.

#9 Don’t stalk them, online or offline.
 Social networks have made it so much easier to stalk exes and crushes. While it may seem like a gift, it’s still a curse. You’ll never move on unless you keep all news of this person away.

#10 Respect yourself.
 This *special someone* walked all over you by treating you like dirt. They don’t respect you nor do they care about you. Do you think you respect yourself enough? If you do, why are you humiliating yourself by obsessing about someone who clearly doesn’t deserve any of your time or love?

#11 Learn a new activity. 
Learn or do something that’s always excited you, be it playing games or joining a dance class. It’ll fill your mind with fresh, happy thoughts that’ll eventually wipe away all traces of the person you’re trying to get over.

#12 Don’t criticize yourself. 
Don’t try to pick flaws in yourself and find reasons for their behavior. Sometimes, some people are just selfish or they just suck. There’s nothing wrong with you.

#13 Avoid romantic movies. 
Avoid romantic movies, songs and shows. It’ll just stir up all those locked emotions and turn you into a sadist who loves torturing yourself. Watch fun movies or for something even better, watch wild sexy movies involving lots of friends or single people.

#14 Visit new places or go on a vacation. 
Sometimes, all you need is a fabulous vacation with friends to clear your mind and focus on new things. You’ll come back feeling a lot better.

#15 Accept the fact that they’ve moved on. 
 Remind yourself that they’ve moved on and forgotten all about you. You know what, this person doesn’t even care about you anymore! They’re probably thinking of someone else right now. Disgusts you, doesn’t it? Well, accept the fact and let that give you the strength.

#16 Don’t talk about that person with your friends. 
 Indulge in gossip, but avoid talking about this person even if it feels sickly satisfying to talk about them.

Gestures Women Make When They Care About You But Don’t Want A Relationship

1. NEVER ENDING TEXTING
She doesn’t want to have a never ending text conversation just to make the claim that you’re “talking.” However, if you went to her with a problem, or important news, she’d make time for you.

2. MORE TIME WITH YOU

 It may be obvious that she doesn’t want you to spend the night, but she wants you to spend more time at her place than just an hour in her bedroom. There’s usually a prelude – drinks or a meal – and the conversation goes beyond obligatory small talk.

3. LETTING YOU KNOW THE STATUS

 She’s open about not wanting a relationship by letting you know what her out is. She’ll let you know if she’s moving, if she just got out of a serious relationship, or if she’s too busy at work to foster a full-fledged relationship.

4. PUBLIC AWARENESS
 She’ll meet up with you in public, maybe even introduce you to a few friends, but never as a boyfriend. Don’t read too much into it, or take her politeness to mean more than it does.

5. CONSIDERATION
 When you’re over, she’ll consider you a friend, as opposed to someone she used to hook up with.

6.  BEING TOO EXPLANATORY
She’ll explain herself when she can’t make it over to your house, but wants you to understand that it’s a courtesy. She isn’t obligated to tell you where she is, nor does she want you to commit her schedule to memory.

7. NEVER KEEPS YOU HANGING
She will make you feel like there’s a next time after you spend time together. She won’t leave you feeling like everytime might be the last.

8. 100% STRAIGHT WITH YOU
If it is the last, she’ll tell you, just like you should tell her if you’re hesitant to continue. She would rather be 100% straight with you, and tell you if she met someone else and wanted to get more serious with them, rather than giving you a made up excuse.

9. PAMPERING

She’ll let you pamper her, and vice versa, but won’t encourage going on couples’ adventures together. You can make her eggs in the morning, or grab some wine on your way over, but she doesn’t want to have a candlelight picnic in the park with you.

 10.ALLOWS YOU PAMPER HER
 She won’t shy from intimacies in bed that some would say are reserved for couples. She’s not going to avoid making eye contact, or pull her hand away from yours, but that moment is an isolated experience, not a commitment.