Signs It’s Time to Move On and End the Relationship

Do you ever wonder if you’re in an unhappy or wrong relationship? Use these 16 signs to find out if it’s time to move on and end your relationship.

When you enter into a romantic relationship with someone, you don’t expect it to fail.
You walk into the relationship with your hopes high, and look forward to a promising future with the one you’ve fallen in love with.
But not all relationships work out perfectly, even if the two people involved seem perfect for each other, do they?
What would you do if you find yourself in a relationship that’s just so wrong for you?
Would you walk away or would you endure the pain in the hope that things would get better soon?
You may be able to answer this question easily right now, if you weren’t caught up in the thick of a messy relationship.
And if you’re in a relationship that’s been harming you slowly, one day at a time, would you even be able to recognize the signs of a bad relationship?
As easy as it is to give advice to others, following the same is never easy, because reading the signs is always a hard thing to do when your mind is clouded with hope and love.
Is it time to move on and end the relationship?
When you see a friend who’s experiencing a bad relationship, it’s easy to point fingers or call them stupid for enduring such an obvious mess.
But when you experience the same scenario, you’d probably realize that something’s not right, but would you be able to pass a judgment on whether it’s fixable or something you need to walk away from?
As confusing or complicated as a problem in a relationship may seem, it starts and ends with a simple idea, and that’s happiness. And if you use happiness as a yardstick to decode your relationship, you’d find that it could help you understand yourself and the relationships you’re in, a lot better

You’re not happy
It’s this simple really. If you aren’t happy in your relationship, you’re not in a happy relationship.
Now there are two things you can do here, you can try to fix the problems before it’s too late.
Or you can move on, especially if you’ve tried to fix the relationship several times, and it still doesn’t bring you any closer to happiness.
16 signs it’s time to move on and end the relationship
So are you happy or unhappy in love? Here are 16 clear signs that can help you understand if you’re in a relationship that isn’t worth holding on to. Can you relate to at least a few of these signs in your own relationship?
All of us have our own thresholds when it comes to sacrifices and enduring pain in the hope of a better relationship. But if you feel like you’re fighting a losing battle while trying to bring happiness into your romance, ask yourself if you see these signs in your own love life.

#1 The spark is missing. 
 You don’t know why you’re in the relationship anymore. The romance is missing, there’s no chemistry or companionship, and both of you just exist in each other’s lives without any special reason. Sometimes, you secretly wonder why both of you are even together in the first place?

#2 You’re hurting. 
You’re misunderstood, hurt or angry all the time. Sometimes, you don’t even know why, but just thinking of your partner hurts you or annoys you. And sadly, even if you haven’t given this a thought, you haven’t been happy for a very long time.

#3 You’re being taken for granted.  
Your partner uses you, manipulates your understanding nature and takes you for granted, no matter how nice you are to them. You’ve been doing all the giving, in the hope that your partner will see how selfless and loving you are, and change for the better some day.

#4 You don’t see a future. 
You’re satisfied with your relationship, and you’re happy-ish. But every time you’re alone or try to see where your relationship is going, your mind tells you that your relationship has no future. And as hard as you try to visualize a perfect tomorrow, you can’t see your partner as a long-term lover.

#5 Uninvolved. 
Your partner doesn’t care enough to play an active part in your life, nor do they even try to understand your life. They’re emotionally uninvolved and unavailable, even when you try to make them feel involved.

#6 Sexual intimacy. 
 You can’t remember the last time both of you made love. You’ve tried your best to bring the sizzle back into the bedroom, but your partner prefers to turn the other way and feign sleep. And it feels worse when you catch your partner admiring others when both of you are walking down a street.

#7 What holds both of you together? 
Are you in the relationship or marriage only because of the baggage that holds the both of you together? If the reason for the existence of the romantic relationship isn’t love, then you’re only fooling yourself if you believe it’ll ever bring you any happiness.

#8 Deep trust issues.
  You don’t trust your partner anymore. There may be a genuine reason for the lack of trust, or perhaps, both of you just have different expectations from each other when it comes to trust and believing in each other. But unless both of you even the creases on the issue of trust, the love will only fade, and never grow.

#9 Different lives. 
There are no meaningful conversations between the two of you. You have nothing to talk about beyond small talk because your values, vision, and expectations from life are completely different from your partner’s views and both of you haven’t taken the initiative to find common grounds.

#10 Back to square one. 
It happens all the time. There’s a lot of love. And then comes a big fight. And then both of you communicate with each other and end the argument with a lot of love and affection.
And in no time, the same issues crop up all over again, and the same cycle starts all over again. Can both of you ever evolve as a couple if the same issues stagnate your lives and stops both of you from bonding together as a couple?

#11 Controlling behavior. 
People with insecure personalities don’t always confront their partner. Instead, they use manipulation, aggression and subtle controlling behavior to manipulate you into believing they’re right and you’re wrong. And before you know it, you’d feel lost and all alone because you would lose all your friends and turn into your partner’s slave.

#12 Individual lives. 
You think you love your partner, and you think you’re happy in your relationship. But yet, both of you just live together and have nothing in common, and lead individual lives.

#13 People pleasers. 
Your partner constantly goes overboard to please another person just to impress them and win their fancy. But they’d never ever do anything like that for you.

#14 Fault finding.
Your partner makes you feel inadequate in the relationship all the time. They treat you like you’re not good enough, and always find faults with everything you do. They break you emotionally, and constantly expect you to change for them because you’re not good enough!

#15 You don’t enjoy their company. 
You dread spending time together with your partner. You feel comfortable hanging out with your lover as long as it’s with a group of friends. But every time you have to spend some *quality* time together, it makes you feel uncomfortable.


#16 Respect. Do you respect your partner as an individual? Does your partner respect you? For a relationship to be successful, respect for one another plays a very big part. If there’s no respect for each other, then there’s surely no hope for the future.

Bad habits that Hurts into relationship

Are you subconsciously doing things that could hurt your relationship? See these 16 bad habits to know if you’re hurting your lover without realizing it.

 

All of us have a few bad habits that we don’t realize.
Sometimes, these habits could be silly or cute.
But at most other times, these subconscious bad habits could end up hurting you or distancing you from the one you love.
When you fall in love with someone, you can’t see their bad habits, at least not until you’re past the stage of infatuation.
And likewise, your partner won’t see the bad in you because they’re so smitten by you and your love for them.
But once the rose tinted veil of infatuation sweeps past your eyes, it’s only then that the nagging habits start to reveal themselves.

Bad habits that turn into relationship breakers
You can’t change who you are, can you?
And if you have a few bad habits that could play the part of a deal breaker in your romance, you may realize it only when it’s too late.
After all, it’s easier to deny that you have faults than to accept that you may be flawed, or that your behavior has a significant role to play in the drift between you and your lover.
Now not all bad habits could affect your relationship for the worse. But there are a few which your partner could overlook for a while, until those habits sow the seed that could split the ground in your perfect relationship and give way to other critical differences.

16 silly bad habits that can hurt your relationship
Are you indulging in any of these 16 bad habits in your own relationship? These habits may seem trivial to many, but it’s these very habits that could go from a minor annoyance to a big reason for a break up soon enough if you don’t keep an eye on them.


#1 Taken for granted. 
You know your partner’s sweet and caring. And you love them for it. But do you remember to appreciate your partner and thank them for all the little things they do, be it finding your keys or opening the doors for you?
You may think it’s silly to constantly thank your partner for every little thing they do. But chances are, you may start taking these sweet gestures for granted even before you realize it, and they’d turn into expectations instead!

#2 Lover pleaser. 
You try really hard to please your partner, but you get really upset when your partner doesn’t realize you’ve done something for them. And yet, you continue to do nice things for them all the time *which they take for granted* and eventually turn into a relationship martyr.
If your partner takes you for granted, talk to them about it. Bottling your rage or sadness will not help you. Perhaps, your partner didn’t even realize that you’ve done something sweet for them. Communicate and express yourself now and then, and stop trying to be a helpless people pleaser.

#3 Testing your partner.
  You intentionally make big demands or throw tantrums just to see if your partner cares enough to go the extra mile for you. These petty tests are rather common at the start of a new relationship when you’d want your lover to prove their love for you, but don’t carry this habit into the later stages of love or your constant games and tests would annoy your lover.

#4 Blame games. 
Don’t put the fault entirely on your partner if you believe you have a small role to play too. It’s easy to point a finger and accuse your partner for the mess that both of you are in. But by doing that, your partner would feel cornered and helpless, and even angry and hurt.
On the other hand, by sharing the blame or acknowledging your role in the mistake, you’d be giving your partner the emotional support they so badly need at that moment.
#5 Silent treatment. Do you choose to ignore your partner instead of talking about something that’s hurt you? You’re not alone. Many men and women would rather sit down in the corner and stare at the ceiling than answer their partner when they’re annoyed for some reason. Never do that because you’d only end up hurting your partner, make them feel miserable, and hate you at the same time.

#6 Unbalanced expectations.
Do you have high expectations from your partner, and expect them to have lower expectations from you *because you’re too busy providing for the family or busy doing something else?*
The roles between a husband and a wife or a boyfriend and a girlfriend could be different, but that gives no right for one partner to demand more from the other partner, and give less in return.

#7 Monosyllables.  
Don’t answer in monosyllables in the middle of a conversation. Period. Answering with a ‘yes’, ‘no’ or an ‘hmmm’ is just a rude thing to do, even if you’re pretending to be concentrating on something else.
When your partner tries to communicate with you, try to answer back in open ended questions. It’ll help both of you interact better and understand each other better. You need to remember that conversations with monosyllables usually end up dead in a minute or two, and over a period of time, your monosyllabic answers would just push both of you apart.

#8 Don’t be a brat. 
Do you constantly like having things your way? It could be as silly as watching a genre of movies you enjoy or dining out at places that you like. Your partner may find your tantrums cute to begin with, but if you always want things your own way, there will come a time very soon when your partner would snap and just hate everything you like because they’re so sick of it!

#9 Making a scene in public.  
Don’t yell at your partner or humiliate them in public or when someone else is around. Your frustrations may be valid and you may have every good reason to accuse your partner of something, or walk away from them. But ridiculing your partner or hurting them in public will do a lot of damage to their ego, and that’s something that won’t heal very soon.

#10 You lie. 
For the silliest of reasons! And you just can’t help yourself. You may be lying to your partner because you’re afraid of their temper, or because you don’t want to appear weak in front of them. The reasons could be several, but the end result is almost always the same. Lies affect relationships negatively, and will lead to loss of trust. Stop lying and learn to confront the truth, you’ll have a much better life.

#11 “I don’t want to talk about it!”
Avoiding discussions, especially if it’s stressful may seem like the easy thing to do at a particular moment. But stuffing all the difficult conversations in some dark corner will only leave you more stressed, and leave your partner frustrated and angry. As difficult as a particular decision or a relationship conversation may be, you can solve it only by talking about it with your lover. Remember, every journey of a thousand miles starts with a single step.

#12 You get irritated easily.
Do you find yourself getting irritated with your partner now and then, and have no idea why you feel that way? In all probability, there’s a subtle reason behind why you’re annoyed with your partner. So instead of snapping at them or behaving in an irritable manner, sit down and ask yourself why you’re feeling annoyed. Or better yet, tell your partner that you feel annoyed, but can’t figure out why you’re feeling that way. Believe me, you’ll feel a lot better almost the very second you say that to your lover!

#13 Every moment is together time.
Do you spend every waking moment *other than work* with each other? You could scoff at other couples who do things individually and believe you’re the better couple because both of you do everything together. But in reality, doing every single thing together can do more harm than good because it stops both of you from having your own individual lives.

#14 You don’t compliment enough.  
When was the last time you complimented your partner when they dressed up for you? As the years go by, it’s easy to overlook the little things that your lover does that makes them awesome and take it for granted. Compliment your partner often and let them see that you still admire them, and are awed and smitten by them.

#15 Time for friends. 
Do you subconsciously nag your partner or get annoyed with them when they leave you alone and go out with their own friends? This is pretty common, and there’s a good chance you feel it if your partner has more friends than you do or if you’re a loner. But remember, hanging out with friends now and then isn’t all bad. It gives both of you the kind of space you both need to grow as individuals.

#16 You don’t discuss the future. 
Firstly, do both of you have common goals for the future? Most couples don’t talk about the future at all, and when it comes to making a decision, you may feel like you got the short end of the stick.
Don’t avoid discussing about the future just because both of you have contrasting opinions. It’ll only push both of you further away. Communicate with each other and try reasoning the differences out. As hard as it may seem, it’s always better than avoiding confrontations in love.

Kissing on the First Date – Is that a Yes or a No?

Kissing on the first date isn’t wrong. But it isn’t always right either. Puckering your lips up for a smooch depends more on these circumstances.

Let’s face it.
Most guys want to kiss the girl on the first date.
And most girls, well, they’re confused about this big question, to kiss or not to kiss on a first date.
A kiss is an intimate expression of affection.
It seals an invisible bond, and signifies that both of you are now intimately involved with each other.
And it also takes the budding relationship forward into the next stage *whether you’re ready for it or not*.
After all, you can’t take the kiss back, can you?

Guys and that first kiss
Every time a guy dates a girl, he wants to know whether he’s made a really good impression on the girl.
He’d want to believe that the girl has had a wonderful time with him, and is head over heels in love with him already!
If he has to allow himself to fall in love with her, he wants to see a convincing sign that she likes him.
He may like the girl a lot and may be totally infatuated by her, but he’d always be hesitant to fall head over heels in love with her until he can get a big sign of affection in return.
Guys sow their wild oats at every instance they get, and they want to know immediately if there’s a potential to get together with the girl to evaluate whether they’re ready for a commitment with that girl.
Girls and that first kiss
Now girls aren’t very different from guys when it comes to that first date. When a girl goes on a date with a guy, she’d want to see a happy sign that the guy is enjoying himself on the date. And even more so, she’d want to see a big sign that proves that the guy likes her a lot!
But here comes the tricky part, that plays the big difference between men and women, and that first kiss on the first date.
A guy likes to sow, while a girl likes to take it slow. Evolutionally speaking, a man can prepare himself for sex and procreation every few hours, whereas a woman takes nine months to conceive and be ready for procreation again.
It’s this evolutionary fact that subconsciously makes a woman take time to decide if a man is worth the effort and the time. So the harder the man woos and pursues a woman *to prove just how awesome he is!*, the sooner the girl would fall in love with him and show her appreciation for him in return.
Is a kiss on the first date that big a deal?
Kissing on a first date can feel really good, but at the same time, there’s no going back from the first kiss. It may leave one or both of you wondering if things are going too fast. You may wonder if you actually like the person you dated, or was that kiss an accidental mistake that you come to regret.
You need to remember that many people may not be comfortable with the idea of kissing someone they’ve been with only for a few hours. Of course, if you’re living in a big city where life is fast paced and people don’t have time to take it slow and easy, you may see that kissing on the first date is more of a norm than an awkward thing to do at the end of the date.
But generally, even if there was a great potential of a perfect romance, that first kiss could complicate things and make you hasty, because you’d want to judge this person as a potential partner even before you get to know them well.
On the other hand, some guys or girls you date could see the first kiss on the first date as a sign of commitment! And they may start behaving like your partner on the very next date, which can make things so darn awkward, especially if they still feel like a stranger to you. Or it could get worse if they’re expecting another kiss or something more on the second date because you kissed them on the first date!
When is it okay to kiss on the first date?
Kissing on a first date isn’t bad. But it all depends on just how comfortable you are with the idea. Here are a few circumstances when a first kiss is completely acceptable.
#1 The sexual chemistry is intense. You can’t wait to make out with this person. And your date is having a hard time keeping their hands off you too!
#2 Mutual attraction. Both of you have been attracted to each other for a while before getting together on the date.
#3 You like your date. 
You’re on the date, and at some point during the date, you realize you actually like this person.
 #4 The perfect date. It’s a real date that’s lasted long into the night, and both of you have been really touchy feely the whole while.
#5 I’m not seeing you again! You’re on a date with a gorgeous person. You like them, but you just don’t feel the chemistry. You think the person is nice, but there’s nothing in common and you don’t intend on dating them again. You might as well just kiss the person and get the what-if over with.

When is it acceptable to not kiss on the first date?
While a kiss on the first date is perfectly acceptable, there are a few instances when it can just feel awkward and scripted. Here are a few reasons why you could skip the kiss on the date.
#1 It’s only been a few hours.
 You’re still getting to know your date, and you really don’t like kissing strangers.
#2 You don’t think you’ll date them. 
You’re not sure you want to date this person again, and you really have no interest in kissing someone you don’t find fascinating.
#3 Scripted kiss. 
There’s just too much pressure on that kiss at the end of the date. It’s killing the mood and you can’t concentrate on your date because you’re constantly thinking of that kiss. You may find it easier to just avoid kissing on the first date so you can enjoy the date instead of feeling stressed out.
#4 Your date is warm, but not ready. 
Your date seems to be enjoying your company and they seem to like you. But they’re not showing any real signs that they want to pucker up at some point at the end of the date.
#5 You just don’t feel like it. 
This could happen at times. You like your date and really want to see them again, but you don’t feel like kissing them. You probably want that first kiss to feel special and the moment just doesn’t seem right.

The first kiss and the fear of rejection
Many people live by the code that they don’t kiss on a first date, however well the date goes. For a few others, a kiss at the end of the first date feels rather scripted and expected, which can kill the romance and spontaneity of a perfect kiss.
A few girls would think the guy is sweet if he waits for more than just one date before planting a kiss. On the other hand, a few other girls may assume a guy’s weird or uninterested if he doesn’t try puckering up before the end of the date.
And guys, well, they’d just be confused about what to do! But usually, a guy who sees a serious romantic potential in his date may prefer to stay away from the kiss on the first date unless he sees a sign from the girl. It’s the gentlemanly thing to do, and it’s a lot safer than being rejected by someone he really wants to impress.
Girls, if you do want the guy to kiss you, give him a few subtle signs so he can get the hint.
And guys, work your magic and help your date feel more comfortable during the date. And if she likes you, chances are, she’d want your kiss before the end of the night.
Testing the water to avoid that awkward feeling
There are so many kinds of daters in the world, and you can’t really tell who’s stingy and who’s generous with their first kiss. So take it easy, don’t script any kisses into the first date and go with the flow. If you really like your date and intend to kiss them *but you don’t see any signs of reciprocation from your date*, wait until the end of the date.
As you sit in the car or stand outside their door during that final goodbye, move in closer to hug your date, and plant a soft kiss on their cheek. And as you do that, don’t move away. Just stay close for a few seconds and see if your date reciprocates by bringing their face closer to yours.
If your date moves away after that hug and the kiss on the cheek, well, better luck next time. But if your date comes closer, well, move in for that kiss because that’s what your date wants too!

11 Super Smooth Ways to Flirt with Someone Online

If face to face flirtation isn’t your forte, you can trust technology to have your back! Here are some ways to get your crush’s attention online.

 

You want to be subtle with the way you show your feelings, but at the same time, you also want to start dropping hints at how much you adore your crush. You already have them as your contact in social media, but you’re not quite sure how to approach them online without pushing them to block you for good.
The good news is that social media gives you some semblance of privacy. Thus, if your crush doesn’t reciprocate your feelings, the people around you won’t be the audience to your humiliation. And if the rejection stings like acid to a new wound, you can always choose to erase all your interactions and unfollow your crush.
How you can flirt online
Ready to get your crush swooning over your sweet messages and subtle hints? Try out these tips.

#1 Take note of what your crush was wearing or doing, without being obvious about it.  
When you see your crush, acknowledging their presence with a “hi” or a smile would suffice. But when you get the chance to go online, send them a message and comment on what they were doing when you saw them.
You can go for a compliment like, “Hey, I really like your band shirt. Where’d you get it?” You can also opt for the charmer’s route by saying, “I saw you down your coffee like it was water. Staying up for the exams?” These statements let your crush know that you were paying more attention to them than you initially let on.

#2 Check out what shows, movies and music your crush is into, and keep them updated. 
 A simple Google search can help you find out the latest news about your crush’s interests. For instance, if they’re into a certain band, you can mention that they’ll be playing at a local venue this week. If your crush is in love with a certain celebrity, send your crush a photo that they might have missed on their online stalking binges.
If your crush is into certain TV shows, however, make sure you’re not the jerk who suddenly spouts out a bunch of spoilers. People are very touchy about spoilers, and you can never be too careful!

#3 Be careful with the likes.
 Sure, you can creep your crush out and like everything they’ve posted since they got on Facebook. But the best route when it comes to the likes is picking only a few posts, so as not to flood their notifications feed.
Liking all the photos may make you seem utterly friendly or downright stalker-like, while liking only selective photos will make your crush wonder why there are photos that you like and there are photos that you didn’t like. It will keep your crush on their toes and make it seem like a guessing game.

#4 Don’t be afraid to leave a comment. 
 Do not comment on how good looking your crush is, but instead, comment on what they are doing. Pick up on the finer details of their photos and ask them something like, “Is that at Starbucks?” or “I have the same exact phone case!”
Comment something that will warrant a reply from them and not just a thank you. Interacting more with your crush is better than just simply worshipping them. You can even start a friendly little teasing fest there, as long as you’re aware of whether you’re going overboard.

#5 Leave an air of mystery to get your crush hooked. 
 If your crush messages you, curb the temptation to go on a reply rampage and take a deep, deliberate breath. You can seenzone them for a couple of minutes, and then think of an apt reply to send them. By doing this, you’re preventing yourself from looking too eager.
But don’t rely on the speed of your reply alone. Answer some of their questions vaguely. If they ask what you’re up to tonight, don’t give them detailed instructions to get to the bar you’ll be hanging out in! Instead, tell them that you’ll be out. Then wait for a reply. Then go in for the kill and hint that they’d be welcome to join you. Smooth!

#6 Tag away at your photos together! 
 Do not be shy to let the whole world know that you have spent time with your crush before. Let his friends and your friends know that you two go way back.
Even if these are new photos, tag them, and let everyone know that you two are spending time with each other. It’s not that you’re outright being possessive, as it’s just a photo. But it’s a subtle reminder to both, your crush and to the rest of the world, that the two of you are having fun together. Let the jealous be jealous!
#7 Make your crush the center of your status update.
  But for the love of all that is glorious, do not tag them! Instead, make it pretty obvious that you’re referring to something you and your crush talked about or something you did together.
For instance, you can post a quote that you and your crush discussed earlier. Or you can post a link to a site that completely proves that you were right about something you had a debate about. You can even post a YouTube video of a song that was playing when you were hanging out.
#8 Don’t be afraid of having opposite opinions. 
 Opposite opinions is fuel for more interesting conversations with your crush. For example, you might be totally into Game of Thrones, but your crush is pro-Lannister, whereas you are pro-Baratheon.
Point this out, and make a sensible, fact-filled argument as to why Baratheons are better than Lannisters. This is sure to lead to a friendly debate, and in the end, you can be the charmer who lets your crush win… Or you can casually suggest to agree to disagree.
#9 Be everywhere.
  And by everywhere, it means be in all of your crush’s social media profiles. Keep yourself updated of everything, and make sure that you alternate replying to your crush. If today you sent your crush an e-mail, tomorrow you should ensure that you tweet a reply. And then the next day like their photo on Instagram, and so on.
This keeps you on their mind, and practically embeds you into their subconscious. Just remember to message them sparingly, so as not to flood your crush with declarations of love and admiration.

#10 Be there, but not really. 
 Miss your crush on purpose. Yes, you read that right. When your crush checks into a place, show up at a time when you’re sure that they’ve already left. Then make a post that clearly shows you were at the same exact place your crush was.
This might get your crush to react and say that they missed you by a couple of hours, and you can say something like they should have texted you. If your crush doesn’t react, your common friends just might come to the conclusion that you were there together, and they might start teasing you both. It might just be the perfect push to make your crush think that you might be good for each other.

Awful Dating Habits that Are Keeping You Single

Are you single and hating it? Do you wonder why and how some people find love so easily, whereas it’s taking you forever to find your soulmate?

 

We have all walked past mismatched couples in the street and thought, “How the hell did she score a guy like that?” or thought nasty thoughts like, “She’s with him because he’s loaded.” Don’t even bother denying it. That’s what humans do best. We question, we complain, we compare.
We have all been in loveless slumps. This is when everyone around us seems to be bursting with joy in their relationships, and we end up sitting at home all alone, raking our brains and trying to figure out why we’re single. You may think that you’re absolutely divine, but what you think you’re projecting to the world and what you are actually projecting may be two different things.
This could explain why you’re still single. More often than not, your single status has to do with your attitude, not so much what you look like or what you do for a living. Too many people focus on the materialistic stuff and not what really counts, so when it’s time for them to go on the prowl for a potential mate, they fail miserably, and come home empty-handed.
People are wiser and less naïve than they were back then. The fact that people are dating more before settling down gives them the chance to sample what’s out there. This builds experience, and this is how your potential partner can smell bullshit, or desperation, or really low self-esteem, or a bad attitude from a mile away. No matter how many layers of nice clothes you wear or how fancy your car is, you can still be single if you don’t get rid of some bad habits.
What are you doing to keep yourself single?
Here are 10 things you may be doing to sabotage your odds of finding true love in the dating world.

#1 You think you’re not good enough.
 If you have been single for a while, there’s a very good chance that you have this awful habit of telling yourself that you’re not good enough for that cute barista, for that hot accountant at work, for the gym instructor with the abs of steel, or for anyone else, for that matter. If you think you’re not good enough, then every potential partner who comes your way will think that you’re not good enough, too.
Confidence is key when trying to score a mate, so be sure to exude it from every pore. It doesn’t matter if you’re not the sexiest, if you’re not the funniest, if you’re not the smartest, or if you’re not the best-looking person in the room. All that counts is how confident you are about how you look and feel. It will shine through, and you will be the flame that all the moths are drawn to.

#2 You think you don’t deserve a relationship.
 You’ll be surprised at how superstitious some people can be. I have a friend who blames karma for being single. She thinks she doesn’t deserve a good relationship because she treated her last boyfriend like dirt. Hence, the universe is retaliating by keeping her single as punishment.
I’ve never heard so much horse crap in my life, and I straight up told her so. Of course she got offended, but hopefully, that snapped her out of her silly mindset.

#3 You think you’re not ready.
 You need to stop telling yourself that you’re not ready for a relationship. By constantly telling yourself that, you’re just messing with your mind and turning that nonsensical thought into reality. I will be the first to admit that digging yourself out of the darkness after a hard breakup is very difficult. However, you must relearn how to put yourself out there, and leave the past behind.
Heartbreak sucks, but you cannot let it hold you back from finding someone new. If you keep clinging on to the past, you will never experience a brand new future.

#4 You’re obsessed with timing. 
 I personally think that people who use “timing” as an excuse for not getting into a relationship are kidding themselves. There’s no such thing as “the right time.” There are some exceptions, of course, and they include still being married, being bankrupt, or dealing with mental issues. Anything other than those signifies cowardice.
Life is short, and you don’t know if you’ll even have tomorrow to play with. It’s all about ups and downs, and there will never be a time when everything is absolutely perfect. If perfection is what you’re waiting for, then you’ll be single forever. Stop hesitating when it comes to matters of the heart because if you don’t jump in, you’ll never know just how great it could be.

#5 You’re a gossip monger.
As the saying goes, “What Susie says of Sally says more of Susie than of Sally.” No one wants to date someone with a big mouth and bad attitude, so be sure to vanquish that habit today. Keep your life and the lives of those around you drama-free, and you’ll find that potential partners will be more eager to date you.

#6 You’re too picky.
Stop finding fault with everything and everyone. Being a high maintenance diva is not a good look on you or on anyone else, for that matter. If you’re picky, you’re going to drive some real gems away. Finding fault in everything and everyone will only work against you. For example, if you complain about how he dresses or what she does for a living, you can rest assured that you’ll be single for a long time. No one will be good enough for you if you don’t let the little things go.

#7 You have impossible expectations. 
 Sure, everyone wants to date a Ryan Gosling or Cara Delevigne, but that’s not going to happen. Snap back to reality, and stop envisioning the impossible. So what if he’s a little soft around the edges? He has a good heart, and he will always be kind to you. So what if she talks too loudly in restaurants? She’s funny and makes you laugh.
There’s nothing wrong with setting standards for yourself, but you need to seriously keep your expectations realistic if you don’t want to be single for the rest of your days.

#8 You don’t know what you want.  
Life is for the living, and there’s no point in wasting it by blindly making your way through life. Set clear goals for yourself, and figure out what you want. Do you want to be with someone who wants to live a nomadic life of travel and adventure? Do you want to settle down with someone who wants a family? Are you keen on dating someone who’s fine with an open relationship? Do you only want a “fun buddy?” Sort out what you want, and the rest will come easy.

#9 You’re unhappy with yourself.  
If you’re unhappy with yourself, you have to realize that it is obvious to those around you, including potential lovers. It shows in the way you act, talk, and walk. Who do you think potential dates are going to flock to at a party: the one sitting with hunched shoulders in the corner or the one smiling and dancing on the dance floor?
Unless you can learn to love yourself and be confident with who you are, you will never be able to fully love another. Potential partners can sense that, and trust me when I say that no one wants the drama of having to deal with your emotional baggage.

#10 You reek of desperation.  
It’s obvious in the way you interact with potential partners, and you can be sure that desperation stinks way more than sour milk. Reign your desperation in, and act like you could have the pick of anyone in the room. If you truly believe that, then everyone else will too, and you’ll find it much simpler to score a date.

14 Common Reasons Why Relationships Fail Often

Why does love fall apart for the silliest of reasons? Read these 14 common reasons why relationships fail, and learn to fix them before it’s too late.

 

Relationships fail often.
It’s a fact of life.
You’d be hard-pressed to find two people who were each other’s first love and they loved each other until death.
That’s the stuff you find in many viral news stories.
And the reason these stories of perfect couples become so popular is because it’s what so many people aspire to be.
The problem, though, is that some people learn that their relationships are headed for failure, and they learn it the hard way.
So if you’re aiming for a relationship that’s practically fail-proof, you’d have to know some of the reasons why so many relationships end badly.

14 common reasons why relationships fail so often
Take note that the failure of a relationship can be attributed to one or a combination of the following factors.
So if you find that your relationship is facing these problems, it may be best to try and work it out so it doesn’t ruin the hard work you’ve put into your relationship.


#1 Relying on your partner for your happiness.
 This is common among people who have either low self-esteem or have very few good things going on in their life. The problem with this is that it may put too much pressure on your partner. How? It will always feel like your partner has such a huge role in your life, and that without him/her, you’d be a miserable heap of tears. This kind of dependence is not healthy in any kind of relationship!

#2 Not standing up for yourself. 
 There may be times when you forego your own desires so you can make your partner happy. This is called a sacrifice.
But if you keep doing this and your partner learns that they can easily ignore your wants, you’ll start to feel your sacrifice taking its toll on you. One day, you might wake up and feel so used that you end up snapping and breaking up with your partner. 

#3 Too much dominance. 
 This is the opposite of sacrificing too much. Instead, you expect your partner to be at your beck and call, or else, they will be sorry! Instead of fostering a relationship based on love and trust, you’re instilling fear into your partner.
What this does is force your partner to be miserable and helpless or it can lead them to lie, sneak around or even find someone else’s shoulder or bed just to avoid your wrath and their misery.
#4 There’s too much jealousy going on.
 If you’re the one who’s jealous, you’re probably always going to be snooping around to check if your partner is faithful to you. Just one instance of you seeing them chatting with someone whom you consider a threat, and you’ll unleash a barrage of accusations.
On the other hand, if your partner is the jealous one, you may find yourself sacrificing your happiness just so you don’t get hit with the barrage of accusations.

#5 Selfishness.
Selfishness in both of you will lead to a tug-of-war for who gets the final say in things. You can’t always get what you want, and neither can your partner. If neither of you are willing to compromise to make your relationship work, then you can both find someone who’ll be more accommodating to your every want and need. Good luck with that!

#6 Nitpicking each other’s faults.
Honesty matters in a relationship. But being too blunt about your partner’s faults all the time may make them feel they’re always under your constant scrutiny. Not only will you slowly pick at their self-esteem, but you might also push them towards the arms of someone who’s much more accepting of their faults.
#7 Lack of time. Even if you both have a busy lifestyle, you still need to set aside time for each other just to keep the relationship going. A five-minute phone call or a text exchange may be enough to let you work through a time when you’re too busy for anything.
If you don’t spare even a few minutes for your partner, neglect starts and that will definitely eat away at your relationship.

#8 Lack of effort.
 So maybe you have tons of time to spend with each other, it should be no problem, right? Wrong. In fact, if you have lots of time, but very little quality time, this can lead both of you to take each other’s presence for granted. The effort here is to make each date together count through little sweet gestures or bringing something new to the conversation, whatever both of you are into.
Exerting a little something extra from time to time shows your partner that you would still go the extra mile, no matter how long you’ve been dating. In not doing this, you’ll slowly make your relationship more mundane until you just give up.

#9 Physical distance.
 There’s nothing wrong with having a long distance relationship. In fact, some relationships are tested and made stronger by the physical distance. However, the distance can bring about problems such as a lack of time for each other or lack of physical intimacy.
Unless you make an effort so you can finally be in the same zip code, these relationships usually break under the strain.

#10 Emotional distance. When you’re emotionally incompatible *i.e., one of you is more open while the other is withdrawn*, this can lead to a lot of unmet emotional needs. While two people are never 100% on the same page, it’s important to at least be on a somewhat similar level of emotional availability.
If one of you is aloof and the other is needy, then this imbalance can cause friction and resentment in the one who’s exerting more effort to feel more loved in return.
#11 Little lies that build up. 
 A couple of white lies at the start of your relationship can be common. Of course, you want to put your best foot forward. But it’s also important to eventually come clean or at least try to prevent the lies in the first place.
When these lies build up, it might spiral into a web of lies that you can no longer get out of. It’ll be a huge form of deception, even if it all just started from one little white lie.

#12 Different goals.
 When you get deeper into a relationship, you may find out that you and your partner may have different goals for the future. One of you may want to focus on your career, while the other would like to start a family soon. This can lead to conflict when it comes to making big decisions in your life. If left without compromise, the rift in your desires may end up causing a rift between the two of you.

#13 Emotional baggage.
 It goes without saying that baggage will always affect your relationship. Unless you learn to deal with it in a healthy way, it will manifest itself in your relationship from time to time. In addition to this, the fact that your partner can’t help you deal with your baggage can lead them to see their own inadequacy, and may then affect how they acts towards you.
#14 Lack of positive support from friends or family.  
You’re not in a relationship with your partner’s friends and family. But they are somewhat responsible for who your partner is. Whenever you have a fight, it’s easy for either of you to run to your respective loved ones *friends and family* to bitch about what happened.
However, if they’re not supportive of your relationship, they can end up giving love advice that ends with “just break up!” And you, in your state of vulnerability, might end up agreeing with them.

You may notice that big issues like infidelity and abuse have been left out of the reasons. This is because those reasons are a fairly obvious cause for a failed relationship.
The common reasons mentioned here are the little reasons that many may not notice up until it becomes unbearable. But they can build up and cause conflicts that will cause your entire relationship to unravel, even before either of you notice it!

Reasons Why You Shouldn’t Give Your Ex Another Chance

Should you? Shouldn’t you? Confused over whether you should give your ex another chance? Give these 10 reasons a thought, and you’ll know for sure!

 

Should you really get back with your ex when they try to weasel their way back into your life?
Simply put, probably not.
But then again, not every failed relationship can be categorized into a bad break up, just because circumstances forced the romance to end.
There are a number of reasons why you and your ex broke up in the first place.
Whether it be differing life goals, incompatible sex lives, or an unwillingness to meet each other’s needs and wants, there was something that came in between the two of you as a couple.

Should you give your ex another chance?
As much as some people want to ignore that plain truth, and try again, the best idea is to leave the past where it belongs, behind you.
Instead, you should take what you can from the experience and move on.
Here are 10 reasons why you should most likely not give your ex another chance. If your ex can convince you otherwise, or if you truly believe things have changed for the better *the odds are always very, very slim*, perhaps you could give them another chance.
But remember, when you get back with an ex, as good as it may feel, there’s a bigger chance that another heartbreak’s just around the corner all over again.

#1 Your ex probably hasn’t changed.
 People can be amazing talkers. But saying something, and actually doing it, are two completely different things. So if you’re hearing a lot of talk from your ex about how much they have changed, look for the proof.
Actions speak louder than words. So if your ex is expressing to you, for example, how trustworthy they have become, pay attention to how they behave when they explain themselves to you. Is their behavior and attitude trustworthy? Or, are they screening messages, and skipping around lofty details about what they’ve been up to recently?
Bottom line, if what your ex is doing isn’t lining up with what they are saying, they probably haven’t changed. If this is the case, then you most likely shouldn’t give them another chance. They obviously haven’t changed very much since your initial break up.

#2 There’s a good chance you are headed for the same problems.  
This is closely related to the earlier pointer. There’s a good chance that if your ex hasn’t changed, you are going to run into the same problems all over again.
Similar patterns are bound to reoccur if you have one individual coming into the partnership as the same person that left it. If you ex didn’t learn anything from your last relationship together, and didn’t take the time to grow as a person, and a partner, odds are you are going to have some of the same issues as the last time around.
Say, for instance, in your first relationship with each other your ex was constantly complaining about their unfortunate job situation, and refused to do anything about it. If your ex has the same job, or still refuses to actively change their future, you are going to encounter the same frustrations.
If your ex hasn’t progressed as an individual, and especially if you have, you are bound to run into similar problems in your relationship if you try again. It’s better not to relive past irritations by giving your ex another chance.

#3 Your friends might abandon you.  
This is especially dependent on the number of chances you have given your ex already. Remember that your friends often are the ones hearing all of the horrible things about your ex during, and after, your relationship.
You friends will most likely try and talk you out of giving your ex another chance, especially if they realize that your ex doesn’t deserve you. If you ignore their honest advice and go ahead and take back your ex, your friends are going to be upset.
It’s only in extreme cases that your friends may actually abandon you. More often, abandonment happens when you are giving your ex a fourth or fifth chance to show you that “things will be different”. You should trust your friends’ judgments, they know you and have stayed with you through your relationships and know what is okay and what is not.

#4 You will have to explain to your family why your ex is back in the picture. 
 This can be particularly awkward if you had a rather nasty break-up and/or your family was fairly close to your ex. They will likely know the reasons why you broke up in the first place, and probably hold a grudge against your ex.
Of course, because you are their family, you could really do no wrong. So, even if your break-up was mutual, or you were equally to blame, your family won’t see it that way.
If you give your ex another chance, your ex will ultimately have a lot of making up to do, and if your family doesn’t accept it, your relationship is going to be difficult for a whole different set of reasons.

And if your ex truly deserves a second chance, your family and friends will see this and support you. But, they might still give you a hard time at first.

#5 They have new, and more disgusting and annoying habits.
 When we love someone, we tend to let them off the hook for their nasty and irritating habits that otherwise would make us silently heave *carrying around a nail clipper as a key chain, or constantly forgetting to flush the toilet*. I don’t know what weird habits your exes have, but I’m sure they are many.
Well, these little habits could have gotten worse, or weirder with time. Or perhaps, you never noticed them in your first relationship, and now you find yourself being introduced to a number of shocking and appalling behaviors you would rather live without.

#6 Your relationship might get too comfortable, too soon. Getting comfortable too soon can relate to the particular habits discussed in #5 being revealed far too early, or a number of different things. As you’ve dated your ex before, they might automatically assume that means that you pick up the relationship where you left off.
Dirty laundry on the floor, dishes in the sink, or non-existent date nights all over again. Whatever it may be that angered you in the first relationship could start happening much sooner the second *or third, etc.* time both of you get back together.
If you do give your ex another chance, you might want to make it clear from the start that you are going to need a clean slate, and that means that you will have to take the time to get to know each other again in terms of your new relationship. If you’re honest in the beginning that things need to change, then hopefully your ex won’t get too comfortable too soon!

#7 Your ex might have new baggage.
  This can be a major reason to think twice about giving your ex another chance. Depending on how long it’s been since the two of you have broken up, or how well you’ve kept in touch, your ex might have acquired a whole new set of baggage while you were apart.
New baggage can come in many forms such as a loss, depression, a change in career *or no career at all*, family issues, physical health problems, or another relationship.
And if your ex has been dating someone else since your last breakup, there could very well be a new ex in the picture. And it’s not easy to date your ex if they’ve just come out of a relationship with their own ex, especially if their ex is persistent to stay in your ex’s life!
If it was a serious relationship, you might find that your ex is thinking of them often, instead of focusing on building your new relationship. How far you want to get into dealing with this new baggage depends on your commitment to your ex, and your new relationship together.

#8 They still aren’t willing to meet your needs and wants.
If you ex isn’t willing to meet your needs and wants, or to comprise, so that each of you is content and happy in your relationship, you should not think of giving them another chance. Identifying and living up to your partner’s basic needs and wants is a crucial part in any healthy relationship.
Your ex probably wasn’t meeting your needs and wants in your first relationship, or else, you wouldn’t have broken up. So this time around, you must make it very clear what you expect from your ex. And they should be willing to deliver.

#9 The sex is just different.
 If you’ve been apart a long time, experimenting and growing sexually in the meantime, perhaps the sex with your ex is just not going to hit that spot. If you’ve grown as an individual, not just emotionally but sexually too, you might have troubles adjusting your sex life with your ex.
If you are going to try again, you definitely need to be honest with your ex if the sex is not working for you. If you don’t feel like you can be honest, and you need to change it up as a couple, then you’re definitely not ready to be together again.
#10 You still want very different things. 
 If your life goals and dreams do not line up with your ex’s aspirations, you will most likely run into problems if you decide to give them another chance. When you are sharing your life with someone, you need to be on the same page, or at least the same book.
In order to fully support each other, both of you need to understand each other’s goals and dreams and help each other achieve them. If your ex isn’t supportive of your life goals, whether they be career, family or personal, you should not give your ex another chance.

Definitely think twice before giving your ex another chance
There are many reasons why you probably shouldn’t take your ex back. Your relationship ended because something wasn’t right, and the probability of that changing is often slim because most people are unwilling to change.
So, unless that reason you broke up with your ex was due to an unmistakable stroke of bad luck related to time and place, then no, you should not give your ex another chance.

If you’re hoping that a few changes, and a lot of compromises, can fix things to the way it once was, stop it. You are only prolonging what will eventually happen – a final break-up.
Once you leave behind the past relationship that was hurting you, or holding you back, you will be able to move forward to better things, which will be fulfilling and full of happiness.

The Step-by-Step Guide to Get Your Ex to Love You Again

Though they say that getting back with your ex is a bad idea, there are still instances when you just can’t let them go, no matter how hard you try.

 

As a word of warning to all our readers, looking to get back together with your ex needs a lot of careful consideration. After all, there is a reason you broke up in the first place. However, there’s no denying the attraction for someone you’ve once loved and may still love.
Do you miss how your ex would always make you laugh? Do you miss the warmth of your ex’s embrace? Do you long for those hours you spent talking about sweet nothings? Do your friends and family ever seem to wistfully ask why it never worked out between you two? Do you honestly believe, with all your heart, that getting back together with your ex is a perfectly sane and reasonable thing to do?

How to get your ex back
If you’ve answered “yes” to all the questions above, here’s how you can try to get back into your ex’s loving arms. Once you’ve made up your mind to try and give it another shot with a past love, you can follow these steps to ensure that you do it right.

#1 Start off with an apology.  
This would only apply if the wound of your breakup is still pretty recent. Breakups are a two-way thing. Even if it was caused by your ex, there’s still a possibility that you let go of words that you wish you could take back. To ease you back into your ex’s good graces, it’s always a good idea to apologize for the things you may have said and done to contribute to the demise of your relationship.
Be as sincere as you can be, and if possible, try to do this in person. The fact that your ex seems interested in talking to you may be a sign that there’s a possibility that they will take you back. Who knows, you might even reconcile right then and there!

#2 If the breakup isn’t recent, send your ex a text or a private message.
 Calling or just showing up at your ex’s place may be too forward and too confrontational. It might make your ex completely defensive and just shoot you down. Instead, it’s better if you send a message, just to give your ex some time to think of whether to reply or not.
If your ex replies amicably enough, then great! If not, don’t take it too personally. Your ex might be suspicious of your message. Try to send another message at another time, and keep your fingers crossed that you’ll get a response. If after about three messages spanning over the course of a week or two you still get no response, there’s a huge chance that getting back together is out of the question.

#3 Ask your ex out over the phone.
Once you get to messaging each other on a more or less regular basis, give your ex a call. It’s up to you if you want your ex to hear just how smitten you still are with hearing their voice. After the preliminary chitchat, ask your ex to hang out with you, even if it’s just as friends.
Yes, it may be deceptive to tell your ex that it’s just as friends, but immediately confessing that you’re still attracted to them might take your ex by surprise. The key here is going through the motions slowly, but surely. Also, make sure that the date has a very casual feel to it. Avoid any romantic settings. If possible, have the “friendly date” in a coffee shop or a restaurant during daylight hours.
 

#4 Reconnect with your ex’s friends.
Once you’re back to hanging out with each other, it may also be a good idea to get back in touch with your ex’s friends and family. Don’t act like your breakup never happened. Instead, act like someone who has been away for a while, but would just like to catch up. Keep your cool, and don’t act all possessive.
One of the key ways you can try to get back with your ex is by getting to their friends. Your ex may be persuaded by a friend who seems to think that you’ve changed for the better or that a second try might do you both good.

#5 Reminisce about the good times.
When you’re on your third date, or maybe even on your first, if you want to take it fast, you might want to bring up your old relationship. The way your ex responds to this prompt depends on how your relationship was. Their reaction actually clues you in on your chances of getting back together.
If they recall the good old days, they might still see you as someone they can fall back in love with. On the other hand, if your ex seems to see your relationship as a waste of time or a very trying phase in their life, then you need to work on convincing your ex that it won’t be like that the second time around.

#6 Show your ex how much you’ve changed. If you’re still the same person whom your ex decided to leave, then asking for them to take you back is like asking them to go through the pointless motions all over again. You can do this by highlighting some of the things that you’ve changed for the better.
For instance, you may show signs that you’re now more sensitive to their feelings by showing empathy. You may tell your ex that you’ve decided to join a program for controlling bad habits like smoking, drinking, gambling or even anger issues. You can also talk about how you’ve decided to pursue a career. This can then make your ex consider that giving you a second chance might not be such a bad idea. [Read: How to recreate your sexual chemistry with your ex]
#7 Try to woo your ex again. Even if you show your ex that you’ve changed for the better, you also have to show that the parts your ex likes are still there. Look back at how you were able to catch your ex’s attention and use this to attract them a second time.
You may have met during a music event, and you can go to another one to relive the memories. Your ex may have fallen for your great taste in movies and literature, and you can regale them with stories of what you’ve seen and read. Maybe your ex fell in love with your carefree, devil may care attitude. You can show that side of you by going out on a spontaneous trip, but still keeping your responsibilities in mind.

#8 Emphasize why you want to get back together. 
 Throughout all these fun dates and subtly romantic hints, your ex might still not understand why you’re trying to win them back. It’s clear that you’re not just after a tumble in bed, but you have to make it clear that your intentions include getting back together.
This is ultimately all up to you and your own personal reasons. But one of the most effective things you might say is the fact that life just isn’t the same without your ex’s presence. You can explain how different it was and how much better it could be, if you were to reconcile.
Another reason you can state is that you’ve never been able to find anyone else who makes you feel the way your ex feels. Of course, you’ll have to own up to the fact that you have been dating other people. But you’re both adults and your ex is bound to understand.

#9 He or she is the one.
One of the many reasons people break up is because of commitment issues. Your ex may have left because they didn’t think you’d commit completely. You can change their mind by actually proposing marriage. And yes, even women can do this, but it takes a woman with a lot of guts to pull this off.
But before you start planning a huge proposal, you have to consider the odds that your ex may or may not accept it. Don’t use your proposal to pressure your ex, as this may just lead to you getting disappointed.

Why Your Ex Still Crosses Your Mind from Time to Time

You’ve gone through the motions of healing and moving on, but for some reason, your ex still lingers in your mind. What’s the deal?

 

You know deep inside your heart and soul that you are over your ex. You have made peace with the past, and you are even in a new, happy, and fulfilling relationship. But sometimes, you can’t help but wonder why, in spite of the time that already passed, you still remember your ex.
Does it mean you want your ex back? Are you secretly still hoping for another chance? Do you miss the times you shared with your ex? In all honesty, probably not. But the mere fact that your ex crosses your mind should mean something, right?
Why do you still think about your ex?
Don’t jump to conclusions and think that keeping your ex in your mind means the universe is telling you to give it another shot. There are rational explanations that don’t entail trying to get back together with your ex.

#1 You run in the same friendship circles. 
You both know the same group of people. It’s not uncommon that you and your ex have a lot of common friends. Sometimes, it is even through a common friend that couples meet. If this is the case, then you will come across your common friends in social media, and they might have status updates, photos, or tweets that would include your ex.
At that moment, you would be reminded of the past. It is normal and it doesn’t mean that you still have feelings for your ex. It just so happens that there are still people who mention your ex, thus making you think about your past together.

#2 “I used to order this dish here.”
  This was what my ex used to order every day! Do you find yourself remembering how many times you have eaten in this particular restaurant with your ex? Do you find your mind wandering into the past? Do you remember which dishes tasted the best and which ones you hated? It is all about the experience that you had with your ex in the restaurants that you have eaten in, especially if it was their favorite.
This is actually pretty normal. Remembering something your ex used to like doesn’t mean you’re still hung up on them. It just so happened that you recalled a fond memory of eating something with your ex, hence the flood of memories.

#3 “I was here almost a year ago.” 
With the ex. And now that you are back in the same place, you kind of had a flashback of what you did here with them. It’s okay for anyone to have flashbacks, especially if you have been to the same place several times and you’ve actually enjoyed your time there. Call it déjà vu. You may have been in the same spot with your ex before, but now you’re in the same spot with the person you’re currently with. Your mind just associates the place with a memory, and that’s why your mind gravitated towards thoughts of your ex. Just keep in mind that you made memories in this place before, but you can make new ones with the one you’re now with.

#4 You still see your ex everywhere. 
It’s impossible to see someone you know and not think about them to some extent. If you see your ex in your favorite deli or at your neighborhood dentist, you can’t just push thoughts of them to the back of your mind.Thinking about your ex is one thing. But thinking of them and how awesome it used to be and how great you were together is a whole different thing. If it’s just a passing thought that went through your head when you ran into your ex, think nothing of it. Your brain is just telling you that, yes, you used to date, but no, that doesn’t mean you want to date them again.

#5 The social media generation. 
 It is both a blessing and a curse that social media is this generation’s bible. First of all, you get to be connected with everyone and have updates about anyone, anywhere in the world. So when your ex posts something, you’re bound to see it, and to some extent, you think about what that post might mean to your ex.
This is almost the same as seeing a friend’s post and wondering what that post could mean to your friend. For all intents and purposes, as soon as you get over your ex, he or she is just another friend on your list, and nothing more. Thoughts about them bear the same weight as any other post from people on your list.

#6 The power of the senses. 
You know science is a bit tricky. Whenever you smell the same scent or hear the same music and there is a particular memory connected to it, you will be reminded of the same feelings you had when you heard or smelled it.
It could be the perfume that your ex used to wear, or your ex’s favorite song turned into a ringtone – anything can become a reminder of your ex. You can’t control these thoughts, because it’s just your brain reminding you of something from the past.
 
#7 These are a few of my favorite things. 
 Just because you broke up, doesn’t mean you have to return every single thing your ex gave you, right? So you’re bound to still keep a couple of gifts from your ex, not as mementos, but as regular items that you just happen to use.
When someone asks you where you got your Louis Vuitton bag or your PSP or that chipped mug that you always use, you can’t help but recall the fact that your ex gave it to you for your anniversary or your birthday or for Christmas a couple of years ago. You’re just remembering the origin of something you’re still using, and even if it involves your ex, it doesn’t mean you’re holding on to those items because you can’t let go of your ex.

#8 Heart to heart talks.
  We have particular moments where we open up to friends about our past relationships. And this happens a lot. It could either be for advising them or for sharing experiences from which you learned lessons from. One of these stories can be about what happened between you and your ex. If it is still difficult to talk about it, then you might not really be over your ex. But if you can casually talk about it without eliciting any feelings, then you’re good to go.
#9 The doppelganger.
 You were quietly making your way to work, sipping on your hot cappuccino, when you suddenly needed to stop. You see your ex about a couple of meters from you, ignoring you completely. You become annoyed because you both ended things peacefully and agreed to stay acquaintances.
Oh wait, but that’s not your ex. It’s just someone who looks exactly like them. So nobody is apparently avoiding or snubbing anyone. Carrying on means being reminded of your ex doesn’t bother you. If you dwell on the fact that you think you keep seeing your ex when they’re not there, then that may be some cause for concern.

#10 Events with the ex. 
 You used to go with your ex to usual friend and family affairs like holidays, birthdays and other forms of celebration. You no longer do, but sadly, not everyone got the memo. So when the next get-together comes, everyone is going to look for your ex. And you have a lot of explaining to do.
You can explain the absence of your ex in a polite and casual manner or you can go on an hour-long pity fest with whoever bothers to listen. If you end up doing the former, congratulations! You’re over your ex, and thinking about them shouldn’t be a big deal for you.

Signs Your Friends Are Ruining Your Relationship

Your friends may seem nice and trustworthy, but are your friends ruining your relationship? Use these traits to find out if they’re bad for your love.

Friends can be the best thing in the world.
But at times, they can be the worst too.
Do you find yourself jumping from one relationship to another all the time?
Do you think there’s something wrong with you?
Sometimes, it may not be you.
It may be your best friends who’re unknowingly messing your relationships up for you without your notice.

Are your friends ruining your relationship?
A long time ago, I saw this great girl from another college at a frat party.
I thought she was extremely cute and I really wanted to know her better.
We exchanged glances with each other all night, but she had to leave before I could make my move.
The next day, I got a note from her. One of our common friends hand delivered it to me. In the note, she mentioned that she really liked me and would like to meet me sometime.
I showed the note to my best friend, and he rubbished it immediately.
“She’s a whore, dude, she just wants to sleep around. And she doesn’t look good anyway… Forget about her, she’s just not worth it…” he said as he tore the note into bits.
I didn’t bother responding to the note, and forgot all about her.
A year later, I saw her again in another friend’s arm. She looked so stunning, I had a hard time holding my jaws shut. My friend introduced her and I found out later that he was her first boyfriend.
Apparently, she was a shy girl who never hung out with boys and was only interested in a serious relationship.
I felt like kicking myself in the head for being such a jerk and blowing her off after she worked her courage up to write me a letter.
But what I realized at the same time is how easily friends can manipulate you into walking away from perfect relationships.

Signs your friends are ruining your relationship
It may be jealousy, malice or a veiled attempt to be better than you, but sometimes even the best of friends can turn out to be real backstabbers, at least when it comes to love.
If you find yourself breaking up from seemingly perfect relationships all the time, perhaps, you need to ask yourself if your friends played a bigger part than you first imagined.
Here are 13 circumstances when your best friends could turn out to be your worst relationship nightmare.
#1 Your friends think your date’s not good enough.
Ever been here? You date someone you really like but your friends think your date’s obnoxious or ugly? At times like these, you may start wondering yourself if you’ve made the wrong choice. And once you start thinking, it’s easy to mentally turn even a perfect partner into an ugly hag.
#2 Friends who constantly want your attention. Do your friends constantly butt in when you’re hanging out with your new lover? To your friends, gate crashing your romantic date may seem like a laugh. But it can actually piss your new date off.
If your friends constantly whine about how much time you spend with your new squeeze, they’re just bored and annoyed that you’ve got something better to do. Real friends give you a choice. Bad friends only care about their own fun.
#3 Talking about past relationships. 
Past relationships are always sensitive. When you and your date are hanging out with your friends, do your friends constantly talk about your exes or about the way you used to behave around an ex just to have a laugh?

#4 Friends who want you to cheat.
Your friend may love one night stands, but they really shouldn’t be trying to convince you to do the same when you’re in a relationship. It’s easy to be manipulated by friends you trust, but sometimes you need to space yourself from these kinds of friends who don’t want your romantic relationships to evolve into something better.

#5 Friends who make you ignore your lover. 
When you’re out with your lover and your friends, do your friends constantly try to keep you occupied or try to split both of you into separate conversations?
Friends who make you ignore your lover by constantly trying to keep you engrossed in another conversation or take you to another part of the room are never good for your budding relationship.

#6 Friends who flirt with your lover.  
There are bad friends and then there are worse. Friends who flirt with your new date behind your back are the worst kind. If your friend tries to put you down, or calls up your lover and speaks for hours when you’re not around, there’s a good chance that your friend is looking for ways to break both of you up and enter the picture.

#7 They disrespect your partner. 
Do you feel like your friends ignore your new lover or treat them disrespectfully while hanging out together? If you feel it, chances are, it’s true. When your friends disrespect your date, it reflects badly on you as a lover.

#8 Your friends speak ill of you. 
 Do your friends treat you disrespectfully when you’re with your date? Your friends should help you impress your date and win a lover over, not make you look bad. If your friends put you down in front of your lover, they’re probably jealous or annoyed.

How to Heal a Broken Heart the Wicked Way

Here are five wicked things you should definitely do if you want to know how to heal a broken heart the wicked way. If you’re trying to fix a broken heart and want your revenge for all the hurt that’s been caused to you, say no more.

 

How to heal a broken heart the wicked way
Oh, you want to do this bad, don’t you? You’re humiliated and you’re pissed off, you’re sad and you’re depressed.
Heck, you’re so messed up, you really don’t know what you are anymore! And each time you see your old flame giggling or hugging another date, you may go mad over the fact that they actually overcame your love so fast.
On the other hand, you may hate them and yet find it hard to get over them, if your ex had been cheating on you.
At times like these, there are a few things you can do.
These pointers come straight from the little devil that’s hiding inside your head, and they are brutal. As long as you stay on guard and do this for the pleasure of hurting them, things will be just fine. Maybe even great!

How to heal a broken heart #1 GO REBOUND!
Most love experts are against a rebound relationship. They say that jumping into a new relationship as soon as one is over is the wrong way to find love. I’m not denying that either!
But you need some special attention for another potential to get back at your ex. If they can hook up with someone else, why can’t you? Go ahead and hook up with a sweetie and have fun. Show off your new ‘love-of-your-life’ to your ex and let them know that you really don’t give a damn about them.
Watch your ex-sweetie bristle with anger each time you wrap your hands around your new hottie, and believe me, it can feel so good! It can feel even better if it’s someone your ex lover hates.
But one word of caution, just don’t fall in love with your new mate. Use them to have fun, and don’t get too involved for your own good.

How to heal a broken heart #2 GET FLIRTY AROUND YOUR EX
Too clever to go for a rebound, or too scared that you may actually fall in love with the wrong person? Not to worry, skip that step.
Opt for wild flirting sessions with any new cutie that you meet, especially when your ex is around. Laugh and have fun, flirt like mad, and make sure your lost love sees all of this. This can give you a load of satisfaction and help heal the scar of your previous love faster than anything else.

Want to get really dirty in love? Then what better way than by seducing someone your former flame is terribly jealous of?!
Remember the cheer leader from high school that your girlfriend hates or that guy who’s got promoted instead of your boyfriend? Well, now’s your chance to make a move that will pay off in more ways than just sex. Just think, if your ex finds out you’ve been fishing in familiar waters, it will drive them to the point of hysteria. This can be quite gratifying.
But do make sure the word reaches your ex’s ears. If there is anything that hurts your ex’s ego, it’s you sleeping or getting physical with someone they’ve always been jealous of!

How to heal a broken heart #4 NO MORE SECRETS
Now let’s think, are you ever going to hook up again with someone who threw you in the dirt and stamped you all over? I think not. So what do we do about getting back?
Firstly, remember there’s no more sweet love between both of you. You hate your ex, so get back in ways that are way below the belt. She’s got hairy nipples? He’s got a prick smaller than your little finger? Then it’s time the world knows all about it!
Humans are sadistic creatures. If you want pleasure out of your miserable life, you can get that by making sure that your sweet ex feels worse than you do. That would definitely cheer you up. But do make sure you don’t have any physical abnormalities that are worse than your ex’s before you open your mouth. The idea might just backfire!
Guilt may set in after you realize how mean you’ve been or after you get over the break up, but hey, if you want revenge badly right now, you’ve got consequences to pay, in this case, a bad case of guilty conscience!

How to heal a broken heart #5 P-A-R-T-Y
Now this isn’t hard to understand, so go right ahead and party! Have fun with others when you’re ex is around, have a drink, and go crazy on the dance floor. Hook up with someone and dance with them.
Hang out with your pals, and spend more nights out having a blast. Make eye contact, flirt a lot, meet new people… do all the works, especially when your ex is around. This will definitely piss your ex off totally. Forget the fact that you’ve got a broken heart inside your chest. Hearts heal best when we’re not thinking too much about them!

Fixing a broken heart
If you want to overcome the pain, you need to do it one bit at a time, and replace the pain with happy thoughts that you collect every day, by meeting new people and doing new things.
Convince yourself that the break up was the best thing that had happened to you. Just don’t sit in a corner and mourn. Why give your ex an opportunity to show how weak you are without them? Have a laugh and have fun. Life is way too short to hide that smile off your face. You really don’t need an ex to tell you to be happy or sad in your own life, do you?

Is it Time to Break Up?

Identifying a bad mate is not easy. But as time passes, you’d be able to become a better judge. So is it time to break up? Read the hidden signs.

 

It’s never easy to recognize a wrong lover or realize if it is time to break up, especially if you’ve been in love for a while.
But if you’re in a relationship that’s causing you more pain and sleepless nights than love and happy hours, then perhaps it’s time you watch out for these silent signals that every bad lover gives away.
If you find yourself experiencing any of these signs here, it’s probably time to break up and move on.

The blind spot in love
Every time a guy and a girl get together, there’s always sparks of love, bursts of attraction and those starry-eyed moments.
And then there’s the “oooh, I’m so in love with you” times and a lot more.
In almost every relationship in the world, the start is almost always perfect.
For some, the sunny phase of infatuation could last a week, and for others, maybe even a year.
When people fall in love, they easily readjust their blind spot over the negative aspects of their new lover, until the passion of the initial phase starts to flicker.
The flicker of lost passion is gradual, and it’s hard to distinguish the difference when you’re in love.
And very soon, you may just learn to “accept” that all relationships lose the spark after a few months.
Or worse, you may even realize the fact that you’re not happy in the relationship, but you may be too afraid to walk out, because you’re still not sure if it’s time for you to break up.

Is it time to break up?
There’s something about love that all of us should remember, when your gut tries to tell you something, you have to follow it.
But if you’re not really sure if you’re stuck in a losing battle, here are a few tell tale signs that confirm the fact that it’s time to break up and walk on, without your lover by your side. See if these traits describe your relationship, and if they do, you’d be better off going your own separate ways.

In love with an ex
Talking about an ex once in a while may be a sign of your lover opening up to you. The conversation could also be mildly interesting. But a person who continuously talks about their ex has some serious issues to think about.
Now if they’re happy in love with you, why would your mate want to talk about an ex? On an occasional note, that’s not bad at all. But some people don’t understand that there’s a big difference in a passing comment and a three hour one-sided speech about an ex! One sure sign that your lover’s just using you for “love” is when they start speaking about their ex as if they were better than you, or if they start comparing you negatively.
If you’re trying to push yourself to try and be a better lover, just give that up and chuck your mate out in the dirt. Being unfairly compared on a regular basis is not something anyone in the world would want to put up with. After all, no one wants to be viewed or treated as second best, especially not with an ex!

Isolation rules
When a mate says they want to be with you all the time, of course, it makes you feel special. But as time passes by, you may find that you’re spending more time with this one person, and hardly any with your best friends or family.
A person who wants you to be around them all the time, even if you have better things to do, may just be jealous that you might have a better time with others and may want to go out again. Even if you’re having a boring time with your mate, if your mate keeps convincing you not to meet others, either by threatening you or by bad mouthing about them, then it’s time you let your mate know straight out, that your friends and family are just as important to you.
How can you expect to get settled down and be happy with a person who would love to see you in an isolation cell for the rest of your life just to feel more secure?

Abuse and threaten
Remember this, no matter how nice a partner is, if they’re abusive, verbally or physically, they’re not worth being with. Is it time to break up if an abusive streak shows up? Definitely.
Never look at that as “just one little bad habit”. You wouldn’t say the same thing the day your dinner gets poisoned or when your partner gives you a black eye, would you?
Do not be mistaken into thinking that you can change the person. Many abusers will not change however many times they fall into your lap crying and begging for forgiveness. If you threaten to leave but then receive a marriage proposal or an expensive gift, do not be fooled. A person who is willing to abuse you before marriage will not hesitate to do so after they have slipped the ring on your finger. At least if you leave now, you can avoid the trauma of an abusive marriage and a potentially nasty divorce.

Cheating mate
When you catch your lover cheating on you, you have two options. Take them back and risk going through it all over again or break off the relationship and start your life afresh.
Your partner may be sorry for what they have done and promise to remain faithful in future, but can you trust them again? The doubts may never go away if you stay with your partner. But if you think you can hold on and help grow the relationship, then give it a shot. But make sure you dump your cheating half immediately even if you sense a small sliver of a doubt after the first incident. Or your mate may end up cheating on you, again and again, until you’re the one who’s left messed up.

 Constant arguments
Do you find that both of you are constantly arguing and waiting to pick a fight? Your love may be on rocky shores and it may only be a matter of time before things get worse. The reason you are in a relationship is to find out if you are compatible with one another, possibly in preparation for marriage.
But if after a while, you find that you are not compatible and you argue all the time, then it may be time to break up and end the relationship. The person you thought was your soulmate may not be perfect after all, and this can be hard to accept.
It’s never easy to accept that you picked the wrong lover. But really, everyone makes mistakes, so don’t fret. Isn’t walking out a much better option than hanging on to the worst relationship you’ve ever had?

Control freak
Every now and then, when we fall in love, we come across control freaks. At first, all their quizzing sounds sweet and concerned, which makes you feel special. But as time passes by, you notice that their curiosity turns into a desperate bid to know every little detail about the things you do.
They sulk, abuse, or get frustrated when you don’t let them know what you’ve been up to for a couple of hours, and they would want to be around you all the time.
A person who wants to be around you all the time may just be insecure or may have had some issues in the past. Perhaps they were cheated and they’re worried it’ll happen again. But this sort of behavior would not change easily, so if you’re hoping your mate would just wake up one morning and stop pissing you off all the time, it’s never going to happen. This behavior will go on till the last day of your relationship unless your partner and you work on it.
It is never easy to distinguish the difference between a true lover and a selfish person who cares about nothing but themselves. But if you’re ever caught in a trap with a person who drains the happiness out of your life each and every single day when you’re together, ask yourself, isn’t it much better to just break up, even if it feels like it’s the hardest thing to do?
So if you ever find your mate exhibiting any of these breakup time signs, then give them a warning, or walk straight out if you can’t tolerate it anymore.