11 Super Smooth Ways to Flirt with Someone Online

If face to face flirtation isn’t your forte, you can trust technology to have your back! Here are some ways to get your crush’s attention online.

 

You want to be subtle with the way you show your feelings, but at the same time, you also want to start dropping hints at how much you adore your crush. You already have them as your contact in social media, but you’re not quite sure how to approach them online without pushing them to block you for good.
The good news is that social media gives you some semblance of privacy. Thus, if your crush doesn’t reciprocate your feelings, the people around you won’t be the audience to your humiliation. And if the rejection stings like acid to a new wound, you can always choose to erase all your interactions and unfollow your crush.
How you can flirt online
Ready to get your crush swooning over your sweet messages and subtle hints? Try out these tips.

#1 Take note of what your crush was wearing or doing, without being obvious about it.  
When you see your crush, acknowledging their presence with a “hi” or a smile would suffice. But when you get the chance to go online, send them a message and comment on what they were doing when you saw them.
You can go for a compliment like, “Hey, I really like your band shirt. Where’d you get it?” You can also opt for the charmer’s route by saying, “I saw you down your coffee like it was water. Staying up for the exams?” These statements let your crush know that you were paying more attention to them than you initially let on.

#2 Check out what shows, movies and music your crush is into, and keep them updated. 
 A simple Google search can help you find out the latest news about your crush’s interests. For instance, if they’re into a certain band, you can mention that they’ll be playing at a local venue this week. If your crush is in love with a certain celebrity, send your crush a photo that they might have missed on their online stalking binges.
If your crush is into certain TV shows, however, make sure you’re not the jerk who suddenly spouts out a bunch of spoilers. People are very touchy about spoilers, and you can never be too careful!

#3 Be careful with the likes.
 Sure, you can creep your crush out and like everything they’ve posted since they got on Facebook. But the best route when it comes to the likes is picking only a few posts, so as not to flood their notifications feed.
Liking all the photos may make you seem utterly friendly or downright stalker-like, while liking only selective photos will make your crush wonder why there are photos that you like and there are photos that you didn’t like. It will keep your crush on their toes and make it seem like a guessing game.

#4 Don’t be afraid to leave a comment. 
 Do not comment on how good looking your crush is, but instead, comment on what they are doing. Pick up on the finer details of their photos and ask them something like, “Is that at Starbucks?” or “I have the same exact phone case!”
Comment something that will warrant a reply from them and not just a thank you. Interacting more with your crush is better than just simply worshipping them. You can even start a friendly little teasing fest there, as long as you’re aware of whether you’re going overboard.

#5 Leave an air of mystery to get your crush hooked. 
 If your crush messages you, curb the temptation to go on a reply rampage and take a deep, deliberate breath. You can seenzone them for a couple of minutes, and then think of an apt reply to send them. By doing this, you’re preventing yourself from looking too eager.
But don’t rely on the speed of your reply alone. Answer some of their questions vaguely. If they ask what you’re up to tonight, don’t give them detailed instructions to get to the bar you’ll be hanging out in! Instead, tell them that you’ll be out. Then wait for a reply. Then go in for the kill and hint that they’d be welcome to join you. Smooth!

#6 Tag away at your photos together! 
 Do not be shy to let the whole world know that you have spent time with your crush before. Let his friends and your friends know that you two go way back.
Even if these are new photos, tag them, and let everyone know that you two are spending time with each other. It’s not that you’re outright being possessive, as it’s just a photo. But it’s a subtle reminder to both, your crush and to the rest of the world, that the two of you are having fun together. Let the jealous be jealous!
#7 Make your crush the center of your status update.
  But for the love of all that is glorious, do not tag them! Instead, make it pretty obvious that you’re referring to something you and your crush talked about or something you did together.
For instance, you can post a quote that you and your crush discussed earlier. Or you can post a link to a site that completely proves that you were right about something you had a debate about. You can even post a YouTube video of a song that was playing when you were hanging out.
#8 Don’t be afraid of having opposite opinions. 
 Opposite opinions is fuel for more interesting conversations with your crush. For example, you might be totally into Game of Thrones, but your crush is pro-Lannister, whereas you are pro-Baratheon.
Point this out, and make a sensible, fact-filled argument as to why Baratheons are better than Lannisters. This is sure to lead to a friendly debate, and in the end, you can be the charmer who lets your crush win… Or you can casually suggest to agree to disagree.
#9 Be everywhere.
  And by everywhere, it means be in all of your crush’s social media profiles. Keep yourself updated of everything, and make sure that you alternate replying to your crush. If today you sent your crush an e-mail, tomorrow you should ensure that you tweet a reply. And then the next day like their photo on Instagram, and so on.
This keeps you on their mind, and practically embeds you into their subconscious. Just remember to message them sparingly, so as not to flood your crush with declarations of love and admiration.

#10 Be there, but not really. 
 Miss your crush on purpose. Yes, you read that right. When your crush checks into a place, show up at a time when you’re sure that they’ve already left. Then make a post that clearly shows you were at the same exact place your crush was.
This might get your crush to react and say that they missed you by a couple of hours, and you can say something like they should have texted you. If your crush doesn’t react, your common friends just might come to the conclusion that you were there together, and they might start teasing you both. It might just be the perfect push to make your crush think that you might be good for each other.

The Step-by-Step Guide to Get Your Ex to Love You Again

Though they say that getting back with your ex is a bad idea, there are still instances when you just can’t let them go, no matter how hard you try.

 

As a word of warning to all our readers, looking to get back together with your ex needs a lot of careful consideration. After all, there is a reason you broke up in the first place. However, there’s no denying the attraction for someone you’ve once loved and may still love.
Do you miss how your ex would always make you laugh? Do you miss the warmth of your ex’s embrace? Do you long for those hours you spent talking about sweet nothings? Do your friends and family ever seem to wistfully ask why it never worked out between you two? Do you honestly believe, with all your heart, that getting back together with your ex is a perfectly sane and reasonable thing to do?

How to get your ex back
If you’ve answered “yes” to all the questions above, here’s how you can try to get back into your ex’s loving arms. Once you’ve made up your mind to try and give it another shot with a past love, you can follow these steps to ensure that you do it right.

#1 Start off with an apology.  
This would only apply if the wound of your breakup is still pretty recent. Breakups are a two-way thing. Even if it was caused by your ex, there’s still a possibility that you let go of words that you wish you could take back. To ease you back into your ex’s good graces, it’s always a good idea to apologize for the things you may have said and done to contribute to the demise of your relationship.
Be as sincere as you can be, and if possible, try to do this in person. The fact that your ex seems interested in talking to you may be a sign that there’s a possibility that they will take you back. Who knows, you might even reconcile right then and there!

#2 If the breakup isn’t recent, send your ex a text or a private message.
 Calling or just showing up at your ex’s place may be too forward and too confrontational. It might make your ex completely defensive and just shoot you down. Instead, it’s better if you send a message, just to give your ex some time to think of whether to reply or not.
If your ex replies amicably enough, then great! If not, don’t take it too personally. Your ex might be suspicious of your message. Try to send another message at another time, and keep your fingers crossed that you’ll get a response. If after about three messages spanning over the course of a week or two you still get no response, there’s a huge chance that getting back together is out of the question.

#3 Ask your ex out over the phone.
Once you get to messaging each other on a more or less regular basis, give your ex a call. It’s up to you if you want your ex to hear just how smitten you still are with hearing their voice. After the preliminary chitchat, ask your ex to hang out with you, even if it’s just as friends.
Yes, it may be deceptive to tell your ex that it’s just as friends, but immediately confessing that you’re still attracted to them might take your ex by surprise. The key here is going through the motions slowly, but surely. Also, make sure that the date has a very casual feel to it. Avoid any romantic settings. If possible, have the “friendly date” in a coffee shop or a restaurant during daylight hours.
 

#4 Reconnect with your ex’s friends.
Once you’re back to hanging out with each other, it may also be a good idea to get back in touch with your ex’s friends and family. Don’t act like your breakup never happened. Instead, act like someone who has been away for a while, but would just like to catch up. Keep your cool, and don’t act all possessive.
One of the key ways you can try to get back with your ex is by getting to their friends. Your ex may be persuaded by a friend who seems to think that you’ve changed for the better or that a second try might do you both good.

#5 Reminisce about the good times.
When you’re on your third date, or maybe even on your first, if you want to take it fast, you might want to bring up your old relationship. The way your ex responds to this prompt depends on how your relationship was. Their reaction actually clues you in on your chances of getting back together.
If they recall the good old days, they might still see you as someone they can fall back in love with. On the other hand, if your ex seems to see your relationship as a waste of time or a very trying phase in their life, then you need to work on convincing your ex that it won’t be like that the second time around.

#6 Show your ex how much you’ve changed. If you’re still the same person whom your ex decided to leave, then asking for them to take you back is like asking them to go through the pointless motions all over again. You can do this by highlighting some of the things that you’ve changed for the better.
For instance, you may show signs that you’re now more sensitive to their feelings by showing empathy. You may tell your ex that you’ve decided to join a program for controlling bad habits like smoking, drinking, gambling or even anger issues. You can also talk about how you’ve decided to pursue a career. This can then make your ex consider that giving you a second chance might not be such a bad idea. [Read: How to recreate your sexual chemistry with your ex]
#7 Try to woo your ex again. Even if you show your ex that you’ve changed for the better, you also have to show that the parts your ex likes are still there. Look back at how you were able to catch your ex’s attention and use this to attract them a second time.
You may have met during a music event, and you can go to another one to relive the memories. Your ex may have fallen for your great taste in movies and literature, and you can regale them with stories of what you’ve seen and read. Maybe your ex fell in love with your carefree, devil may care attitude. You can show that side of you by going out on a spontaneous trip, but still keeping your responsibilities in mind.

#8 Emphasize why you want to get back together. 
 Throughout all these fun dates and subtly romantic hints, your ex might still not understand why you’re trying to win them back. It’s clear that you’re not just after a tumble in bed, but you have to make it clear that your intentions include getting back together.
This is ultimately all up to you and your own personal reasons. But one of the most effective things you might say is the fact that life just isn’t the same without your ex’s presence. You can explain how different it was and how much better it could be, if you were to reconcile.
Another reason you can state is that you’ve never been able to find anyone else who makes you feel the way your ex feels. Of course, you’ll have to own up to the fact that you have been dating other people. But you’re both adults and your ex is bound to understand.

#9 He or she is the one.
One of the many reasons people break up is because of commitment issues. Your ex may have left because they didn’t think you’d commit completely. You can change their mind by actually proposing marriage. And yes, even women can do this, but it takes a woman with a lot of guts to pull this off.
But before you start planning a huge proposal, you have to consider the odds that your ex may or may not accept it. Don’t use your proposal to pressure your ex, as this may just lead to you getting disappointed.

Why Your Ex Still Crosses Your Mind from Time to Time

You’ve gone through the motions of healing and moving on, but for some reason, your ex still lingers in your mind. What’s the deal?

 

You know deep inside your heart and soul that you are over your ex. You have made peace with the past, and you are even in a new, happy, and fulfilling relationship. But sometimes, you can’t help but wonder why, in spite of the time that already passed, you still remember your ex.
Does it mean you want your ex back? Are you secretly still hoping for another chance? Do you miss the times you shared with your ex? In all honesty, probably not. But the mere fact that your ex crosses your mind should mean something, right?
Why do you still think about your ex?
Don’t jump to conclusions and think that keeping your ex in your mind means the universe is telling you to give it another shot. There are rational explanations that don’t entail trying to get back together with your ex.

#1 You run in the same friendship circles. 
You both know the same group of people. It’s not uncommon that you and your ex have a lot of common friends. Sometimes, it is even through a common friend that couples meet. If this is the case, then you will come across your common friends in social media, and they might have status updates, photos, or tweets that would include your ex.
At that moment, you would be reminded of the past. It is normal and it doesn’t mean that you still have feelings for your ex. It just so happens that there are still people who mention your ex, thus making you think about your past together.

#2 “I used to order this dish here.”
  This was what my ex used to order every day! Do you find yourself remembering how many times you have eaten in this particular restaurant with your ex? Do you find your mind wandering into the past? Do you remember which dishes tasted the best and which ones you hated? It is all about the experience that you had with your ex in the restaurants that you have eaten in, especially if it was their favorite.
This is actually pretty normal. Remembering something your ex used to like doesn’t mean you’re still hung up on them. It just so happened that you recalled a fond memory of eating something with your ex, hence the flood of memories.

#3 “I was here almost a year ago.” 
With the ex. And now that you are back in the same place, you kind of had a flashback of what you did here with them. It’s okay for anyone to have flashbacks, especially if you have been to the same place several times and you’ve actually enjoyed your time there. Call it déjà vu. You may have been in the same spot with your ex before, but now you’re in the same spot with the person you’re currently with. Your mind just associates the place with a memory, and that’s why your mind gravitated towards thoughts of your ex. Just keep in mind that you made memories in this place before, but you can make new ones with the one you’re now with.

#4 You still see your ex everywhere. 
It’s impossible to see someone you know and not think about them to some extent. If you see your ex in your favorite deli or at your neighborhood dentist, you can’t just push thoughts of them to the back of your mind.Thinking about your ex is one thing. But thinking of them and how awesome it used to be and how great you were together is a whole different thing. If it’s just a passing thought that went through your head when you ran into your ex, think nothing of it. Your brain is just telling you that, yes, you used to date, but no, that doesn’t mean you want to date them again.

#5 The social media generation. 
 It is both a blessing and a curse that social media is this generation’s bible. First of all, you get to be connected with everyone and have updates about anyone, anywhere in the world. So when your ex posts something, you’re bound to see it, and to some extent, you think about what that post might mean to your ex.
This is almost the same as seeing a friend’s post and wondering what that post could mean to your friend. For all intents and purposes, as soon as you get over your ex, he or she is just another friend on your list, and nothing more. Thoughts about them bear the same weight as any other post from people on your list.

#6 The power of the senses. 
You know science is a bit tricky. Whenever you smell the same scent or hear the same music and there is a particular memory connected to it, you will be reminded of the same feelings you had when you heard or smelled it.
It could be the perfume that your ex used to wear, or your ex’s favorite song turned into a ringtone – anything can become a reminder of your ex. You can’t control these thoughts, because it’s just your brain reminding you of something from the past.
 
#7 These are a few of my favorite things. 
 Just because you broke up, doesn’t mean you have to return every single thing your ex gave you, right? So you’re bound to still keep a couple of gifts from your ex, not as mementos, but as regular items that you just happen to use.
When someone asks you where you got your Louis Vuitton bag or your PSP or that chipped mug that you always use, you can’t help but recall the fact that your ex gave it to you for your anniversary or your birthday or for Christmas a couple of years ago. You’re just remembering the origin of something you’re still using, and even if it involves your ex, it doesn’t mean you’re holding on to those items because you can’t let go of your ex.

#8 Heart to heart talks.
  We have particular moments where we open up to friends about our past relationships. And this happens a lot. It could either be for advising them or for sharing experiences from which you learned lessons from. One of these stories can be about what happened between you and your ex. If it is still difficult to talk about it, then you might not really be over your ex. But if you can casually talk about it without eliciting any feelings, then you’re good to go.
#9 The doppelganger.
 You were quietly making your way to work, sipping on your hot cappuccino, when you suddenly needed to stop. You see your ex about a couple of meters from you, ignoring you completely. You become annoyed because you both ended things peacefully and agreed to stay acquaintances.
Oh wait, but that’s not your ex. It’s just someone who looks exactly like them. So nobody is apparently avoiding or snubbing anyone. Carrying on means being reminded of your ex doesn’t bother you. If you dwell on the fact that you think you keep seeing your ex when they’re not there, then that may be some cause for concern.

#10 Events with the ex. 
 You used to go with your ex to usual friend and family affairs like holidays, birthdays and other forms of celebration. You no longer do, but sadly, not everyone got the memo. So when the next get-together comes, everyone is going to look for your ex. And you have a lot of explaining to do.
You can explain the absence of your ex in a polite and casual manner or you can go on an hour-long pity fest with whoever bothers to listen. If you end up doing the former, congratulations! You’re over your ex, and thinking about them shouldn’t be a big deal for you.

How to Heal a Broken Heart the Wicked Way

Here are five wicked things you should definitely do if you want to know how to heal a broken heart the wicked way. If you’re trying to fix a broken heart and want your revenge for all the hurt that’s been caused to you, say no more.

 

How to heal a broken heart the wicked way
Oh, you want to do this bad, don’t you? You’re humiliated and you’re pissed off, you’re sad and you’re depressed.
Heck, you’re so messed up, you really don’t know what you are anymore! And each time you see your old flame giggling or hugging another date, you may go mad over the fact that they actually overcame your love so fast.
On the other hand, you may hate them and yet find it hard to get over them, if your ex had been cheating on you.
At times like these, there are a few things you can do.
These pointers come straight from the little devil that’s hiding inside your head, and they are brutal. As long as you stay on guard and do this for the pleasure of hurting them, things will be just fine. Maybe even great!

How to heal a broken heart #1 GO REBOUND!
Most love experts are against a rebound relationship. They say that jumping into a new relationship as soon as one is over is the wrong way to find love. I’m not denying that either!
But you need some special attention for another potential to get back at your ex. If they can hook up with someone else, why can’t you? Go ahead and hook up with a sweetie and have fun. Show off your new ‘love-of-your-life’ to your ex and let them know that you really don’t give a damn about them.
Watch your ex-sweetie bristle with anger each time you wrap your hands around your new hottie, and believe me, it can feel so good! It can feel even better if it’s someone your ex lover hates.
But one word of caution, just don’t fall in love with your new mate. Use them to have fun, and don’t get too involved for your own good.

How to heal a broken heart #2 GET FLIRTY AROUND YOUR EX
Too clever to go for a rebound, or too scared that you may actually fall in love with the wrong person? Not to worry, skip that step.
Opt for wild flirting sessions with any new cutie that you meet, especially when your ex is around. Laugh and have fun, flirt like mad, and make sure your lost love sees all of this. This can give you a load of satisfaction and help heal the scar of your previous love faster than anything else.

Want to get really dirty in love? Then what better way than by seducing someone your former flame is terribly jealous of?!
Remember the cheer leader from high school that your girlfriend hates or that guy who’s got promoted instead of your boyfriend? Well, now’s your chance to make a move that will pay off in more ways than just sex. Just think, if your ex finds out you’ve been fishing in familiar waters, it will drive them to the point of hysteria. This can be quite gratifying.
But do make sure the word reaches your ex’s ears. If there is anything that hurts your ex’s ego, it’s you sleeping or getting physical with someone they’ve always been jealous of!

How to heal a broken heart #4 NO MORE SECRETS
Now let’s think, are you ever going to hook up again with someone who threw you in the dirt and stamped you all over? I think not. So what do we do about getting back?
Firstly, remember there’s no more sweet love between both of you. You hate your ex, so get back in ways that are way below the belt. She’s got hairy nipples? He’s got a prick smaller than your little finger? Then it’s time the world knows all about it!
Humans are sadistic creatures. If you want pleasure out of your miserable life, you can get that by making sure that your sweet ex feels worse than you do. That would definitely cheer you up. But do make sure you don’t have any physical abnormalities that are worse than your ex’s before you open your mouth. The idea might just backfire!
Guilt may set in after you realize how mean you’ve been or after you get over the break up, but hey, if you want revenge badly right now, you’ve got consequences to pay, in this case, a bad case of guilty conscience!

How to heal a broken heart #5 P-A-R-T-Y
Now this isn’t hard to understand, so go right ahead and party! Have fun with others when you’re ex is around, have a drink, and go crazy on the dance floor. Hook up with someone and dance with them.
Hang out with your pals, and spend more nights out having a blast. Make eye contact, flirt a lot, meet new people… do all the works, especially when your ex is around. This will definitely piss your ex off totally. Forget the fact that you’ve got a broken heart inside your chest. Hearts heal best when we’re not thinking too much about them!

Fixing a broken heart
If you want to overcome the pain, you need to do it one bit at a time, and replace the pain with happy thoughts that you collect every day, by meeting new people and doing new things.
Convince yourself that the break up was the best thing that had happened to you. Just don’t sit in a corner and mourn. Why give your ex an opportunity to show how weak you are without them? Have a laugh and have fun. Life is way too short to hide that smile off your face. You really don’t need an ex to tell you to be happy or sad in your own life, do you?

Is it Time to Break Up?

Identifying a bad mate is not easy. But as time passes, you’d be able to become a better judge. So is it time to break up? Read the hidden signs.

 

It’s never easy to recognize a wrong lover or realize if it is time to break up, especially if you’ve been in love for a while.
But if you’re in a relationship that’s causing you more pain and sleepless nights than love and happy hours, then perhaps it’s time you watch out for these silent signals that every bad lover gives away.
If you find yourself experiencing any of these signs here, it’s probably time to break up and move on.

The blind spot in love
Every time a guy and a girl get together, there’s always sparks of love, bursts of attraction and those starry-eyed moments.
And then there’s the “oooh, I’m so in love with you” times and a lot more.
In almost every relationship in the world, the start is almost always perfect.
For some, the sunny phase of infatuation could last a week, and for others, maybe even a year.
When people fall in love, they easily readjust their blind spot over the negative aspects of their new lover, until the passion of the initial phase starts to flicker.
The flicker of lost passion is gradual, and it’s hard to distinguish the difference when you’re in love.
And very soon, you may just learn to “accept” that all relationships lose the spark after a few months.
Or worse, you may even realize the fact that you’re not happy in the relationship, but you may be too afraid to walk out, because you’re still not sure if it’s time for you to break up.

Is it time to break up?
There’s something about love that all of us should remember, when your gut tries to tell you something, you have to follow it.
But if you’re not really sure if you’re stuck in a losing battle, here are a few tell tale signs that confirm the fact that it’s time to break up and walk on, without your lover by your side. See if these traits describe your relationship, and if they do, you’d be better off going your own separate ways.

In love with an ex
Talking about an ex once in a while may be a sign of your lover opening up to you. The conversation could also be mildly interesting. But a person who continuously talks about their ex has some serious issues to think about.
Now if they’re happy in love with you, why would your mate want to talk about an ex? On an occasional note, that’s not bad at all. But some people don’t understand that there’s a big difference in a passing comment and a three hour one-sided speech about an ex! One sure sign that your lover’s just using you for “love” is when they start speaking about their ex as if they were better than you, or if they start comparing you negatively.
If you’re trying to push yourself to try and be a better lover, just give that up and chuck your mate out in the dirt. Being unfairly compared on a regular basis is not something anyone in the world would want to put up with. After all, no one wants to be viewed or treated as second best, especially not with an ex!

Isolation rules
When a mate says they want to be with you all the time, of course, it makes you feel special. But as time passes by, you may find that you’re spending more time with this one person, and hardly any with your best friends or family.
A person who wants you to be around them all the time, even if you have better things to do, may just be jealous that you might have a better time with others and may want to go out again. Even if you’re having a boring time with your mate, if your mate keeps convincing you not to meet others, either by threatening you or by bad mouthing about them, then it’s time you let your mate know straight out, that your friends and family are just as important to you.
How can you expect to get settled down and be happy with a person who would love to see you in an isolation cell for the rest of your life just to feel more secure?

Abuse and threaten
Remember this, no matter how nice a partner is, if they’re abusive, verbally or physically, they’re not worth being with. Is it time to break up if an abusive streak shows up? Definitely.
Never look at that as “just one little bad habit”. You wouldn’t say the same thing the day your dinner gets poisoned or when your partner gives you a black eye, would you?
Do not be mistaken into thinking that you can change the person. Many abusers will not change however many times they fall into your lap crying and begging for forgiveness. If you threaten to leave but then receive a marriage proposal or an expensive gift, do not be fooled. A person who is willing to abuse you before marriage will not hesitate to do so after they have slipped the ring on your finger. At least if you leave now, you can avoid the trauma of an abusive marriage and a potentially nasty divorce.

Cheating mate
When you catch your lover cheating on you, you have two options. Take them back and risk going through it all over again or break off the relationship and start your life afresh.
Your partner may be sorry for what they have done and promise to remain faithful in future, but can you trust them again? The doubts may never go away if you stay with your partner. But if you think you can hold on and help grow the relationship, then give it a shot. But make sure you dump your cheating half immediately even if you sense a small sliver of a doubt after the first incident. Or your mate may end up cheating on you, again and again, until you’re the one who’s left messed up.

 Constant arguments
Do you find that both of you are constantly arguing and waiting to pick a fight? Your love may be on rocky shores and it may only be a matter of time before things get worse. The reason you are in a relationship is to find out if you are compatible with one another, possibly in preparation for marriage.
But if after a while, you find that you are not compatible and you argue all the time, then it may be time to break up and end the relationship. The person you thought was your soulmate may not be perfect after all, and this can be hard to accept.
It’s never easy to accept that you picked the wrong lover. But really, everyone makes mistakes, so don’t fret. Isn’t walking out a much better option than hanging on to the worst relationship you’ve ever had?

Control freak
Every now and then, when we fall in love, we come across control freaks. At first, all their quizzing sounds sweet and concerned, which makes you feel special. But as time passes by, you notice that their curiosity turns into a desperate bid to know every little detail about the things you do.
They sulk, abuse, or get frustrated when you don’t let them know what you’ve been up to for a couple of hours, and they would want to be around you all the time.
A person who wants to be around you all the time may just be insecure or may have had some issues in the past. Perhaps they were cheated and they’re worried it’ll happen again. But this sort of behavior would not change easily, so if you’re hoping your mate would just wake up one morning and stop pissing you off all the time, it’s never going to happen. This behavior will go on till the last day of your relationship unless your partner and you work on it.
It is never easy to distinguish the difference between a true lover and a selfish person who cares about nothing but themselves. But if you’re ever caught in a trap with a person who drains the happiness out of your life each and every single day when you’re together, ask yourself, isn’t it much better to just break up, even if it feels like it’s the hardest thing to do?
So if you ever find your mate exhibiting any of these breakup time signs, then give them a warning, or walk straight out if you can’t tolerate it anymore.

How to Love Again After Being Hurt

It’s easy to think you’re a failure after a failed romance. But learn to take that leap of faith by understanding how to love again after being hurt.

 

So you were in a relationship, and now it’s all over.
You may have assumed that it would last forever.
Or perhaps, you had happy thoughts and dreams about your perfect relationship until the moment it ended heavily on your heart.
Life after a breakup can feel terrible, especially if you didn’t want the relationship to end or if you’ve been cheated on.
But what’s important now is to understand how to love again and get back on your feet.
You didn’t stop walking just because you fell down as a child, did you? Or did you stop playing a game or driving around in your car because you screwed up at some point?
Life isn’t perfect. It’s the little imperfections that make live perfect.
You wouldn’t know happiness if you don’t understand pain. And you won’t understand true love without understanding how a broken heart could feel like.

How to love again after being hurt
While this may sound like a consolation, this really isn’t. It’s the truth.
Life is unpredictable and doesn’t always plan out just like you wanted or expected. Learn to deal with the losses and cherish the happy experiences, and learn from your experiences.
Don’t give up on love because of a broken heart or because you think it’ll cause you pain. Bad relationships cause pain, not love. Remember that.
A break up is like a doorway into another relationship. How long it takes you to open that door is up to you. But at some point, you have to brace yourself and open that door and meet someone else.

Have you given up on love?
Almost all the time, many lovers who endure bad relationships and failed romances give up on ever finding true love. They just assume love doesn’t exist, and think it’s something all people call a relationship where two people put up with each other and sacrifice their happiness for the other person.
It’s an easy way to squirm out of a situation where you may partly be at fault. Denying that love exists is a coward’s way of lying to the world that they failed or haven’t met anyone who’s worth living for.
If you can’t find love in your own life, stop trying to make yourself feel better by telling everyone else that love doesn’t exist, because it does.
If you’ve endured an unsuccessful relationship or have suffered a painful break up, take your time to get your own life back in order. And when you’re ready to look for that special someone, take a leap of faith and dive headfirst into love.

Falling in love again
If you want to know how to love again and experience a better relationship, here are ten steps that can help you experience a happier relationship and a better life

#1 Accept that your old relationship is history
If you want to love again someday, learn to accept that your relationship is over. Many heartbroken lovers pine and dwell over lost relationships like they’ve lost their own lives. It could feel that way, true, but it’s all in your head.
You have the choice to bring a smile back on your face if you choose to. You may feel like it’s a bad thing to be cheerful or have a good time after a breakup, especially when it’s easier to stare at a wall and sadistically feel good about the pain you’re going through.
Heal your heart in a manner that’ll work for you, but don’t spend all the time locked in isolation. Convince yourself that the relationship is over instead of holding your phone in your hand hoping your new ex will call you back and make it up with you. You could fall back into a broken relationship a million times, but you’ll never be happy. Remind yourself that it’s over. As painful as it may seem, it’ll give you the strength to move on.
So you were in a relationship, and now it’s all over.
You may have assumed that it would last forever.
Or perhaps, you had happy thoughts and dreams about your perfect relationship until the moment it ended heavily on your heart.
Life after a breakup can feel terrible, especially if you didn’t want the relationship to end or if you’ve been cheated on.
But what’s important now is to understand how to love again and get back on your feet.
You didn’t stop walking just because you fell down as a child, did you? Or did you stop playing a game or driving around in your car because you screwed up at some point?
Life isn’t perfect. It’s the little imperfections that make live perfect.
You wouldn’t know happiness if you don’t understand pain. And you won’t understand true love without understanding how a broken heart could feel like.


#2 Where did you go wrong?
The breakup may have come out of the blue or it may have been a series of little fights that led to your partner calling the relationship off and walking away. But whatever the reasons may be, even if you have no reason to blame yourself, learn from the relationship.
Did you choose the wrong partner? Were you insecure, or did you always know the relationship was doomed right from the start? Learn to read the signs of a bad relationship and make sure you don’t make the same mistakes again.
Experience is what you get when you fail at something. But it’s a valuable lesson nevertheless. So learn from your failed relationship and keep those little things in mind.

#3 Enjoy your spanking new single status
It’s a case of the grass being greener on the other side, but for once, learn to enjoy the other side of the fence. You’re single, so start loving it!
You’ve probably been in a relationship for a while, which explains why you’re heartbroken and upset. But don’t let that hold you down. Spend more time with friends of the opposite sex. They may be friends, but there’s always a teeny bit of sexual tension and flirting fun even between friends. And you could use that now to feel better about yourself.
Speak with friends of the opposite sex late into the night, call your crushes and friends that have a crush on you. You probably had to avoid these friends earlier, what with you being in a relationship and all, but now you can speak to all these people for hours. If you want to understand the secret behind knowing how to experience happiness and how to love again, always look for the silver lining in every dark cloud. Optimistic and happy people enjoy their lives no matter what hurdles they face. We really can’t say the same about the sad pessimists, can we?

How to Stop Thinking About Someone You Still Like

Want to know how to stop thinking about someone you like and miss? Here are 20 tips that can help you with that and make you a better person too.

It’s hard being ignored by someone you like.
And at other times, it’s painfully hard to force yourself to stop thinking of someone when you know it just can’t work out.
I’ve been in many happy relationships myself and a few of them did end in a bad way where I was left in the lurch.

And I’ve been madly in love with someone who I know will never love me back for silly reasons.
At the end of it all, through my turmoil and pain, I learnt a few things that helped me stop thinking about someone you like, especially when they don’t like you back

How to stop thinking about someone
You may have your own reasons to stop thinking of someone.
While the reasons to stop missing someone may be plenty, the ways are all similar.
Here are 20 easy tips that you could use to stop missing someone and realize where you’re going wrong at the same time.

#1 Make up your mind. 
What do you really want to do? Do you want to get over that person or do you just want to stop obsessing over them? Sometimes, clarity is all you need to progress and face reality.

#2 Look for closure. 
Don’t ignore the incident or avoid thinking about it. Instead, accept the fact that the event happened. Spend a day or two brooding over it by yourself and once you feel saturated by thoughts, let go and move on.

#3 Don’t feign memory loss. 
Don’t pretend like you don’t miss that person. Don’t try to forget that this person existed. Instead, just focus on ways to avoid getting affected by it.

#4 Find someone else to think about. 
If you want to stop thinking about someone, the easiest and perfect way is to find someone else to think about. Create a distraction and start obsessing about someone else. It’ll work wonders.

#5 Don’t look for ways to contact them or bump into them. 
 It’s easy to fantasize about circumstances and happy reunions. Instead, give up on plotting ways to contact them and accept the fact that you are looking for ways to stop thinking of them.

#6 Think of their negative traits.
 If you’re smitten by someone, it’s time to knock them off your pedestal of awesomeness. Think of it, this person wasn’t as perfect as you imagined them to be. If you want to avoid falling in love with them, remember all their flaws and heighten them.

#7 Don’t be depressed.
  It’s easy to get depressed and suffer from low self esteem, especially when you feel like someone’s walked all over you. Have a laugh yourself and enjoy a good time. Watch funny youtube videos or a comedy to remind yourself of how it feels to laugh.

#8 Don’t stay idle. 
An idle mind is a devil’s workshop. Heard that one before, haven’t you? In this case, it’ll be the workshop of the one you’re thinking about. You do know it’s stupid to give this person any more space and time on your mind. So keep yourself occupied and avoid thinking of this person.

#9 Don’t stalk them, online or offline.
 Social networks have made it so much easier to stalk exes and crushes. While it may seem like a gift, it’s still a curse. You’ll never move on unless you keep all news of this person away.

#10 Respect yourself.
 This *special someone* walked all over you by treating you like dirt. They don’t respect you nor do they care about you. Do you think you respect yourself enough? If you do, why are you humiliating yourself by obsessing about someone who clearly doesn’t deserve any of your time or love?

#11 Learn a new activity. 
Learn or do something that’s always excited you, be it playing games or joining a dance class. It’ll fill your mind with fresh, happy thoughts that’ll eventually wipe away all traces of the person you’re trying to get over.

#12 Don’t criticize yourself. 
Don’t try to pick flaws in yourself and find reasons for their behavior. Sometimes, some people are just selfish or they just suck. There’s nothing wrong with you.

#13 Avoid romantic movies. 
Avoid romantic movies, songs and shows. It’ll just stir up all those locked emotions and turn you into a sadist who loves torturing yourself. Watch fun movies or for something even better, watch wild sexy movies involving lots of friends or single people.

#14 Visit new places or go on a vacation. 
Sometimes, all you need is a fabulous vacation with friends to clear your mind and focus on new things. You’ll come back feeling a lot better.

#15 Accept the fact that they’ve moved on. 
 Remind yourself that they’ve moved on and forgotten all about you. You know what, this person doesn’t even care about you anymore! They’re probably thinking of someone else right now. Disgusts you, doesn’t it? Well, accept the fact and let that give you the strength.

#16 Don’t talk about that person with your friends. 
 Indulge in gossip, but avoid talking about this person even if it feels sickly satisfying to talk about them.

Signs Your Friends Are Ruining Your Relationship

Your friends may seem nice and trustworthy, but are your friends ruining your relationship? Use these traits to find out if they’re bad for your love.

Friends can be the best thing in the world.
But at times, they can be the worst too.
Do you find yourself jumping from one relationship to another all the time?
Do you think there’s something wrong with you?
Sometimes, it may not be you.
It may be your best friends who’re unknowingly messing your relationships up for you without your notice.
 
Are your friends ruining your relationship?
A long time ago, I saw this great girl from another college at a frat party.
I thought she was extremely cute and I really wanted to know her better.
We exchanged glances with each other all night, but she had to leave before I could make my move.
The next day, I got a note from her. One of our common friends hand delivered it to me. In the note, she mentioned that she really liked me and would like to meet me sometime.
I showed the note to my best friend, and he rubbished it immediately.
“She’s a whore, dude, she just wants to sleep around. And she doesn’t look good anyway… Forget about her, she’s just not worth it…” he said as he tore the note into bits.
I didn’t bother responding to the note, and forgot all about her.
A year later, I saw her again in another friend’s arm. She looked so stunning, I had a hard time holding my jaws shut. My friend introduced her and I found out later that he was her first boyfriend.
Apparently, she was a shy girl who never hung out with boys and was only interested in a serious relationship.
I felt like kicking myself in the head for being such a jerk and blowing her off after she worked her courage up to write me a letter.
But what I realized at the same time is how easily friends can manipulate you into walking away from perfect relationships.

13 signs your friends are ruining your relationship
It may be jealousy, malice or a veiled attempt to be better than you, but sometimes even the best of friends can turn out to be real backstabbers, at least when it comes to love.
If you find yourself breaking up from seemingly perfect relationships all the time, perhaps, you need to ask yourself if your friends played a bigger part than you first imagined.
Here are 13 circumstances when your best friends could turn out to be your worst relationship nightmare.

#1 Your friends think your date’s not good enough.
 Ever been here? You date someone you really like but your friends think your date’s obnoxious or ugly? At times like these, you may start wondering yourself if you’ve made the wrong choice. And once you start thinking, it’s easy to mentally turn even a perfect partner into an ugly hag.

#2 Friends who constantly want your attention. 
Do your friends constantly butt in when you’re hanging out with your new lover? To your friends, gate crashing your romantic date may seem like a laugh. But it can actually piss your new date off.
If your friends constantly whine about how much time you spend with your new squeeze, they’re just bored and annoyed that you’ve got something better to do. Real friends give you a choice. Bad friends only care about their own fun.

#3 Talking about past relationships. 
Past relationships are always sensitive. When you and your date are hanging out with your friends, do your friends constantly talk about your exes or about the way you used to behave around an ex just to have a laugh?

#4 Friends who want you to cheat.
  Your friend may love one night stands, but they really shouldn’t be trying to convince you to do the same when you’re in a relationship. It’s easy to be manipulated by friends you trust, but sometimes you need to space yourself from these kinds of friends who don’t want your romantic relationships to evolve into something better.
#5 Friends who make you ignore your lover. 
When you’re out with your lover and your friends, do your friends constantly try to keep you occupied or try to split both of you into separate conversations?
Friends who make you ignore your lover by constantly trying to keep you engrossed in another conversation or take you to another part of the room are never good for your budding relationship.

#6 Friends who flirt with your lover. 
 There are bad friends and then there are worse. Friends who flirt with your new date behind your back are the worst kind. If your friend tries to put you down, or calls up your lover and speaks for hours when you’re not around, there’s a good chance that your friend is looking for ways to break both of you up and enter the picture.

#7 They disrespect your partner. 
Do you feel like your friends ignore your new lover or treat them disrespectfully while hanging out together? If you feel it, chances are, it’s true. When your friends disrespect your date, it reflects badly on you as a lover.

#8 Your friends speak ill of you. 
 Do your friends treat you disrespectfully when you’re with your date? Your friends should help you impress your date and win a lover over, not make you look bad. If your friends put you down in front of your lover, they’re probably jealous or annoyed.


#9 They always show the worst side.
  Do your friends offer bad advice or tell you to break up with your partner over the smallest of reasons? If your friends always make you see the worst in your partner, they may not be such good friends, after all. If they have good reasons, perhaps they’re only trying to help you. But almost always, friends whose only advice starts with “break up…” are up to no good.

#10 Your friends know your amorous secrets. 
If you’ve been good friends for a while, your friends would definitely know your dirty secrets. They may even know about that hottie who flirted with you a few nights ago.
Do your friends pull your leg or threaten to reveal all your dirty secrets in front of your new lover when all of you go out together? Even if it’s just a joke and they don’t say anything out loud to your new lover, these kinds of conversations will always rouse doubts in your new lover and may even strain your new relationship beyond repair.

#11 Friends who flirt with you.
This is something you’ll have to deal with immediately. Do any of your friends of the opposite sex like you or try to flirt with you in front of your new date? It doesn’t matter if your flirty friend hits on you on facebook or on the streets, it’s still going to make your new lover feel awkward and insecure.

#12 Friends of the opposite sex.  
Do you have a best friend of the opposite sex? If you do, you’re already starting off on the insecure foot. Not many people feel comfortable dating someone who has a best friend of the opposite sex. And if your best friend is touchy feely, you’re going to have a harder time convincing your new lover that you and your best friend are just good friends.

#13 Friends who know too much. 
Do your friends know every little secret about your partner? You may like those discussions you have with your friends about partners, affairs and prick sizes or boob sizes. But if your partner gets to know about it, they may get rather annoyed.
Most of the time, your partner may not like it when you share your relationship’s intimate details with your friends. To ensure that your friends aren’t affecting your relationship, avoid talking about intricate details with your friends, especially when it comes to your partner and their embarrassing areas.

How to Break Up With Someone You Love

Breaking up is never easy, but there’s no other way around it. Find out how to break up with someone you love without hurting them using these steps

 

Ending a relationship is painful, especially so when you’re still in love with them.
It’s confusing and tricky and you never really know what to say or how your soon-to-be-ex is going to react.
There’s one thing you need to understand before you break up with someone you love, and that’s never to end a relationship like a coward.

How to break up with someone
Let’s face it, it’s really easy to ignore a lover for a few days until they get pissed, call you up and yell at you.
And then you give your lover a ridiculously lame excuse and wait for them to say they can’t take this relationship anymore.
And then you grin a sigh of bitter relief because you could avoid the confrontation.
There’s another easier way too, and this is actually the most common way to break up.
You purposely bring up a touchy subject while you’re on the phone, and wait for your partner to lose their lid.
And somewhere in the conversation, you fake genuine enlightenment and tell you partner that this can’t go on, because both of you are so different.

And that’s another cowardly way to break up.
Now both these ways of breaking up are foolproof and you can definitely use it too. The best part of ending a relationship this way is that you don’t really need to confront your lover or even initiate the breakup conversation.
But it’s never really the end.

The risks of breaking up badly
When you break up like a coward, there are always rebounds from both sides of the relationship, and there are sobbing calls and make ups and breaks up and a few kisses in between.
If you really want to know how to break up with someone you love, you need to stay away from quick and easy ways, because they can actually end up lingering longer and make you and your partner feel more miserable.

The right way to break up with someone you love
When you’re considering a break up, you need to ask yourself a few questions to understand your own mind. Can you really handle the break up and can you stay firm with your decision? These questions will help you find that out.
#1 If your partner asks for a second chance, would you be willing to give a chance?
#2 Do you think you’d have a change of heart in the middle of the conversation?
#3 Do you constantly have second thoughts about breaking up? Do you wonder if you should change your mind?
#4 Are you just angry with your partner based on present circumstances?
#5 Would you prefer to take a break in the romance before you call the relationship off?
If you’ve answered most of these questions in the affirmative, it probably means you’re still in love with your partner, and not really ready to end the relationship yet.
And even if you do want to break up, there’s a greater chance that you’d get back again if your partner wants to get back with you.

The real way to end a relationship
If you’ve given up all hope of staying happy in love even though you love your partner, and are ready to end the relationship, here are 8 steps you need to follow to end a relationship the right way.

#1 Don’t avoid your partner before breaking up. 
Most lovers who want to end a relationship try to avoid their partner and distance themselves with silly excuses. Understand that your partner deserves to know what’s going on in your mind and has every right to know the truth about your feelings.
You can express your views that you’re not happy in the relationship, but you should never ignore your partner’s calls or avoid them in person.
At times, it may just be a phase or a misunderstanding that created all the differences. Before you seriously consider ending the relationship, give it some time to see if both of you can better your relationship and make it work first.

#2 Remember the reasons. 
We love clutching at straws and looking at the good side in everything, especially if it involves a big change in our lives. Don’t be afraid of change, especially if it will make you feel better and happier.
This can seem childish, but make a list of all the reasons why you want to break up with the one you love. It will give you the strength to stick with your decision even if a few days pass since your last argument.

#3 Having the conversation. 
Call your partner and tell them you need to talk about something important. Don’t elaborate on what the discussion is about, but make it clear that you want to talk about the relationship.
You can meet your partner at your place or at a fairly silent restaurant or a coffee shop. Always remember to do it face to face. Speaking over the phone seems so much easier, but it’s insulting to the relationship.

#4 Don’t throw accusations. A break up can be one sided or mutual, but there’s no reason for either of you to throw accusations at each other. It’s an easier way to get straight to the point, but it will not end in a good way nor will it iron your conflicts away.
It’s natural that both of you will have your opinions, and either of you are entitled to your strong opinions, so there’s really no point in creating a conflict here.

#5 The breakup conversation. If you don’t know how to break up with someone you love, you can use the first few lines of this conversation, and the rest will follow…
You: There’s something I’ve wanted to talk about for a while, but I just didn’t know how to bring it up.
Partner: What is it?
You: I’m sorry, but I don’t think I’m very happy with the way things are going in our relationship.
Partner: What? / WTF?! / Are you serious? / Why?
You: I’ve given this a lot of thought over the last few weeks and we’ve spoken about our differences too, but it just doesn’t seem to be getting better. These constant conflicts are actually making both our lives painful and miserable. Maybe there’s no way forward here and we just have to accept it. Perhaps we’re perfect individuals but not really perfect for each other.
Partner: What are you trying to say? / Where are you going with this?
You: I think it would be best if we go our separate ways. Both of us are obviously not happy in this relationship even though we love each other…

#6 Explain the reasons. 
The breakup conversation tip mentioned in the earlier step would definitely help, but it’s not enough. If you really want to break up with the one you love and end it wholeheartedly, you need to get into the specific details.
It may hurt, but at least you’ll be able to tell your partner how you feel. Explain the real reason behind why you want to end the relationship, but try not to infuriate your partner by bringing up touchy issues. You’re trying to break up with the one you love, and you should learn to do it gracefully without picking faults.

#7 Walking out of the relationship.
 Once you’ve patiently explained the reasons in a calm voice, and both of you have decided to end the relationship, you need to walk out of the relationship without bearing any ill will towards each other.
You may feel a wave of overwhelming relief and yet, a painful realization that you’ve just broken up with someone you love. It’s normal to feel conflicting emotions, so don’t worry about it. Decide whether you want to stay as friends or whether you’d like to avoid each other for a while until the wounds can heal.
In either case, staying as friends would only feel more painful, so I’d suggest you give each other some space, at least for a few months.

#8 Final goodbyes. 
You may now know how to break up with the one you love, but there are still a few tricky issues like having sex for the last time or the last special kiss.
Avoid getting physical for the last time, it’s just pointless and can lead to confusing affairs. But if you do want to share one last kiss, contrary to what many other love experts say, I’d say go for it. A final kiss and a warm hug can seem weird and bring back memories of the old times, but it can help both of you understand the finality of the situation if you’re both really ready to let go. [
It’s just like death. Saying goodbye to a dying person can actually make everything feel more peaceful on the inside. But at the same time, a sudden separation with no goodbyes can traumatize you for months.
Once you’ve broken up with your lover, walk away with a smile and leave each other warmly. Both of you may be terrible as a couple, but you’re both wonderful individuals.
And if you ever miss your ex, avoid calling them up or texting them. It won’t help you, and it definitely won’t help your partner with whom you’ve ended the relationship.

Now that you’ve understood the steps behind how to break up with someone you love, learn to end the relationship gracefully and peacefully. It’ll hurt and confuse you, but it’s better for both of you to live happily as individuals rather than live unhappily as a couple.

How to Stop Being Manipulated in a Relationship

All of us get manipulated into giving in now and then. But where do you draw the line? Find out how to stop getting manipulated using these 14 tips.

Manipulation is a behavior in which one person tries to change the mind of another person without confronting them directly.
Manipulators use deception, trickery and threats to get what they want, from people who are willing to give in to them.
Now all of us don’t fall for the tricks of a manipulator all the time.
But there are instances when all of us can fall prey to manipulation, especially when we’re being used by someone we love and really care about.
The easiest way to see it is by understanding the way you feel around a person.
When you feel powerless in the presence of someone, there’s a good chance that you’re being manipulated by them, whether you realize it or not!

Manipulation in a relationship
The first thing you need to understand is that people get manipulated, not because they’re weak, but because they truly believe they stand to lose something by not giving in to this person.
And it’s most common in romantic relationships where one partner always gives in to the other partner just to please them *or to avoid offending them*.
Are you in a relationship with a partner who’s manipulative?
It’s not easy to recognize the signs of a manipulative lover, but it always starts with requests that soon turn into veiled threats, which eventually turn into outright abuse over time.

Why are manipulative lovers so manipulative?
In most cases, a person’s manipulative behavior is acquired from the people around them, usually their parents or other people that they’ve grown up with during their formative years.
If you were growing up and see that your mother avoided confrontations with your father, but always got what she wanted by subtly tricking him with manipulation and deceit, you may start to believe that manipulation is a much better way to deal with a problem and avoid confrontation at the same time.
When you grow into an adult after being exposed to this kind of manipulative behavior as a youngster, you may start using manipulation to get what you want, especially if you believe you don’t stand a chance of getting it with outright aggression or confrontation.
And that’s how a manipulative person’s mind works. They avoid direct confrontations, and instead of going against someone to their face, they use subtlety and trickery to convince someone into doing something for them, without ever opposing them to their face.
Each time their manipulation works, they’re more convinced that manipulation and deceit is a much better option than outright confrontation.

Why are you the unlucky one to end up with a manipulative lover?
People with manipulative tendencies are drawn to people who lack assertiveness. If you can’t say ‘no’ or have a hard time stopping yourself from doing favors for someone even if you don’t want to do it, in all probability, you’d be drawing manipulators like moths to a warm flame.
If you lack assertiveness in your personality, you’d have the tendency to bring out the manipulative side in any of your lovers or the people you date. Initially, your partner may use flattery or plead with you to get things done their way. But as they get more and more confident, they may use blatant aggression to frighten you into submission!

The things manipulators do to manipulate and use you
Manipulators use different ways make you feel insecure and guilty, and make you give in to their demands. They may withhold information from you to make you seem unimportant, they may blatantly lie to you because they know you don’t have the courage to question them back, they may play the victim’s card by talking about how sad and pitiful their life or workplace is, or they may force you to take sides by bitching about someone you trust or picking flaws in them, and eventually convincing you that they’re the only person you can trust in this cruel world.
The tricks manipulators use could be many. But it’s all done to bring just one effect. They want to break your morale, make you completely dependent on them, and convince you that you need them more than they need you.
And this combination is the perfect recipe for a manipulator to turn you into soft putty each time they want to use you or abuse you!

How to stop being manipulated in a relationship
It’s very easy to know how to stop being manipulated in a relationship. But it’s extremely hard to bring yourself to make the change.
It all starts with acceptance. You need to realize that you’re a victim, and you need to realize that you need to change forever because you don’t stand to gain anything by being used by everyone around you.
Each time you accept to do something when your mind silently screams ‘no’, you’re giving another person an opportunity to use you and manipulate you. And over the years, you’d only lose your self esteem and feel smaller and weaker each time you find yourself getting used and manipulated.

14 ways to stop getting manipulated in a relationship
If you truly want to stop being manipulated in your relationship, you need to learn to take a stand and believe you’re worthy of your partner. Use these 14 ways to change for the better and stop getting manipulated by your lover.


#1 You’re the victim. 
Realize that you are a victim. Use the frustrations, the anger and the resentment you feel each time you feel manipulated and try to convince yourself to act on your partner’s behavior. Tell yourself that you deserve a better life that’s full of happiness and not deceit and trickery. Believe in the strength you have, and realize that you do have the power to say ‘no’ if you choose to.

#2 Communicate with your partner. 
 Talk to your partner and explain how you feel each time you feel manipulated in the relationship. Remember, sometimes your partner may not realize themselves that they’re manipulating you to get what they want. Confronting them will give you the courage to decline them *because you’ve explained your need to decline their requests when you feel manipulated*.

#3 Recognize their emotional blackmails. 
 Keep an eye on the way your partner tries to manipulate you. Do they try bullying you, intimidating you, or do they say something that makes you feel weak and want to give in? Try to pinpoint the signs that make you feel vulnerable and used in the relationship.

#4 Take a stand. 
You may not be ready to say ‘no’ just yet. But you could at least take a stand when you don’t feel like doing something, right? If your partner asks you for something you don’t wish to do, explain yourself calmly and tell them why you don’t wish to do it. You may feel really awkward the first few times, but your confidence will grow and you’ll regain your strength each time you say ‘no’.

#5 Principles in life.
Sit down by yourself and ask yourself what you’re willing to accept and where you want to draw the line. By setting boundaries and having clear principles in life and knowing when to stop doing favors for someone, it’ll help you recreate a whole new ‘you’ who’s more confident and clear about what’s right and what’s wrong.

#6 Learn to be assertive. 
Learn to say ‘no’, read self help books that can motivate you and help you take a stand. Remind yourself that you’re an adult and no one has the right to manipulate you or bully you into doing something you don’t want to do.

#7 Get your independence. 
Most lovers who get bullied in a relationship allow it to happen only because they believe they are dependent on their partner. So learn to be independent in all ways *social, emotional and financial* so you can have the strength to stand on your own feet again and reclaim your life.

#8 Respect and love yourself. 
If you don’t love yourself and believe you’re awesome, there’s no way you can ever stand up for yourself. You need to realize that you’re not a pushover. Stop giving people the opportunity to use you by being firm and following your principles.

#9 Don’t give up. 
It’s very hard to make such a big change in your life, but it’s not impossible. Don’t give up and don’t stop hoping for a better life. You’re the only person who can stop you from a better life. So even if you fail and fall prey to emotional manipulation now and then, don’t give up. Just try harder the next time around.

#10 Build a support system. 
If you’re being manipulated by your lover, build a small support system with your family or your close friends. Meet them often, stay busy in your own life, and when you have a hard time confronting the manipulation, use the help of your support system.

#11 Get stronger.
  Each time you find the strength to say ‘no’ to someone, be it a salesperson, a coworker, or even your partner, take a moment to experience the high and control over your life you feel right then. And use this strength to feel stronger and more in control of your own life.

#12 Don’t let it get to you.
  Don’t let your partner’s bitter remarks, their expectations and the mean things they say get to you. Doubting yourself is the easiest way to lose control of your own life. Turn a deaf ear to anything that you perceive as negativity, and just believe in yourself.

#13 Don’t fall prey. 
Don’t fall prey to their pleas, false excuses or lavish gifts. When a manipulator feels like you’re slipping out of control, they may try really hard to please you or win your affection back, just before they ask you for something. But this is when you need to avoid falling into their trap. As convincing as they may seem, be strong and don’t give in to their demands, even if you feel obligated because they’re being so nice to you.

#14 Don’t let them beat around the bush.
Most manipulators never get straight to the point. They always talk about all the things they’ve done for you, or they promise you something special, and just when you seem really happy, they try to get something out of you.
Remember, they want to put you in an awkward spot so they can trick you into doing something. Don’t let that happen. If you sense a request coming, ask them to be direct and tell you what they want.

#15 Walk away. 
Living with a manipulative partner is like walking on a minefield. You can’t relax, you can’t just love them for who they are, and you’ll always have to be on guard. And that’s not really the recipe of a happy relationship, is it? If you can’t feel carefree and happy in your lover’s arms, is it worth staying in the relationship?
If your partner doesn’t try to change even after you’ve given them enough chances, walk away for good. Chances are, their manipulative behavior is too deeply ingrained in their mind to ever change. And you’re better off leaving the relationship, than letting this person break your spine and your morale, which would only lead to you getting used and manipulated by everyone else in your life.

 

Ways to Catch a Cheating Partner!

Does your instinct tell you your lover is cheating on you? Use these 18 discreet ways on how to catch a cheating partner to catch them red handed!

Sometimes, you just know it.
You don’t know how, but you feel it in your gut, and something tells you that your partner is cheating on you.
You try confronting your partner about it, but they swat your concerns away and tell you that you’re just being paranoid.
Ever been there?
Are you convinced that your spouse is cheating on you, even though you can’t find any proof of it?
Of course, sometimes you may be going overboard with your paranoia, especially if you’re rather clingy and insecure to begin with.
But what if, by some miniscule margin, your instincts do turn out to be right eventually?
The fact that you doubt your partner is a sign that things aren’t all rosy in romance land.
And just suppressing your doubts and fears, and pretending like everything’s perfectly normal won’t help you at all.
In fact, it’ll just tear both of you apart from the inside because there’s no more trust in the relationship.
Is your partner cheating on you?
There are just two ways to get the nagging worry out of your head. One, you talk about it with your lover and get a convincing answer from them. Or secondly, you sneak around discreetly and try to get some proof of your partner’s philandering ways *if any*.
If you feel insecure in a relationship, always talk to your partner and tell them what you feel. Sometimes, it may just be a silly misunderstanding. And communication always helps sort things out, even if one of you is on the verge of looking out for an affair. 
But if your doubts don’t get erased even after the conversation, then perhaps, the only way to get the real answers is by snooping around and looking for clues when your partner is too busy doing their own thing.

18 ingenious ways to catch a cheating partner
Confronting a serial cheater or a guiltless cheater never helps, because no matter how much you cry or remind them how much you love them, they’re just too selfish to think about anyone but themselves. So instead of confronting your lover every night, take it easy and let your partner assume that all is well and forgotten.
After all, you can’t catch a cheating lover when they’re being cautious and on guard. Just pretend like everything’s normal and watch how your partner behaves around you over the next few weeks.
Once your partner thinks you don’t suspect them anymore, use these 18 signs and ways to catch a cheating partner to catch your lover in the act!

#1 Watch the signs. 
Do you see a change in your partner’s behavior recently? Have they started working out, dressing better, or started using a new seductive intense evening perfume? They may have no reason for the changes, and almost always, these changes may seem very spontaneous.

#2 Drop by unannounced. 
Every now and then, drop by unannounced to their workplace or come back home early. Don’t make it obvious that you’re just spying on them. Instead, always have a great excuse to walk in unannounced. If your partner is cheating on you, the first thing they’d do *instead of welcoming you with a smile* is hide something or appear surprised or even angry! [

#3 Check their recycle bin. 
The garbage is a great place to dispose of things. And sometimes, it also has a lot of clues. If your partner is on the computer often, check the computer’s recycle bin often. Chances are, there may be another person’s photo or a little snippet of information that could be of some use.

#4 Snoop on their phone.
  Does your partner carry their cell phone with them wherever they go, even if it’s a trip to the loo? If that’s happening in your relationship, there’s a good chance your partner’s up to something. Take a peek into their cell phone when you get the chance, especially when they’ve put the phone on charge.
Erased phone logs, a password protected phone, several calls to the same unknown numbers, or phone bills without detailed call information are all good signs that your partner is trying to hide something.

#5 Spontaneous sex. 

This works better if you’re a girl, and dating a guy. If your boyfriend or husband comes home late from any unexpected delay, try to have spontaneous sex with them when they get back home. If your guy gets angry, pushes you away or tries avoiding it at all costs, chances are, he may be exhausted down there. He could always wash himself up before getting home, but getting it up immediately and blowing a huge load, that’s not the easiest thing to do!



#6 Follow after a fight. 
Most cheating partners intentionally try to pick fights, slam the door and walk away, because it makes a great excuse to slip out of the house and meet their adulterous lover. If your partner’s been picking fights and walking out of the house often recently, try to follow them on the pretense of apologizing *if they see you following them

#7 Change your sleeping habits. 
If your partner’s cheating on you, their sleeping habits may change almost overnight. They may stay up longer using the excuse of work, or you may catch them sneaking around the house late at night. Pretend like you’re asleep as soon as you hit the bed, and try to see if your partner’s up to something. Do they get out of bed for long periods of time?
And it’s not just late nights you need to think about. Some cheating partners may even wake up really early and get on the phone, especially if they realize you suspect them.

#8 Does your partner want space? 
Space is something all of us need in a relationship, whether we accept it or not. But has your partner started getting fiercely protective about their space recently? Do they hate answering questions about where they’ve been or what they’ve been up to? It’s definitely a small warning sign.

#9 They get jumpy. 
Try walking in on your partner when they least expect it without announcing yourself, especially if they’ve been by themselves for a while. Does your partner act jumpy or nervous when you walk in on them, especially if they’re over the phone or in front of their computer? They were probably doing something and they don’t want you to know what it was.

#10 Changes in schedule. 
All of a sudden, your partner may stay out a lot of nights on work, or have a lot of get-togethers on their social calendar with their friends. If your partner doesn’t ever invite you with their friends, or if they claim to be very busy working and still look fresh and happy when they get home, your partner’s probably up to something.

#11 The phone etiquette. 
 Your partner suddenly needs a lot of space while talking over the phone. They either sound awkward or they walk away from you to the next room while talking over the phone with a few people. You may even find text messages from random numbers with random texts in them.
Remember, when people cheat, they could always store the other lover’s number under another name, and use code words to interact with each other when they miss each other!

#12 Gadgets.
Your partner has changed most of their passwords, even if you thought you knew all of them. And even when you ask them for the new password, they make an excuse to hide it from you. And sometimes, you may see that they position their computer facing away from you, and they would never do that before.

#13 Grooming habits.
  Hitting the gym, wearing new clothes and perfume are all signs your partner wants to look better. But are they going overboard with their appearances? Has your partner started grooming themselves down there meticulously all of a sudden, even though they aren’t keen on doing something with you?
#14 Sneaking away. 
Does your partner sneak out of the house every now and then, using the silliest of excuses? “I’m driving down to the store to get something…” “My friends are catching up around the corner…” “I’m bored, I’m going for a drive…” or something along those lines?
That’s alright though. But when you offer to tag along, what does your partner say? Do they make an excuse to go alone? That’s fishy, don’t you think? 

4 shady and sneaky unethical ways to catch a cheating lover
Now the earlier 14 signs would definitely help you find out if your partner’s cheating on you with someone else. But if you want to nail them, you’re going to have to catch them in the act. And there’s no way you can do that unless you walk in on your partner with the person they’re cheating on you with. But if you do choose to go spy-mode and use a few unethical ways, here are four ways to nail your partner’s cheating backside in no time.
But try these ways only if you’re already certain your partner’s cheating on you. These steps are great to catch them, but if they aren’t cheating on you and it was just a false alarm, your partner may feel extremely hurt by your actions!

#15 Hidden cameras. 
Place a spycam in the room where your partner hangs out most often when they want alone time. If they’re over the phone or doing some funny business behind your back, you’ll know soon enough.

#16 Create a fake profile. 
Create a fake profile and log on to websites that promote cheating spouses and see if your partner’s using one of them. Or for starters, just create a fake facebook profile and add a lot of random friends to make your account seem legitimate.
And then, send an invite to your partner and get friendly with them. And over a few days or weeks, start flirting with them and see how they respond to you. Are they interested in meeting up or hooking up?

#17 Keyloggers.
 Keyloggers are software that you can download off the net *some free and some for a price*. Some of these keyloggers, especially the paid versions, can be installed in a computer and the person using it would never know it’s running in the background.
These programs can record whatever you want, the passwords they use, the letters they type, the pages they visit, or even record a video of the screen as they use the computer. You can also download a few paid apps over your phone and install a secret app in your partner’s phone to keep track of their calls too.

#18 GPS device. 
Are you the one who wants to catch your partner red handed? Then the stalker mode may work for you! Pick up a tiny GPS device that can be fixed to the underside of your partner’s car. You can track their movements and pounce on them when their pants are around their ankles in a sleazy motel out of town!

Steps to Take to Tell Your Partner You’re Unhappy

Relationships aren’t always going to be fine and dandy 100% of the time. When you need to voice your concerns, here’s how you should go about it.

When a person realizes that he or she is no longer happy in a relationship, they will start to think of ways in order to fix the problem. When they can’t do it on their own, they will turn to their partner and voice out their concerns. As easy as that sounds, not many people use that option.
A lot of times, people allow the relationship to deteriorate to the point of no return, just because they were too afraid to tell their partner that they were unhappy in the first place.

Why are people afraid to talk to their partner?
A person can become unhappy in a relationship for a number of reasons. It differs from person to person and can be caused by different circumstances. When you arrive at a point where you realize that you can’t find the joy in your relationship anymore, you start to think about why it’s happening.
When you realize that you can’t fix it by yourself, you start to question whether the relationship is going to survive. This is the time when you’re supposed to talk to your partner and tell them how you’re feeling.
Many people refuse to talk about their feelings not because they’re afraid. It’s usually because they feel confused and don’t know how to handle the situation. It’s not just about what they want. Once they start to air out their concerns, it will become a problem for both of them.

The consequences of speaking up
Although it’s helpful to talk about your problems, telling your partner that you are dissatisfied with your relationship can be very emotionally taxing. Some people refuse to tell their partner their feelings because they fear that they might hurt them. Others will try to push it aside thinking that the problem might go away on its own.
Most of these doubts come from their assumptions about what will happen once they tell their partner the truth. It’s understandable that their partner will feel hurt or even lash out once the reality of the situation hits them.
Sometimes knowing what exactly will happen can be scarier than not knowing at all. Are you capable of telling the truth no matter how much it might hurt your partner? Are you prepared to face the consequences in case they decide to break up with you after you tell them?
So many things can happen once the subject of your connection and happiness is questioned. It all depends on what you want to do with this information. Do you want to tell your partner you’re unhappy so you can fix it? Or do you want to tell them because you want some space? Before you decide to tell them how you feel, you have to think about what you want in the long run.
There’s no easy way to tell your loved one that you are not happy. The point of being in a relationship is to be with another person for the sole purpose of growing together and enjoying the moments you have together.

How to tell your partner that you’re unhappy
If the set-up is making you unhappy, then there is definitely something wrong with your connection to your partner. The only way you can fix it is by telling your partner how you feel and what you want to do about it. This will give them the chance to think about what they want as well and whether they feel the same way you do.

#1 Think about why you’re unhappy. 
Before telling your partner that you are having some doubts about the state of your relationship, consider first why you feel this way. You can’t just tell them that you suddenly started feeling disconnected from them. You have to assess your own feelings so that you can process it together.

#2 Think of what you’re going to say. 
Don’t just present the problem to your partner and wing it. When you just blurt it out, your partner may not completely understand what you want to accomplish. If there’s any misunderstanding, the situation will be that much harder to fix

#3 Prepare yourself for anything that can happen. 
 Your partner may cry, get angry or even hurt you with their words. Finding out that the person you love is no longer happy can be very painful. Rational thinking might get thrown out the window because both your emotions are on overdrive.

#4 Be the bigger person. 
No matter what happens, don’t get baited into a fight. This conversation needs to happen and its purpose is to be honest with your partner. It is not meant to put the blame on anyone because you are both responsible for the relationship’s success. Be calm and explain yourself clearly. Don’t use harsh words and always be mindful of your partner’s feelings.

#5 Don’t leave anything out.
 Once your partner starts to get emotional, you might find yourself reluctant to say anything else. That’s a bad idea because not discussing the problem would mean that you caused your partner unnecessary pain. You started it, so you better finish it.

#6 Ask your partner what they want to do.
  Although you have your own views on how things should progress, you need to ask your partner what they want. Respect whatever it is they need. They may choose to end the relationship or work harder at it. Either way, you need to discuss it thoroughly before taking matters into your own hands.

#7 Tell them what you want.
It’s a two-way street. The reason that you’re unhappy is because you want something that isn’t there. It could be affection, sex, more time together, more time apart or just about anything. If you don’t want to break up and they do, make them see that it’s not the solution you’re hoping for. If you want to break up and they don’t, make them understand why it’s better that way.

#8 Get closure. 
Don’t let the fight drag on for days or months. Make sure that you said everything that you needed to say. Allow them to tell you how they feel as well. If they need more time, give it to them. Just don’t let the issue die down without being resolved. Sweeping the problem under the rug gives it a potential to haunt you again in the future.

#9 Check on your partner. 
 After talking about it, always check to see how your partner is doing. See if they are taking it well or if they’re starting to formulate new solutions. Remember that their happiness is at stake too.

#10 Review your relationship. 
If you chose to find a way to be happy again with your partner, observe the changes in your relationship. See if your discussion has helped in improving your feelings and connection. If nothing changes, you may need to discuss it again. If that fails, you may need to consider fixing the problem while you’re apart.
The mere fact that you managed to talk about your problem with your partner can be a very big help. You can breathe easier knowing that you told the truth about how you feel. Some truths can hurt the people you love, but being honest about how you see the relationship is something that needs to be dealt with.