How to Love Again After Being Hurt

It’s easy to think you’re a failure after a failed romance. But learn to take that leap of faith by understanding how to love again after being hurt.

 

So you were in a relationship, and now it’s all over.
You may have assumed that it would last forever.
Or perhaps, you had happy thoughts and dreams about your perfect relationship until the moment it ended heavily on your heart.
Life after a breakup can feel terrible, especially if you didn’t want the relationship to end or if you’ve been cheated on.
But what’s important now is to understand how to love again and get back on your feet.
You didn’t stop walking just because you fell down as a child, did you? Or did you stop playing a game or driving around in your car because you screwed up at some point?
Life isn’t perfect. It’s the little imperfections that make live perfect.
You wouldn’t know happiness if you don’t understand pain. And you won’t understand true love without understanding how a broken heart could feel like.

How to love again after being hurt
While this may sound like a consolation, this really isn’t. It’s the truth.
Life is unpredictable and doesn’t always plan out just like you wanted or expected. Learn to deal with the losses and cherish the happy experiences, and learn from your experiences.
Don’t give up on love because of a broken heart or because you think it’ll cause you pain. Bad relationships cause pain, not love. Remember that.
A break up is like a doorway into another relationship. How long it takes you to open that door is up to you. But at some point, you have to brace yourself and open that door and meet someone else.

Have you given up on love?
Almost all the time, many lovers who endure bad relationships and failed romances give up on ever finding true love. They just assume love doesn’t exist, and think it’s something all people call a relationship where two people put up with each other and sacrifice their happiness for the other person.
It’s an easy way to squirm out of a situation where you may partly be at fault. Denying that love exists is a coward’s way of lying to the world that they failed or haven’t met anyone who’s worth living for.
If you can’t find love in your own life, stop trying to make yourself feel better by telling everyone else that love doesn’t exist, because it does.
If you’ve endured an unsuccessful relationship or have suffered a painful break up, take your time to get your own life back in order. And when you’re ready to look for that special someone, take a leap of faith and dive headfirst into love.

Falling in love again
If you want to know how to love again and experience a better relationship, here are ten steps that can help you experience a happier relationship and a better life

#1 Accept that your old relationship is history
If you want to love again someday, learn to accept that your relationship is over. Many heartbroken lovers pine and dwell over lost relationships like they’ve lost their own lives. It could feel that way, true, but it’s all in your head.
You have the choice to bring a smile back on your face if you choose to. You may feel like it’s a bad thing to be cheerful or have a good time after a breakup, especially when it’s easier to stare at a wall and sadistically feel good about the pain you’re going through.
Heal your heart in a manner that’ll work for you, but don’t spend all the time locked in isolation. Convince yourself that the relationship is over instead of holding your phone in your hand hoping your new ex will call you back and make it up with you. You could fall back into a broken relationship a million times, but you’ll never be happy. Remind yourself that it’s over. As painful as it may seem, it’ll give you the strength to move on.
So you were in a relationship, and now it’s all over.
You may have assumed that it would last forever.
Or perhaps, you had happy thoughts and dreams about your perfect relationship until the moment it ended heavily on your heart.
Life after a breakup can feel terrible, especially if you didn’t want the relationship to end or if you’ve been cheated on.
But what’s important now is to understand how to love again and get back on your feet.
You didn’t stop walking just because you fell down as a child, did you? Or did you stop playing a game or driving around in your car because you screwed up at some point?
Life isn’t perfect. It’s the little imperfections that make live perfect.
You wouldn’t know happiness if you don’t understand pain. And you won’t understand true love without understanding how a broken heart could feel like.


#2 Where did you go wrong?
The breakup may have come out of the blue or it may have been a series of little fights that led to your partner calling the relationship off and walking away. But whatever the reasons may be, even if you have no reason to blame yourself, learn from the relationship.
Did you choose the wrong partner? Were you insecure, or did you always know the relationship was doomed right from the start? Learn to read the signs of a bad relationship and make sure you don’t make the same mistakes again.
Experience is what you get when you fail at something. But it’s a valuable lesson nevertheless. So learn from your failed relationship and keep those little things in mind.

#3 Enjoy your spanking new single status
It’s a case of the grass being greener on the other side, but for once, learn to enjoy the other side of the fence. You’re single, so start loving it!
You’ve probably been in a relationship for a while, which explains why you’re heartbroken and upset. But don’t let that hold you down. Spend more time with friends of the opposite sex. They may be friends, but there’s always a teeny bit of sexual tension and flirting fun even between friends. And you could use that now to feel better about yourself.
Speak with friends of the opposite sex late into the night, call your crushes and friends that have a crush on you. You probably had to avoid these friends earlier, what with you being in a relationship and all, but now you can speak to all these people for hours. If you want to understand the secret behind knowing how to experience happiness and how to love again, always look for the silver lining in every dark cloud. Optimistic and happy people enjoy their lives no matter what hurdles they face. We really can’t say the same about the sad pessimists, can we?

How to Get Over A Crush and Have Fun Doing It

Crushes may seem like a teenage thing. But even grownups experience it all the time. Find out how to get over a crush and have fun at the same time.

 

Crushes are a rollercoaster.
For a few moments, it can make you float on cloud nine.
But for the rest of the time, it can haunt you and torment you.
Almost always, a crush can make your life miserable and bring it to a standstill.
While it’s enjoyable and exciting for a few weeks, a long term crush can bring more nervousness and pain than happiness.
And the worst part, a serious crush can also strip you off your confidence and self respect.

How to get over a crush
Most people assume that they’re in love with their crush.
But it’s not love. Really, it’s not.
It won’t be love even if your crush starts to date you.
Crushes, just like love, always starts with infatuation. And when you have a crush on someone, big chances are, you’re just madly attracted to them and nothing more.
No matter what your age, you’re definitely going to get a crush on many people in your life. If you interact with new members of the opposite sex, you may even have a new crush every week.
And guess what, people in love get crushes too!
A crush is nothing but an appreciation of beauty or certain traits that you admire in someone else, especially the opposite sex.
Getting a crush on someone is easy. But getting over a crush, well, that’s a whole new story.

Tips to get over a crush and have fun doing it!
For some people, getting over a crush is easy. You like someone, and then you forget all about it.
But for many people, a crush is more serious. You may like someone and see them now and then. And each time you see them, you start to like them a little more.
Having an uncontrollable crush on someone is never good, especially if you can’t handle it or if it interferes with your daily life.
If you have a crush on someone and feel like you need to put an end to it or deal with it in a better way, here are 10 tips to do that and have fun along the way!

#1 Start liking someone else. 
Get a crush on someone else. You have to remember that crushes are nothing but temporary moments of mad infatuation. Just start finding someone else attractive and desirable and you’ll completely overcome your earlier crush.
Anyone with a bit of experience with getting over crushes will tell you that the easiest way to get over a crush is to get a new crush on someone else. Pretty soon, you’ll just get over any crush you have whenever you want to.

#2 Talk about your crush with your friends.
 Sometimes, an addiction can be overcome when you fill yourself up to the brim and feel sick about it. It’s like getting drunk and suffering a hangover the next morning. Don’t bottle your feelings up and assume they’ll go away. Sometimes, they’ll just secretly grow inside of you. Instead, talk about it like it’s a funny and trivial affair so you start to treat it like it’s nothing more than a little crush.

#3 Don’t think about your crush. 
Talk about your crush with your friends, but don’t think of this person when you’re alone. Spending hours fantasizing about your hopeless romance will take you nowhere. If you find yourself getting distracted by thoughts of your crush, occupy yourself with a good game or a show on the telly.

#4 Speak to your crush. 
 The most painful of crushes are the ones that are never spoken about. If you want the crush to wane away, brave yourself up and strike a conversation with your crush. When you start talking to your crush after getting introduced by someone else, you may start to realize that your crush isn’t such a fine catch anyway!

#5 Ask your crush out on a date.
  If your crush accepts your proposal, it’s even better. If they decline you, you can force yourself to move on. Crushes are little fantasies that we create in our head to make ourselves happy. When you do ask a crush out, you’ll be forced to face reality and ask yourself if you really do want to date them after all.

#6 Flirt with someone else. 
Start flirting with someone else, be it a friend or another crush. You’ll almost always forget about your crush as soon as you start having a good time with someone else.

#7 Don’t revolve your world around your crush.
Would your crush like the new dress you’re picking up? Would your crush like your new hairstyle or bag the next time you bump into them? Seriously, stop obsessing about your crush and revolving your world around them. I’m telling you again, just get a crush on someone else or meet someone who likes you too.
Avoid stalking your crush online on facebook or in real life. It may seem like fun for a few moments, but it’ll always make you feel like a lost cause once the distraction is gone.

#8 Don’t place your crush on a pedestal. 
Watch your crush and see their flaws. Could you really date someone like this? When you genuinely test both your compatibilities and are convinced that you can’t really date this person in reality, you’ll realize that this person you like is just a little crush who is of no importance in your real life.

#9 Make someone else get a crush on you. 
Make eye contact with someone else. Create little moments that excite you and make butterflies flit in your stomach. This new person doesn’t have to look as attractive as your crush. They only need to give you the attention you need and crave. When you find this new person exchanging glances with you, you’ll think better about yourself, feel more confident and get over your crush too.

#10 Deal with it. 
 Always avoid the mystery of the scary “what might have been”. Do something about your crush, get an answer and move on. Unless you deal with your big crush in some manner, you’ll always have a crush and a big regret. End it by confessing or getting over it. You’ll feel so much better for the rest of your life. Or years later, you’ll still find yourself spending several minutes now and then wondering about “what if…” and “why didn’t I take a chance…”
If you have a crush on someone and you’re having a hard time getting over it, let the word get out that you like this person. If you don’t have the confidence to ask them out directly, ask a good friend to drop the word to a common friend, and see how your crush reacts. As with everything in life, sometimes hearing the truth from the horse’s mouth is always the best solution.

Just use these 10 tips on how to get over a crush and you’ll definitely feel a lot better about yourself, and get your life back in order too. And the next time you get a crush on someone else, you’ll learn to enjoy it instead of regretting it!

Why People in Happy Relationships Still Cheat?

You’d think that a happy relationship would control a wandering eye. But there are some surprising reasons why people still choose to cheat.

Just when you thought that cheating while in a happy relationship wasn’t possible, science – specifically, the social sciences – has once again shown us that not everything you thought you knew is true. People are still likely to cheat even when they’re perfectly happy with their partners. Some even go so far as to search for their own affairs. Is it a secret desire or is it just human nature? That’s what we’re here to find out.
When researchers announced that 80% of divorces were due to cheating, no one was surprised. They assumed that something was wrong with the marriages and that’s why they failed. A recent study managed to shock everyone, when it said that 56% of men and 34% of women in happy marriages cheat.
If you read those papers and saw the confirmation with your own eyes, wouldn’t you start to think that there’s even less hope for a happily ever after now that you know that happy people still cheat? I’m not going to say “yes” or “no” to that, but I will talk about why it does happen. Before I do that, let’s discuss how these “happy people” described their relationships.

What’s in a happy relationship?
A happy relationship cannot be defined as a bond shared by two people in absolute bliss. A happy relationship is simply something that is shared by two people who have the capacity to prioritize the value of their relationship over trivial things. Being in a happy relationship means that everyone involved is content with their career, families and their sex life. It’s a scenario where you can actually ask yourself, “What more do I want?”
You’re attracted to your partner. You have amazing sex lives. You don’t want for money. The power positions in the house is equal and unintimidating. It’s the perfect scenario, but the struggle for contentment reaches its peak when one or the other decides to engage in an affair.
An unhappy relationship would be one that still has a few kinks to iron out. There could be an underlying problem that involves money, pride, personal demons or even an external influence like family members or friends. People expect these types of relationships to experience infidelity, but they never think that people who are content in their relationships would do so.

So why do happy people end up cheating?
If you look at it from a moral standpoint, anyone who cheats is always in the wrong. But what got them there in the first place? If the sex is good, why cheat? If you don’t feel intimidated by your partner, why cheat? Apparently, it’s not an isolated incident, but it isn’t a general consensus either.
People cheat for different reasons. When they’re in a happy relationship, those reasons tend to garner less sympathy. So what are those reasons?
#1 Genetics. Apparently, there’s something called a “cheating gene” out there. There aren’t many studies about it, but one study has confirmed that the people with said gene are more likely to cheat or refrain from engaging in serious or monogamous relationships.

#2 Better than great sex.
 People have different tastes when it comes to sex, but those interests are rarely realized in committed relationships. Extreme fetishes are less likely to surface when two people are completely happy with the way things are going in their relationship. Happy people will cheat to try new things, but it doesn’t mean that they want to get rid of their current relationship.

#3 Cheating parents.  
As much as we want to believe that we won’t make the same mistakes our parents made, it always seems to overtake our common sense in the end. Conditioning has shown us that it’s a possible scenario, and the certain steps taken to prevent what your parents did aren’t enough to actually avoid doing it.

#4 Romance.
Yes, happy relationships are still brimming with romance. But if someone comes along and makes you feel hotter and more passionate than the way you do with your current partner, cheating suddenly becomes an option.


#5 The thrill. 
If you don’t have the means to go sky-diving, you may end up cheating on your partner. A happy relationship can sometimes become monotonous. Happy doesn’t equate to boring, but the line starts to get blurry when you stay with someone long enough without anything new happening.

#6 No accountability. 
No matter how happy a person is, when the opportunity presents itself to cheat without any repercussions, it’s possible that they will go for it. If the person cheating is someone who does not put too much value on their morality, their illicit activities won’t give them any problems as long as they’re absolutely sure that they won’t get caught.

#7 Past lovers. 
You’re right in being apprehensive about a partner spending time with their ex. An inappropriate level of frequency and context of meetings could likely end up in an affair, because they have history, are both adults with raging hormones and can resolve themselves to the fact that it can happen because they’ve done it before.

#8 The opportunity is there. 
We may be human beings with the power of thought and free will, but a good percentage of our body is still made up of the same biological elements as animals. If we are easily aroused by normal triggers like the nakedness of a person or tactile stimulation, there’s no saying if we have the ability to stop ourselves from having an affair or not. 
Defending people who have the capacity to take the moral high ground is a moot point, because cheating can happen when you least expect it. It’s not inevitable, but it is possible. There are no prevention methods when it comes to cheating that’s not premeditated. The best thing you can do is hope that fate doesn’t intervene and give your partner ample opportunity to cheat.

So, is there no hope for your happy relationship?
Of course, there’s hope. I’m just spouting off statistics, but the point of this article is to open your mind to that certain possibility. If it does happen, don’t blame yourself. You did your best. You did not do anything wrong.
The reason why it happens more often that we realized is because the people who cheat in happy relationships have weakness in their integrity. An event in their past might trigger a change in attitude when they experience something similarly traumatic. They might be having a bad day and was just at the wrong place at the wrong time.
The point is that a person who cheats has no one to blame but themselves. If they decide to have an affair, it’s because they weren’t able to consider what they were sacrificing in the process. They will make excuses once they are caught, or else they will do everything in their power to hide what they did. If you don’t want that to happen, find someone who has proven themselves to be worthy of your loyalty and trust.

9 Signs You’re Finally Ready for a New Relationship

Starting to date again before you’re ready can lead to unresolved issues and broken hearts. Here’s how to know if you’re ready to take that leap.

After the post-breakup slump, you may not be sure if you’re ready to dive right into a new relationship. You may be dating around and mingling with other singles, but it can be hard to tell if you’re looking to get into your next serious relationship or just trying to fill the void your last relationship left.
Everyone has different ways of coping with the end of a relationship. And everyone spends different amounts of time dealing with the end and healing on their own. But when it comes to entering a new relationship, how can you know if you’re truly ready to accept someone new into your life?

Are you ready for a new relationship?
Only you will be able to tell if it’s time for you to start building a new relationship. But if you’re looking for signs, it won’t be in big bold letters telling you that you’re ready. It’s these signs you should be checking for.
#1 You’re no longer angry. 
 One of the ways we cope with grief is by lashing out and expressing our anger at either the person who caused the grief or at the situation itself. It’s not unheard of to be angry at your ex, but it’s not healthy to dwell on the anger either. One sure way you can tell that you’re emotionally equipped for a new relationship is when you no longer feel the gripping anger that often comes with a relationship that ended badly.

#2 You’re not comparing new people with your ex. 
 Playing the comparison game is a sign that you may not be completely over your ex. Whenever you’re out on a date with someone, do you notice the little things your date does that reminds you of your ex? Do you turn your ex into a yardstick with which you see how other potential partners measure up? Are you out with this person solely because they remind you of your ex?
There may be times when you can’t help but make a bit of a comparison, and that’s fine. What you should look out for, however, is when you’re always trying to pit this new person against your ex. If you still do this, or if you can’t seem to help it, then you may need some more time to let go of the past.

#3 You’ve found the time to enjoy your singlehood. 
 Not a lot of people give themselves enough time to enjoy being single, because they let their loneliness push them into entering a new relationship immediately. But genuinely trying to enjoy being unattached can be very helpful in making you a more well-adjusted person.
This is the time when you can do pretty much whatever you want to do, without answering to a significant other. You can do things alone and be secure. This allows you to foster independence, while also showing you that being single isn’t such a bad thing. Taking the time to enjoy this phase lets you focus more on the things you want, without looking to a partner for guidance.

#4 You’re not just trying to fend off loneliness.
  Lots of rebound relationships start off with at least one lonely person who’s desperate to find someone to keep their loneliness at bay. This may sometimes help with the healing process, but it often makes you depend on another person too much. Loneliness may not be a good feeling, but you shouldn’t just rush into the arms of some willing new potential partner just to get rid of it.
Being lonely after a breakup is normal. You may feel like the floor has just been swept under you, as you become painfully aware of how alone you are. But being alone also has its good points, since you can get to know yourself better. And speaking of being alone…

#5 You’re yourself again.
 People inevitably change whenever they enter into a new relationship. Little habits, thoughts and opinions are shared between two people, and it fuses with their personality. You may even let your role as someone’s significant other mold you into who you are now. For instance, you may be the “one of the guys girlfriend” or the “nurturing, motherly girlfriend” or “Mr. romantic funny guy.”
But once the relationship ends, you need to be able to revert back to your old, single self. Your persona should no longer be dependent on the relationship you were in. You should also no longer be defined by the end of your relationship. Until you reach that point where your past relationship is shelved as just one of your life experiences, you still need to work on freeing yourself from the influence of that relationship.


#6 You’re emotionally available.
 When you find someone you might like, you should be able to fully invest your emotions in that person. You must feel free to love because you want to, and not because you want to fill the void that your ex left.
In addition, you should also be entering into a new relationship because you want to, and not because you feel that it’s the key to getting over your ex. If you do enter a new relationship before you’re ready, you may end up just rehashing your old issues and projecting them onto your new significant other. Not only does this hinder your healing process, but you may also end up hurting someone.

#7 You’re learning to trust again.
Trust issues, at least when it comes to relationships, usually occur when an ex has lied to you. It can be outright infidelity or it can be a lie about something important to you, such as finances or secrets from your ex’s past. Now, we know for a fact that when our trust in someone is broken, it can be very hard to rebuild. But another thing about trust is that issues about it can carry over to future relationships.
Guarding your heart against being hurt is normal. But guarding it so much that you’re pushing people away to the point of emotional unavailability means that you’re not yet ready to give your heart to someone new. There are a lot of ways you can address your trust issues, so it would be best to go over those first before starting a new relationship.

#8 There are no more What Ifs.
The “What If” phase often occurs during the bargaining phase of grief. You think of all the things you could have done differently. You think of things you could still do to maybe salvage what’s left of your shattered relationship. You’re basically imagining scenarios that will probably never happen.
That desire to turn back the clock and make things right is a sign that you’re stuck in the past. You’re still using up energy to dredge up all the things that happened when you could be out there, looking to the future. Once you accept that things happened the way they happened, then you’ll be able to learn from the experience, get over it and move forward.

#9 You find that you can be genuinely happy for your ex. 
 Despite what happened between you, whether it was great, okay or downright awful, you can still find it within yourself to be happy for your ex. You’re not viciously stalking them and hoping they fail at everything. Instead, you’ve learned to be passively indifferent to what your ex is up to.
And once you find that they’re happy with a new significant other, you don’t feel jealous or bitter. You don’t hope it all comes crumbling down. What you do feel is a sense of calm as you hope your ex can be happy for you, too.

Dating Moves That Seem Awkward But Are Pretty Cute

Haven’t you heard? Awkward is the new sexy! Here are some awkward moves that might just work on the person you want to flirt with.

Awkwardness can be pretty subjective. When a person doesn’t like you, and you do something strange, it looks awkward. On the other hand, if someone likes you, they may think your little quirks are cute, if not endearing.
We live in a time when awkwardness is no longer seen by society as something to avoid. With adorably goofy celebrities like Tom Hiddleston, Jennifer Lawrence, Zooey Deschanel and Emma Stone, what was once considered awkward is now a unique quirk that tells people you’re not prim and proper and full of yourself. Awkwardness shows people that you’re human, free to make mistakes, and free to look cute while you’re at it.
Awkward moves that are actually kind of cute
In the dating world, there will always be some semblance of nervousness. You want your date to like you, but you don’t want to look like you have a stick up your butt. So what’s the perfect balance? Become endearingly awkward with these moves!

#1 Asking to kiss. 
 One dating move that is awkward but also cute, is when a guy literally asks you if he can kiss you. When a guy does this, it catches you off guard because let’s be honest, you’re probably not used to a guy actually asking you if it’s okay if he kisses you, because you’re probably more used to a guy just assuming he can take and have whatever he wants.
If a guy asks you if he can kiss you, it means he’s actually thought about kissing you already, probably rehearsed asking you if he can a gazillion different ways, and also has enough respect for you to not assume he can just put his mouth on you and you’ll like it.

#2 “Lady and the Tramp” moment. That means you and your date are eating some sort of pasta dish, and you both eat the same noodle from different ends and eventually end up kissing once you have eaten the entire noodle. The odds are slim that this might happen, but if it does, you can be pretty sure it’ll be an adorable moment!
#3 Car trouble. I should start by saying that this one probably doesn’t occur often, if it ever does. I’m including it on this list because it actually happened to me, was a very awkward moment, but made me find my date so much more attractive. Basically we were driving down the road, and he kept looking at me instead of paying attention to what was in front of us, and he ended up slightly hitting the car at the stoplight in front of us.
I by no means condone getting into automobile accidents, but it was what he said after he bumped the car in front of us that made me find this awkward situation cute. Instead of him getting upset and crying about his car, he immediately said something like “You’re just too pretty, I couldn’t pay attention to the road, and now look what happened.” I didn’t really know what to say because I immediately started laughing, which made the whole situation awkward, but cute. In a very weird way.

#4 Faking needing a different opinion. 
 This move is strange and very bold, but I happen to think it’s adorable. It goes like this: If you are at a grocery store, and a guy walks over to you holding two different bouquets of flowers. He asks you which one you like better, because he’s got a date tonight, and he wants a female’s opinion. Later on, he’s there waiting for you in the parking lot, and he’ll walk up to you and hand you those flowers, saying you’re his date.
Yes, maybe it’s arrogant for him to assume you will go on a date with him, but a guy with confidence is sexy. It’s definitely an awkward dating move, but admit it, your heart would melt if this happened to you!

#5 Getting all cooking channel on you. 
 Whether either of you are a chef or someone who can’t fry an egg to save your life, cooking is something that will be appreciated any time. If you just so happen to be someone who can’t tell a santoku knife from a paring knife, then any attempt at cooking to impress your date can be pretty awkward. But the attempt itself will be endearing. It’s the thought that counts, right?


#6 Dancing or trying. 
 There aren’t too many places these days where you can go on a date and slow dance. I don’t mean like grinding-style dancing, but actually dancing, using all the skills you learned as a debutante or taking cotillion growing up. But if you do happen to be on a date with a guy at a place that has slow dancing, it’s very romantic, at least one would think.
It’s not exactly romantic if the guy asks you if you would like to dance, to have you both get up from your table and head to the dance floor, to realize your date doesn’t know how to dance whatsoever. Awkward, yes. But certainly cute that he tried!

#7 Sharing makeup.
 Usually this doesn’t happen, and if it does happen, it’s safe to say you’ve probably been dating the guy for quite some time. I know reading this, you’re probably thinking what the heck, but I can’t help but think it’s cute in some weird way. I never had dated a guy who wore makeup, but apparently straight guys do wear cover-up. And most guys don’t necessarily own makeup, but should you ever offer to hide a zit or blemish for your guy, he probably doesn’t say no.
So if you and your guy have had a big date night planned for a while, but he happens to get a breakout and asks if you’ll cover it up for him, remember that its more cute than awkward, because he trusts you and loves you so much that he wants to be zit free while you’re facing each other on your romantic evening. Sharing makeup with your girlfriends is one thing, but sharing it with your boyfriend is a whole other level. Oh, the places you’ll go!

#8 Accidentally saying I love you. 
 Sometimes we can’t help our excitement when we feel so strongly about someone or something. But one situation that we all probably fear the most when it comes to dating and being in a relationship is saying the L word too soon. To be fair, there is never the perfect time, and there is no rule or right or wrong time in a relationship to actually say it, but instead it’s more about how you feel and when you know, you just know.
What makes saying these 3 words more terrifying is wondering what the other person will do and how they will react. Accidentally letting the L word slip out can be pretty awkward and embarrassing, but it’s also something that most girls probably find cute. What girl doesn’t want to know they are loved?

#9 Mr. Clean.
 If you’re at your date’s house, only to have him stop mid-make out so that he can take a shower really quick, your date is weird. His reasoning is that he needs to take a shower, because he always takes showers after being out because he never goes to bed dirty. It’s a huge buzzkill, yes. But just think of how highly he thinks of you that he feels the need to take a shower to clean himself up!
Awkward moments are, in all honesty, a great way to become closer. One of you may end up with a head-in-your-hands moment, but in the end, it’s great to have something to laugh about when you look at your early moments together!

Reasons Why Your Breakup May Be The Best Thing That Ever Happened To You

Breakups hurt. A lot. They’re painful and unsettling, and sometimes, they seem almost impossible to get through. But one of the best ways to survive a breakup is to pay attention to the good that can come out of it. If you’re searching, you’ll find it.

1. You’re figuring out now, rather than years down the line, that this person was not right for you. 

Just because you’re in an extreme amount of pain doesn’t mean this person was the one for you. It’s better to go through this now than to build a life together, only to discover that you’re not right for one another.

2. It teaches you that your self-worth does not come from being loved by another person.

 Being loved by another person is a beautiful, precious, and amazing feeling. But it does not validate your existence or give your life meaning. Breaking up with someone, though it will be extremely difficult, will also show you that with or without them, you still contribute to the world, you still have people in your life that love you, you still need to get out of bed in the morning. You probably won’t feel this way in the beginning, but with time, you will learn that you have purpose and dignity simply by being a living, breathing human being.

3. You often discover new hobbies or passions that you wouldn’t have found otherwise. 

 Maybe they will change your life and your career path, maybe they won’t. But either way, they will only contribute to your happiness and help you on your path to fulfillment. Whether your heartbreak leads to tap dancing or improv classes or a dodgeball league, it will only help to remind you that there are so many things you can do with your time besides sulking in bed. Granted, you may need to give yourself some sulking time in the beginning. And that’s fine, as long as you don’t allow yourself to drown in your grief.

4. You develop a much deeper sense of empathy for others. 

 After you’ve gone through a tremendous amount of pain yourself, it’s easier to understand and connect with someone who is suffering. Maybe you have never gone through exactly what they’re going through, but you do understand what it’s like to feel helpless, alone, scared, distraught, and just about every other negative emotion you can think of. You don’t need to go through the exact same situation as someone else to be able to understand how to help them and how to make them feel less alone.

5. You learn what the phrase “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger” actually means.

 While this breakup is not going to kill you, it will get pretty damn close. It’s not something you bounce back from, but is instead more of a slow, steady crawl. But with every inch, slow as it may be, you really will get stronger.

6. A breakup reminds you that so many of the things that you used to worry about are actually extremely trivial.

 After you’ve gone through an emotionally trying time, you learn that pretty much everything people worry about and/or obsess over is stupid. Clothes, social media, job rankings, social status. This breakup will open your eyes up in a way you could have never imagined.

7. You learn how to cook for one. 

 Sounds depressing, but having a large amount of leftovers in your fridge is a game chager, in the best way possible.

8. You (eventually) learn that an entire world exists outside of the one in your own head.
In the world we live in, it’s no surprise that we often get accidentally self-absorbed in our own world and our own problems. But when you’re heartbroken, and everything seems dark, and then you realize that everyone around you is still functioning and doing things and maintaining emotional stability, you get the necessary reminder that the world does not revolve around you and your problems. A harsh – but good – lesson to go through.

9. It helps you to understand who you are when you’re not in a relationship.
 It’s easy to use a relationship to categorize yourself. You’re somebody’s boyfriend or girlfriend or fiancé or even spouse. Soon that becomes the most important, and often only, way to label yourself. But when you’re alone again, you discover that it’s not necessary to label yourself at all. You’re not a significant other. You’re a person, ever-changing. Constantly growing. Consistently shaping yourself. You can be in a relationship, a very important one. But it does not make up who you are.

10. It teaches you that you can actually put up with a lot more than you originally thought.

  You don’t fully comprehend how strong you are, physical and mentally and emotionally, until you go through something that turns your world upside down. And once you do go through it, and get through it, you learn that you’re much more tough than you originally believed yourself to be.

 11. You find yourself making deeper connections with other people.
People that see you in pain often become more willing to open up to you, to share with you the things they’ve been through, and to show you that it’s possible to get through anything.

12. You appreciate the light moments so much more.
 When your friend makes you laugh so much that you spit out your drink, or the weather outside is particularly sunny that day, you appreciate it so much more when you’re in pain than when you’re not. Because you need it more.

13. You find the friends who you can truly count on during difficult times. 

 It’s nice to have friends you can hang out with at work, or go to happy hour with, or reunite with at wedding or parties. But the ones who are your true friend-soulmates are the ones who are going to wipe snot from your nose when you’re balling on their couch on a Friday night.
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Things Guys Don’t Really Care About in a Relationship

 The statement, ‘Do what you want,' really means just that when a guy says it. There is no hidden agenda or secret read-between-the-lines meaning that you have to search for. Although we do know what men want - most of the time - there are some things that men just don't care about. And by that they don't mean that they don't care about it in a mean, non-caring manner, just that it doesn't figure in their priority list. So save yourself the trouble and let go of these 15 things that men genuinely don't care about.

If you aren’t a neat freak:
Monica isn’t really all that fun a person to live with. So if you have clothes lying on the floor when he is coming over, don’t panic. His home is in a worst state.
Hopefully this will put a lot of us at ease. Guys admit to not really caring about those smile lines or tiny wrinkles around your eyes. They aren’t the overly critical beings that we are, so chances are till you point them out, they haven’t really noticed them. So quit with the extra make up to cover them.

Your conflicting hobbies: 
They don’t mind if you think that their gaming obsession is silly. They secretly think that your book hoarding habits are equally bad but they are willing to live with it because what’s life without a little dose of silly.

 That extra flab:
 We tend to notice even the minutest of changes in our bodies. Honestly that zit on your face or an extra kilo here and there is not even something that they notice.

Chipped nail polish:
Or not so perfect eyeliner. Or just make up in general. Men generally don’t register these tiny imperfections that are like religion to us.

 Branded bottoms: 
Most men can’t tell brands so if you walk out looking like a million bucks in a dress picked from a local shop, chances are he won’t know, or care. As long as you are comfortable in what you are wearing, they don’t really bother about the labels.

 How soon you jump in bed: 
While it’s always a good idea to get to know the guy before you jump in between the sheets, there is no set timeline as to when it is okay to have sex. If you respect yourself, you will automatically get it from him too regardless of whether you jump in bed with him before or after a set period of time.

 Which place you choose for dinner:
As long as it serves beer and screens the on-going match, they are quite okay with the places you choose for date time. In fact they are also okay with hanging around the house and ordering in. So on days when you just don’t feel like dressing up, a romantic date at home will not leave him disappointed either.

 What his friends think of you: 
Barring a few really close buddies, guys generally won’t care what their guy gang thinks of you. As long as they enjoy your company, they are okay with their pals having their own opinion. So don’t beat yourself up overthinking last weekend’s conversations and what you could have and should have said instead.

 If you aren’t a neat freak: 
Monica isn’t really all that fun a person to live with. So if you have clothes lying on the floor when he is coming over, don’t panic. His home is in a worst state.

How To Step Out Being Gay

College is a chance for new starts, new friends, new experiences, and a place where you're primed for reinvention and self-discovery. Managing this major life transition is tough enough all on its own, but gay women have a second set of issues to work through, like…is it safe to come out? Is my roommate queer-friendly? Where can I look to for support, if and when I need it? Those are all normal, totally valid things that you're probably thinking about as you head back to school, and while I can't predict the future, I can share some knowledge about what you can do to prepare yourself. From one graduate gay girl to another, here's the advice I wish I'd had when I was coming out.


Scope everything (and everyone) out.
During your first few weeks of class, you'll probably end up hanging with the immediate acquaintances and cling to them for dear life because, no doubt, this is a freaky and unnerving time for anyone. Maybe you'll feel compelled to come out to them immediately, and you totally can! Who knows? These might end up being your BFFs for the rest of college, and maybe for life. But they also might just be the friends you make because you're not yet comfortable exploring other options. Good news: You have plenty of time to find your people, and if the first batch doesn't seem like a community you can safely, comfortably come out to, you can absolutely move on. Your safety and acceptance are first priority, and you really don't have to be friends with everyone you meet.

Don't overthink and stress yourself out.
 It might seem easier to just stay out of conversations with straight people when they're talking about sex and relationships, because getting involved would mean outing yourself, and possibly becoming the center of attention and inviting rejection. But that is so alienating, and you're missing the opportunity to connect with people. A less stressful way to handle coming out is to just talk about your life the same way straight people talk about theirs. Remember your life isn't so different from everyone else's, and you deserve to tell your story, too."

 Don't give other people the authority to make you feel bad about yourself.
If and when you do decide to come out, remember: If someone reacts badly, it's not your responsibility to salvage that relationship. You don't have to educate anyone about your sexuality or decisions, and you certainly don't have to advocate on your own behalf. If someone makes you feel weird or bad about, that's something they have to deal with. It's not your problem to solve. Furthermore, you are not a problem to solve, and true friends accept you for exactly who and how you are. Anyone who can't do that isn't someone you need in your life.
And If someone makes you feel bad or unsafe or like you're the butt of a joke (I hate to say it, but it happens), you really don't have to stick around. During my own freshman year, I had a really miserable roommate experience before I successfully requested a switch to queer-friendly campus housing. It was worth it: I felt so much happier, and I never saw the bullies who bashed me ever again.

 Don't shy away from finding support.
 Coming out doesn't have to mean a big speech in front of your inner circle. For you, it could be as simple as sticking a rainbow pin on your backpack, or joining your school's Queer Student Alliance. If heading to an event on your own seems like more than you can handle, bring along a supportive friend. Added bonus: Heading to gay-focused campus events is an awesome way to engage with other students going through what you're going through, and being around these people can be intensely validating while you overcome your fears.

 Seriously. Be yourself.
 People might tell you that you're going through a phase. They might question your sexuality because you don't fit into their idea of what a gay girl is "supposed" to be. Don't listen. Don't give in. You are under no obligation to dress in any particular way, or listen to a particular type of music, or fulfill any cultural stereotypes. And if it does end up being a phase, remember that doesn't make your feelings or experiences any less valid. They happened. That's okay. You, being yourself, is and always will be more than enough.

10 Simple Ways to Be More Attractive

We want one thing common: being more attractive. But the purpose for being attractive varies. What’s yours? Well, you needn’t share! To strike your attractive physique, maintain these tips and you will be surprised seeing how magically they work!

#1 Keep Smile

Keep a smile on your face. When you smile, you look more friendly and approachable. People feel comfort to deal with you. No matter what your are feeling inside, smile!

#2 Maintain Facial Hair

It is important to take care of facial hair. Men should shave regularly. If you want to maintain long beard, you should keep that neat and trim. Women should shape eyebrows properly.

#3 Keep Hair Tip-top

Your hair is just like your crown! So take care of it. A nice look is the first step to attract someone. Get regular haircuts as it is important for your hair to be healthy. Keep your hair clean and tidy. It is really important for attractive appearance.

#4 Wear Fit Clothes

Your dress is really important. People like one who is dressed properly. So, take care of what you are wearing. Buy the clothes that fit you properly. Oversized or too tight clothes make you look odd.

#5 Maintain Proper Eye Contact

Proper eye contact is important when you are talking to someone. If you maintain eye contact properly, people will feel important and be happy. Some people feel shy to maintain eye contact. That’s not a big problem. Start with your close ones. Maintain proper eye contact while talking to them. Then, try it with strangers.

#6 Walk Confidently

Be confident while walking. Do you know how to walk with confidence? Keeping your body relaxed and holding eyes and head up help you look confident. Making you look confident is a great part of being attractive.

#6 Walk Confidently

Be confident while walking. Do you know how to walk with confidence? Keeping your body relaxed and holding eyes and head up help you look confident. Making you look confident is a great part of being attractive.

#8 Be Relaxed

Are you seared all the time thinking what others are thinking of you? If yes, you should fight to kick away this habit. Be confident and open yourself to others. Communicate with them and be easy. Nervousness isn’t liked. So, be confident and relaxed while dealing with people.

#9 Body Language

Your body language is important. If you look busy in your body language, people are likely to avoid you. They will think that you don’t want to be disturbed. But if you are easy and relaxed, people will feel comfortable to approach you.

#10 Ask Questions

Don’t try to speak about you all the time. While gossiping with someone ask questions. But don’t ask anything inappropriate. When you ask questions, people think that you are interested to know about them and they feel important.