Reasons Why You Shouldn’t Give Your Ex Another Chance

Should you? Shouldn’t you? Confused over whether you should give your ex another chance? Give these 10 reasons a thought, and you’ll know for sure!

 

Should you really get back with your ex when they try to weasel their way back into your life?
Simply put, probably not.
But then again, not every failed relationship can be categorized into a bad break up, just because circumstances forced the romance to end.
There are a number of reasons why you and your ex broke up in the first place.
Whether it be differing life goals, incompatible sex lives, or an unwillingness to meet each other’s needs and wants, there was something that came in between the two of you as a couple.

Should you give your ex another chance?
As much as some people want to ignore that plain truth, and try again, the best idea is to leave the past where it belongs, behind you.
Instead, you should take what you can from the experience and move on.
Here are 10 reasons why you should most likely not give your ex another chance. If your ex can convince you otherwise, or if you truly believe things have changed for the better *the odds are always very, very slim*, perhaps you could give them another chance.
But remember, when you get back with an ex, as good as it may feel, there’s a bigger chance that another heartbreak’s just around the corner all over again.

#1 Your ex probably hasn’t changed.
 People can be amazing talkers. But saying something, and actually doing it, are two completely different things. So if you’re hearing a lot of talk from your ex about how much they have changed, look for the proof.
Actions speak louder than words. So if your ex is expressing to you, for example, how trustworthy they have become, pay attention to how they behave when they explain themselves to you. Is their behavior and attitude trustworthy? Or, are they screening messages, and skipping around lofty details about what they’ve been up to recently?
Bottom line, if what your ex is doing isn’t lining up with what they are saying, they probably haven’t changed. If this is the case, then you most likely shouldn’t give them another chance. They obviously haven’t changed very much since your initial break up.

#2 There’s a good chance you are headed for the same problems.  
This is closely related to the earlier pointer. There’s a good chance that if your ex hasn’t changed, you are going to run into the same problems all over again.
Similar patterns are bound to reoccur if you have one individual coming into the partnership as the same person that left it. If you ex didn’t learn anything from your last relationship together, and didn’t take the time to grow as a person, and a partner, odds are you are going to have some of the same issues as the last time around.
Say, for instance, in your first relationship with each other your ex was constantly complaining about their unfortunate job situation, and refused to do anything about it. If your ex has the same job, or still refuses to actively change their future, you are going to encounter the same frustrations.
If your ex hasn’t progressed as an individual, and especially if you have, you are bound to run into similar problems in your relationship if you try again. It’s better not to relive past irritations by giving your ex another chance.

#3 Your friends might abandon you.  
This is especially dependent on the number of chances you have given your ex already. Remember that your friends often are the ones hearing all of the horrible things about your ex during, and after, your relationship.
You friends will most likely try and talk you out of giving your ex another chance, especially if they realize that your ex doesn’t deserve you. If you ignore their honest advice and go ahead and take back your ex, your friends are going to be upset.
It’s only in extreme cases that your friends may actually abandon you. More often, abandonment happens when you are giving your ex a fourth or fifth chance to show you that “things will be different”. You should trust your friends’ judgments, they know you and have stayed with you through your relationships and know what is okay and what is not.

#4 You will have to explain to your family why your ex is back in the picture. 
 This can be particularly awkward if you had a rather nasty break-up and/or your family was fairly close to your ex. They will likely know the reasons why you broke up in the first place, and probably hold a grudge against your ex.
Of course, because you are their family, you could really do no wrong. So, even if your break-up was mutual, or you were equally to blame, your family won’t see it that way.
If you give your ex another chance, your ex will ultimately have a lot of making up to do, and if your family doesn’t accept it, your relationship is going to be difficult for a whole different set of reasons.

And if your ex truly deserves a second chance, your family and friends will see this and support you. But, they might still give you a hard time at first.

#5 They have new, and more disgusting and annoying habits.
 When we love someone, we tend to let them off the hook for their nasty and irritating habits that otherwise would make us silently heave *carrying around a nail clipper as a key chain, or constantly forgetting to flush the toilet*. I don’t know what weird habits your exes have, but I’m sure they are many.
Well, these little habits could have gotten worse, or weirder with time. Or perhaps, you never noticed them in your first relationship, and now you find yourself being introduced to a number of shocking and appalling behaviors you would rather live without.

#6 Your relationship might get too comfortable, too soon. Getting comfortable too soon can relate to the particular habits discussed in #5 being revealed far too early, or a number of different things. As you’ve dated your ex before, they might automatically assume that means that you pick up the relationship where you left off.
Dirty laundry on the floor, dishes in the sink, or non-existent date nights all over again. Whatever it may be that angered you in the first relationship could start happening much sooner the second *or third, etc.* time both of you get back together.
If you do give your ex another chance, you might want to make it clear from the start that you are going to need a clean slate, and that means that you will have to take the time to get to know each other again in terms of your new relationship. If you’re honest in the beginning that things need to change, then hopefully your ex won’t get too comfortable too soon!

#7 Your ex might have new baggage.
  This can be a major reason to think twice about giving your ex another chance. Depending on how long it’s been since the two of you have broken up, or how well you’ve kept in touch, your ex might have acquired a whole new set of baggage while you were apart.
New baggage can come in many forms such as a loss, depression, a change in career *or no career at all*, family issues, physical health problems, or another relationship.
And if your ex has been dating someone else since your last breakup, there could very well be a new ex in the picture. And it’s not easy to date your ex if they’ve just come out of a relationship with their own ex, especially if their ex is persistent to stay in your ex’s life!
If it was a serious relationship, you might find that your ex is thinking of them often, instead of focusing on building your new relationship. How far you want to get into dealing with this new baggage depends on your commitment to your ex, and your new relationship together.

#8 They still aren’t willing to meet your needs and wants.
If you ex isn’t willing to meet your needs and wants, or to comprise, so that each of you is content and happy in your relationship, you should not think of giving them another chance. Identifying and living up to your partner’s basic needs and wants is a crucial part in any healthy relationship.
Your ex probably wasn’t meeting your needs and wants in your first relationship, or else, you wouldn’t have broken up. So this time around, you must make it very clear what you expect from your ex. And they should be willing to deliver.

#9 The sex is just different.
 If you’ve been apart a long time, experimenting and growing sexually in the meantime, perhaps the sex with your ex is just not going to hit that spot. If you’ve grown as an individual, not just emotionally but sexually too, you might have troubles adjusting your sex life with your ex.
If you are going to try again, you definitely need to be honest with your ex if the sex is not working for you. If you don’t feel like you can be honest, and you need to change it up as a couple, then you’re definitely not ready to be together again.
#10 You still want very different things. 
 If your life goals and dreams do not line up with your ex’s aspirations, you will most likely run into problems if you decide to give them another chance. When you are sharing your life with someone, you need to be on the same page, or at least the same book.
In order to fully support each other, both of you need to understand each other’s goals and dreams and help each other achieve them. If your ex isn’t supportive of your life goals, whether they be career, family or personal, you should not give your ex another chance.

Definitely think twice before giving your ex another chance
There are many reasons why you probably shouldn’t take your ex back. Your relationship ended because something wasn’t right, and the probability of that changing is often slim because most people are unwilling to change.
So, unless that reason you broke up with your ex was due to an unmistakable stroke of bad luck related to time and place, then no, you should not give your ex another chance.

If you’re hoping that a few changes, and a lot of compromises, can fix things to the way it once was, stop it. You are only prolonging what will eventually happen – a final break-up.
Once you leave behind the past relationship that was hurting you, or holding you back, you will be able to move forward to better things, which will be fulfilling and full of happiness.

The Step-by-Step Guide to Get Your Ex to Love You Again

Though they say that getting back with your ex is a bad idea, there are still instances when you just can’t let them go, no matter how hard you try.

 

As a word of warning to all our readers, looking to get back together with your ex needs a lot of careful consideration. After all, there is a reason you broke up in the first place. However, there’s no denying the attraction for someone you’ve once loved and may still love.
Do you miss how your ex would always make you laugh? Do you miss the warmth of your ex’s embrace? Do you long for those hours you spent talking about sweet nothings? Do your friends and family ever seem to wistfully ask why it never worked out between you two? Do you honestly believe, with all your heart, that getting back together with your ex is a perfectly sane and reasonable thing to do?

How to get your ex back
If you’ve answered “yes” to all the questions above, here’s how you can try to get back into your ex’s loving arms. Once you’ve made up your mind to try and give it another shot with a past love, you can follow these steps to ensure that you do it right.

#1 Start off with an apology.  
This would only apply if the wound of your breakup is still pretty recent. Breakups are a two-way thing. Even if it was caused by your ex, there’s still a possibility that you let go of words that you wish you could take back. To ease you back into your ex’s good graces, it’s always a good idea to apologize for the things you may have said and done to contribute to the demise of your relationship.
Be as sincere as you can be, and if possible, try to do this in person. The fact that your ex seems interested in talking to you may be a sign that there’s a possibility that they will take you back. Who knows, you might even reconcile right then and there!

#2 If the breakup isn’t recent, send your ex a text or a private message.
 Calling or just showing up at your ex’s place may be too forward and too confrontational. It might make your ex completely defensive and just shoot you down. Instead, it’s better if you send a message, just to give your ex some time to think of whether to reply or not.
If your ex replies amicably enough, then great! If not, don’t take it too personally. Your ex might be suspicious of your message. Try to send another message at another time, and keep your fingers crossed that you’ll get a response. If after about three messages spanning over the course of a week or two you still get no response, there’s a huge chance that getting back together is out of the question.

#3 Ask your ex out over the phone.
Once you get to messaging each other on a more or less regular basis, give your ex a call. It’s up to you if you want your ex to hear just how smitten you still are with hearing their voice. After the preliminary chitchat, ask your ex to hang out with you, even if it’s just as friends.
Yes, it may be deceptive to tell your ex that it’s just as friends, but immediately confessing that you’re still attracted to them might take your ex by surprise. The key here is going through the motions slowly, but surely. Also, make sure that the date has a very casual feel to it. Avoid any romantic settings. If possible, have the “friendly date” in a coffee shop or a restaurant during daylight hours.
 

#4 Reconnect with your ex’s friends.
Once you’re back to hanging out with each other, it may also be a good idea to get back in touch with your ex’s friends and family. Don’t act like your breakup never happened. Instead, act like someone who has been away for a while, but would just like to catch up. Keep your cool, and don’t act all possessive.
One of the key ways you can try to get back with your ex is by getting to their friends. Your ex may be persuaded by a friend who seems to think that you’ve changed for the better or that a second try might do you both good.

#5 Reminisce about the good times.
When you’re on your third date, or maybe even on your first, if you want to take it fast, you might want to bring up your old relationship. The way your ex responds to this prompt depends on how your relationship was. Their reaction actually clues you in on your chances of getting back together.
If they recall the good old days, they might still see you as someone they can fall back in love with. On the other hand, if your ex seems to see your relationship as a waste of time or a very trying phase in their life, then you need to work on convincing your ex that it won’t be like that the second time around.

#6 Show your ex how much you’ve changed. If you’re still the same person whom your ex decided to leave, then asking for them to take you back is like asking them to go through the pointless motions all over again. You can do this by highlighting some of the things that you’ve changed for the better.
For instance, you may show signs that you’re now more sensitive to their feelings by showing empathy. You may tell your ex that you’ve decided to join a program for controlling bad habits like smoking, drinking, gambling or even anger issues. You can also talk about how you’ve decided to pursue a career. This can then make your ex consider that giving you a second chance might not be such a bad idea. [Read: How to recreate your sexual chemistry with your ex]
#7 Try to woo your ex again. Even if you show your ex that you’ve changed for the better, you also have to show that the parts your ex likes are still there. Look back at how you were able to catch your ex’s attention and use this to attract them a second time.
You may have met during a music event, and you can go to another one to relive the memories. Your ex may have fallen for your great taste in movies and literature, and you can regale them with stories of what you’ve seen and read. Maybe your ex fell in love with your carefree, devil may care attitude. You can show that side of you by going out on a spontaneous trip, but still keeping your responsibilities in mind.

#8 Emphasize why you want to get back together. 
 Throughout all these fun dates and subtly romantic hints, your ex might still not understand why you’re trying to win them back. It’s clear that you’re not just after a tumble in bed, but you have to make it clear that your intentions include getting back together.
This is ultimately all up to you and your own personal reasons. But one of the most effective things you might say is the fact that life just isn’t the same without your ex’s presence. You can explain how different it was and how much better it could be, if you were to reconcile.
Another reason you can state is that you’ve never been able to find anyone else who makes you feel the way your ex feels. Of course, you’ll have to own up to the fact that you have been dating other people. But you’re both adults and your ex is bound to understand.

#9 He or she is the one.
One of the many reasons people break up is because of commitment issues. Your ex may have left because they didn’t think you’d commit completely. You can change their mind by actually proposing marriage. And yes, even women can do this, but it takes a woman with a lot of guts to pull this off.
But before you start planning a huge proposal, you have to consider the odds that your ex may or may not accept it. Don’t use your proposal to pressure your ex, as this may just lead to you getting disappointed.

Why Your Ex Still Crosses Your Mind from Time to Time

You’ve gone through the motions of healing and moving on, but for some reason, your ex still lingers in your mind. What’s the deal?

 

You know deep inside your heart and soul that you are over your ex. You have made peace with the past, and you are even in a new, happy, and fulfilling relationship. But sometimes, you can’t help but wonder why, in spite of the time that already passed, you still remember your ex.
Does it mean you want your ex back? Are you secretly still hoping for another chance? Do you miss the times you shared with your ex? In all honesty, probably not. But the mere fact that your ex crosses your mind should mean something, right?
Why do you still think about your ex?
Don’t jump to conclusions and think that keeping your ex in your mind means the universe is telling you to give it another shot. There are rational explanations that don’t entail trying to get back together with your ex.

#1 You run in the same friendship circles. 
You both know the same group of people. It’s not uncommon that you and your ex have a lot of common friends. Sometimes, it is even through a common friend that couples meet. If this is the case, then you will come across your common friends in social media, and they might have status updates, photos, or tweets that would include your ex.
At that moment, you would be reminded of the past. It is normal and it doesn’t mean that you still have feelings for your ex. It just so happens that there are still people who mention your ex, thus making you think about your past together.

#2 “I used to order this dish here.”
  This was what my ex used to order every day! Do you find yourself remembering how many times you have eaten in this particular restaurant with your ex? Do you find your mind wandering into the past? Do you remember which dishes tasted the best and which ones you hated? It is all about the experience that you had with your ex in the restaurants that you have eaten in, especially if it was their favorite.
This is actually pretty normal. Remembering something your ex used to like doesn’t mean you’re still hung up on them. It just so happened that you recalled a fond memory of eating something with your ex, hence the flood of memories.

#3 “I was here almost a year ago.” 
With the ex. And now that you are back in the same place, you kind of had a flashback of what you did here with them. It’s okay for anyone to have flashbacks, especially if you have been to the same place several times and you’ve actually enjoyed your time there. Call it déjà vu. You may have been in the same spot with your ex before, but now you’re in the same spot with the person you’re currently with. Your mind just associates the place with a memory, and that’s why your mind gravitated towards thoughts of your ex. Just keep in mind that you made memories in this place before, but you can make new ones with the one you’re now with.

#4 You still see your ex everywhere. 
It’s impossible to see someone you know and not think about them to some extent. If you see your ex in your favorite deli or at your neighborhood dentist, you can’t just push thoughts of them to the back of your mind.Thinking about your ex is one thing. But thinking of them and how awesome it used to be and how great you were together is a whole different thing. If it’s just a passing thought that went through your head when you ran into your ex, think nothing of it. Your brain is just telling you that, yes, you used to date, but no, that doesn’t mean you want to date them again.

#5 The social media generation. 
 It is both a blessing and a curse that social media is this generation’s bible. First of all, you get to be connected with everyone and have updates about anyone, anywhere in the world. So when your ex posts something, you’re bound to see it, and to some extent, you think about what that post might mean to your ex.
This is almost the same as seeing a friend’s post and wondering what that post could mean to your friend. For all intents and purposes, as soon as you get over your ex, he or she is just another friend on your list, and nothing more. Thoughts about them bear the same weight as any other post from people on your list.

#6 The power of the senses. 
You know science is a bit tricky. Whenever you smell the same scent or hear the same music and there is a particular memory connected to it, you will be reminded of the same feelings you had when you heard or smelled it.
It could be the perfume that your ex used to wear, or your ex’s favorite song turned into a ringtone – anything can become a reminder of your ex. You can’t control these thoughts, because it’s just your brain reminding you of something from the past.
 
#7 These are a few of my favorite things. 
 Just because you broke up, doesn’t mean you have to return every single thing your ex gave you, right? So you’re bound to still keep a couple of gifts from your ex, not as mementos, but as regular items that you just happen to use.
When someone asks you where you got your Louis Vuitton bag or your PSP or that chipped mug that you always use, you can’t help but recall the fact that your ex gave it to you for your anniversary or your birthday or for Christmas a couple of years ago. You’re just remembering the origin of something you’re still using, and even if it involves your ex, it doesn’t mean you’re holding on to those items because you can’t let go of your ex.

#8 Heart to heart talks.
  We have particular moments where we open up to friends about our past relationships. And this happens a lot. It could either be for advising them or for sharing experiences from which you learned lessons from. One of these stories can be about what happened between you and your ex. If it is still difficult to talk about it, then you might not really be over your ex. But if you can casually talk about it without eliciting any feelings, then you’re good to go.
#9 The doppelganger.
 You were quietly making your way to work, sipping on your hot cappuccino, when you suddenly needed to stop. You see your ex about a couple of meters from you, ignoring you completely. You become annoyed because you both ended things peacefully and agreed to stay acquaintances.
Oh wait, but that’s not your ex. It’s just someone who looks exactly like them. So nobody is apparently avoiding or snubbing anyone. Carrying on means being reminded of your ex doesn’t bother you. If you dwell on the fact that you think you keep seeing your ex when they’re not there, then that may be some cause for concern.

#10 Events with the ex. 
 You used to go with your ex to usual friend and family affairs like holidays, birthdays and other forms of celebration. You no longer do, but sadly, not everyone got the memo. So when the next get-together comes, everyone is going to look for your ex. And you have a lot of explaining to do.
You can explain the absence of your ex in a polite and casual manner or you can go on an hour-long pity fest with whoever bothers to listen. If you end up doing the former, congratulations! You’re over your ex, and thinking about them shouldn’t be a big deal for you.

Signs Your Friends Are Ruining Your Relationship

Your friends may seem nice and trustworthy, but are your friends ruining your relationship? Use these traits to find out if they’re bad for your love.

Friends can be the best thing in the world.
But at times, they can be the worst too.
Do you find yourself jumping from one relationship to another all the time?
Do you think there’s something wrong with you?
Sometimes, it may not be you.
It may be your best friends who’re unknowingly messing your relationships up for you without your notice.

Are your friends ruining your relationship?
A long time ago, I saw this great girl from another college at a frat party.
I thought she was extremely cute and I really wanted to know her better.
We exchanged glances with each other all night, but she had to leave before I could make my move.
The next day, I got a note from her. One of our common friends hand delivered it to me. In the note, she mentioned that she really liked me and would like to meet me sometime.
I showed the note to my best friend, and he rubbished it immediately.
“She’s a whore, dude, she just wants to sleep around. And she doesn’t look good anyway… Forget about her, she’s just not worth it…” he said as he tore the note into bits.
I didn’t bother responding to the note, and forgot all about her.
A year later, I saw her again in another friend’s arm. She looked so stunning, I had a hard time holding my jaws shut. My friend introduced her and I found out later that he was her first boyfriend.
Apparently, she was a shy girl who never hung out with boys and was only interested in a serious relationship.
I felt like kicking myself in the head for being such a jerk and blowing her off after she worked her courage up to write me a letter.
But what I realized at the same time is how easily friends can manipulate you into walking away from perfect relationships.

Signs your friends are ruining your relationship
It may be jealousy, malice or a veiled attempt to be better than you, but sometimes even the best of friends can turn out to be real backstabbers, at least when it comes to love.
If you find yourself breaking up from seemingly perfect relationships all the time, perhaps, you need to ask yourself if your friends played a bigger part than you first imagined.
Here are 13 circumstances when your best friends could turn out to be your worst relationship nightmare.
#1 Your friends think your date’s not good enough.
Ever been here? You date someone you really like but your friends think your date’s obnoxious or ugly? At times like these, you may start wondering yourself if you’ve made the wrong choice. And once you start thinking, it’s easy to mentally turn even a perfect partner into an ugly hag.
#2 Friends who constantly want your attention. Do your friends constantly butt in when you’re hanging out with your new lover? To your friends, gate crashing your romantic date may seem like a laugh. But it can actually piss your new date off.
If your friends constantly whine about how much time you spend with your new squeeze, they’re just bored and annoyed that you’ve got something better to do. Real friends give you a choice. Bad friends only care about their own fun.
#3 Talking about past relationships. 
Past relationships are always sensitive. When you and your date are hanging out with your friends, do your friends constantly talk about your exes or about the way you used to behave around an ex just to have a laugh?

#4 Friends who want you to cheat.
Your friend may love one night stands, but they really shouldn’t be trying to convince you to do the same when you’re in a relationship. It’s easy to be manipulated by friends you trust, but sometimes you need to space yourself from these kinds of friends who don’t want your romantic relationships to evolve into something better.

#5 Friends who make you ignore your lover. 
When you’re out with your lover and your friends, do your friends constantly try to keep you occupied or try to split both of you into separate conversations?
Friends who make you ignore your lover by constantly trying to keep you engrossed in another conversation or take you to another part of the room are never good for your budding relationship.

#6 Friends who flirt with your lover.  
There are bad friends and then there are worse. Friends who flirt with your new date behind your back are the worst kind. If your friend tries to put you down, or calls up your lover and speaks for hours when you’re not around, there’s a good chance that your friend is looking for ways to break both of you up and enter the picture.

#7 They disrespect your partner. 
Do you feel like your friends ignore your new lover or treat them disrespectfully while hanging out together? If you feel it, chances are, it’s true. When your friends disrespect your date, it reflects badly on you as a lover.

#8 Your friends speak ill of you. 
 Do your friends treat you disrespectfully when you’re with your date? Your friends should help you impress your date and win a lover over, not make you look bad. If your friends put you down in front of your lover, they’re probably jealous or annoyed.

7 Secret Signs that Reveal a Bad Relationship

Are you really in a happy relationship that’s heading towards a happily ever after? Read these 7 secret signs of a bad relationship to know the truth.

Relationships can, at times, be far more complicated than it seems on the surface.
You could see a cute couple who are happy together and assume they’re going to be hitched for life.
And before you know it, the happy couple could break up and go their own ways?
Still water always runs deep.
What seems perfectly stable on the outside may not be so on the inside.
Sometimes, you may think you’re in a perfectly happy relationship when in truth, you may be heading towards a turbulent future with your lover.

Secret signs of a bad relationship
When you’re floating on the high of a happy relationship, it’s easy to overlook all the little nagging issues that crop up now and then.
But before long, it’s the little things that’ll create bigger problems as they snowball over time.
Don’t let infatuation and intense affection for each other blind either of you from building a successful relationship on constructive grounds.
Keep an eye out for the hints of a bad relationship that show up now and then, and fix them before it gets worse.

The 7 secret signs that reveal a bad romance in progress
Constant arguments, affairs or unhappiness may be the big signs of a bad relationship. But these big signs don’t just crop up out of nowhere. And it’s the secret signs, those subtle hints that can even seem funny at first, that make way for the bigger problems to seep in.
Read these subtle signs of a bad relationship, and if you do experience something in your own relationship, weed them out before it affects your relationship further.

#1 Eye rolling. 
Do you take your partner or their suggestions seriously? You may find yourself dumbly smiling at your lover or ignoring your partner when they’re trying to say something to you. And your partner may even laugh about it.
But the fact that you didn’t listen to your partner or assumed that you were superior to your partner in that aspect shows that you don’t take your partner seriously. To begin with, it may just be a one off incident. But if you find yourself rolling your eyes each time you hear something from the next room or repeating ‘whatever’ inside your head, ask yourself why you’re taking your partner so lightly?

#2 Dominance. 
Dominance and power play in a relationship can be confusing to read, especially if you’re being subtle about it. Do you feel like one of you has more power in the relationship? A happy relationship has to have an equal balance of power between the two lovers. If you feel like you’re being dominated or not given enough control of the relationship and its direction, speak about it with your partner.

#3 Loss of respect.
  Respect for each other is crucial in a relationship. If you don’t respect your lover, your lover would start to shy away from giving suggestions or even playing a part in the functioning of the relationship. And almost all the time, your partner will end up getting attracted to someone else who respects them and likes them for the person they are.

#4 Speaking ill of each other. 
Don’t insult each other just to get even or win an argument. And this is especially important when others are around. Don’t ridicule your partner, and definitely avoid saying anything demeaning to your partner when others are around. No matter how you say it, it’ll always be taken badly by your partner.


On the other hand, some people love talking about their partner’s inefficiencies to their friends, as if to expect solace and comfort. But by speaking ill of your partner to others, you’re only reassuring yourself that your partner is not good enough for you. How can a relationship last when all you’re trying to do is convince yourself that your lover is not good enough for you?
#5 Avoiding conflict and avoiding resolutions. Sometimes, it’s easier to overlook a few differences rather than pick a fight over it. But if something bothers you, don’t avoid talking about it with your partner.
If you find yourself grumbling to yourself about something, be it the dirty sink or the clothes lying around, but you still avoid talking about it to your partner, it’ll do more damage than good. The rage that accumulates inside you would start to distance you from your partner, and yet, your partner would have no idea about what’s bothering you. [Read: 7 steps to the happiest relationship you can have]
#6 Taking each other for granted. This is one of the most common signs of a bad relationship. All of us take our partners for granted. But there’s a thin line between feeling good about helping someone and feeling like an overworked mule. It’s very easy to unknowingly take your partner for granted. Learn to put yourself in your partner’s shoes and ask yourself how you’d feel. It’ll help you realize when you’re being overbearing and annoying. [Read: 25 relationship rules for successful love]
#7 Silence. Talk is cheap and silence is golden. True, almost in all cases, but not in a relationship. When you’re in love, communication helps open up both your minds and creates a better bond. Do both of you spend your evenings watching your favorite telly shows after work, and hardly talk about anything with each other? It may seem like a perfect way to relax after a tiring and long day.
But over times, this lack of communication will disconnect both of you from each other. And soon enough, both of you won’t have anything to share with each other because your minds and ideas are so far apart.

How to Heal a Broken Heart the Wicked Way

Here are five wicked things you should definitely do if you want to know how to heal a broken heart the wicked way. If you’re trying to fix a broken heart and want your revenge for all the hurt that’s been caused to you, say no more.

 

How to heal a broken heart the wicked way
Oh, you want to do this bad, don’t you? You’re humiliated and you’re pissed off, you’re sad and you’re depressed.
Heck, you’re so messed up, you really don’t know what you are anymore! And each time you see your old flame giggling or hugging another date, you may go mad over the fact that they actually overcame your love so fast.
On the other hand, you may hate them and yet find it hard to get over them, if your ex had been cheating on you.
At times like these, there are a few things you can do.
These pointers come straight from the little devil that’s hiding inside your head, and they are brutal. As long as you stay on guard and do this for the pleasure of hurting them, things will be just fine. Maybe even great!

How to heal a broken heart #1 GO REBOUND!
Most love experts are against a rebound relationship. They say that jumping into a new relationship as soon as one is over is the wrong way to find love. I’m not denying that either!
But you need some special attention for another potential to get back at your ex. If they can hook up with someone else, why can’t you? Go ahead and hook up with a sweetie and have fun. Show off your new ‘love-of-your-life’ to your ex and let them know that you really don’t give a damn about them.
Watch your ex-sweetie bristle with anger each time you wrap your hands around your new hottie, and believe me, it can feel so good! It can feel even better if it’s someone your ex lover hates.
But one word of caution, just don’t fall in love with your new mate. Use them to have fun, and don’t get too involved for your own good.

How to heal a broken heart #2 GET FLIRTY AROUND YOUR EX
Too clever to go for a rebound, or too scared that you may actually fall in love with the wrong person? Not to worry, skip that step.
Opt for wild flirting sessions with any new cutie that you meet, especially when your ex is around. Laugh and have fun, flirt like mad, and make sure your lost love sees all of this. This can give you a load of satisfaction and help heal the scar of your previous love faster than anything else.

Want to get really dirty in love? Then what better way than by seducing someone your former flame is terribly jealous of?!
Remember the cheer leader from high school that your girlfriend hates or that guy who’s got promoted instead of your boyfriend? Well, now’s your chance to make a move that will pay off in more ways than just sex. Just think, if your ex finds out you’ve been fishing in familiar waters, it will drive them to the point of hysteria. This can be quite gratifying.
But do make sure the word reaches your ex’s ears. If there is anything that hurts your ex’s ego, it’s you sleeping or getting physical with someone they’ve always been jealous of!

How to heal a broken heart #4 NO MORE SECRETS
Now let’s think, are you ever going to hook up again with someone who threw you in the dirt and stamped you all over? I think not. So what do we do about getting back?
Firstly, remember there’s no more sweet love between both of you. You hate your ex, so get back in ways that are way below the belt. She’s got hairy nipples? He’s got a prick smaller than your little finger? Then it’s time the world knows all about it!
Humans are sadistic creatures. If you want pleasure out of your miserable life, you can get that by making sure that your sweet ex feels worse than you do. That would definitely cheer you up. But do make sure you don’t have any physical abnormalities that are worse than your ex’s before you open your mouth. The idea might just backfire!
Guilt may set in after you realize how mean you’ve been or after you get over the break up, but hey, if you want revenge badly right now, you’ve got consequences to pay, in this case, a bad case of guilty conscience!

How to heal a broken heart #5 P-A-R-T-Y
Now this isn’t hard to understand, so go right ahead and party! Have fun with others when you’re ex is around, have a drink, and go crazy on the dance floor. Hook up with someone and dance with them.
Hang out with your pals, and spend more nights out having a blast. Make eye contact, flirt a lot, meet new people… do all the works, especially when your ex is around. This will definitely piss your ex off totally. Forget the fact that you’ve got a broken heart inside your chest. Hearts heal best when we’re not thinking too much about them!

Fixing a broken heart
If you want to overcome the pain, you need to do it one bit at a time, and replace the pain with happy thoughts that you collect every day, by meeting new people and doing new things.
Convince yourself that the break up was the best thing that had happened to you. Just don’t sit in a corner and mourn. Why give your ex an opportunity to show how weak you are without them? Have a laugh and have fun. Life is way too short to hide that smile off your face. You really don’t need an ex to tell you to be happy or sad in your own life, do you?

Is it Time to Break Up?

Identifying a bad mate is not easy. But as time passes, you’d be able to become a better judge. So is it time to break up? Read the hidden signs.

 

It’s never easy to recognize a wrong lover or realize if it is time to break up, especially if you’ve been in love for a while.
But if you’re in a relationship that’s causing you more pain and sleepless nights than love and happy hours, then perhaps it’s time you watch out for these silent signals that every bad lover gives away.
If you find yourself experiencing any of these signs here, it’s probably time to break up and move on.

The blind spot in love
Every time a guy and a girl get together, there’s always sparks of love, bursts of attraction and those starry-eyed moments.
And then there’s the “oooh, I’m so in love with you” times and a lot more.
In almost every relationship in the world, the start is almost always perfect.
For some, the sunny phase of infatuation could last a week, and for others, maybe even a year.
When people fall in love, they easily readjust their blind spot over the negative aspects of their new lover, until the passion of the initial phase starts to flicker.
The flicker of lost passion is gradual, and it’s hard to distinguish the difference when you’re in love.
And very soon, you may just learn to “accept” that all relationships lose the spark after a few months.
Or worse, you may even realize the fact that you’re not happy in the relationship, but you may be too afraid to walk out, because you’re still not sure if it’s time for you to break up.

Is it time to break up?
There’s something about love that all of us should remember, when your gut tries to tell you something, you have to follow it.
But if you’re not really sure if you’re stuck in a losing battle, here are a few tell tale signs that confirm the fact that it’s time to break up and walk on, without your lover by your side. See if these traits describe your relationship, and if they do, you’d be better off going your own separate ways.

In love with an ex
Talking about an ex once in a while may be a sign of your lover opening up to you. The conversation could also be mildly interesting. But a person who continuously talks about their ex has some serious issues to think about.
Now if they’re happy in love with you, why would your mate want to talk about an ex? On an occasional note, that’s not bad at all. But some people don’t understand that there’s a big difference in a passing comment and a three hour one-sided speech about an ex! One sure sign that your lover’s just using you for “love” is when they start speaking about their ex as if they were better than you, or if they start comparing you negatively.
If you’re trying to push yourself to try and be a better lover, just give that up and chuck your mate out in the dirt. Being unfairly compared on a regular basis is not something anyone in the world would want to put up with. After all, no one wants to be viewed or treated as second best, especially not with an ex!

Isolation rules
When a mate says they want to be with you all the time, of course, it makes you feel special. But as time passes by, you may find that you’re spending more time with this one person, and hardly any with your best friends or family.
A person who wants you to be around them all the time, even if you have better things to do, may just be jealous that you might have a better time with others and may want to go out again. Even if you’re having a boring time with your mate, if your mate keeps convincing you not to meet others, either by threatening you or by bad mouthing about them, then it’s time you let your mate know straight out, that your friends and family are just as important to you.
How can you expect to get settled down and be happy with a person who would love to see you in an isolation cell for the rest of your life just to feel more secure?

Abuse and threaten
Remember this, no matter how nice a partner is, if they’re abusive, verbally or physically, they’re not worth being with. Is it time to break up if an abusive streak shows up? Definitely.
Never look at that as “just one little bad habit”. You wouldn’t say the same thing the day your dinner gets poisoned or when your partner gives you a black eye, would you?
Do not be mistaken into thinking that you can change the person. Many abusers will not change however many times they fall into your lap crying and begging for forgiveness. If you threaten to leave but then receive a marriage proposal or an expensive gift, do not be fooled. A person who is willing to abuse you before marriage will not hesitate to do so after they have slipped the ring on your finger. At least if you leave now, you can avoid the trauma of an abusive marriage and a potentially nasty divorce.

Cheating mate
When you catch your lover cheating on you, you have two options. Take them back and risk going through it all over again or break off the relationship and start your life afresh.
Your partner may be sorry for what they have done and promise to remain faithful in future, but can you trust them again? The doubts may never go away if you stay with your partner. But if you think you can hold on and help grow the relationship, then give it a shot. But make sure you dump your cheating half immediately even if you sense a small sliver of a doubt after the first incident. Or your mate may end up cheating on you, again and again, until you’re the one who’s left messed up.

 Constant arguments
Do you find that both of you are constantly arguing and waiting to pick a fight? Your love may be on rocky shores and it may only be a matter of time before things get worse. The reason you are in a relationship is to find out if you are compatible with one another, possibly in preparation for marriage.
But if after a while, you find that you are not compatible and you argue all the time, then it may be time to break up and end the relationship. The person you thought was your soulmate may not be perfect after all, and this can be hard to accept.
It’s never easy to accept that you picked the wrong lover. But really, everyone makes mistakes, so don’t fret. Isn’t walking out a much better option than hanging on to the worst relationship you’ve ever had?

Control freak
Every now and then, when we fall in love, we come across control freaks. At first, all their quizzing sounds sweet and concerned, which makes you feel special. But as time passes by, you notice that their curiosity turns into a desperate bid to know every little detail about the things you do.
They sulk, abuse, or get frustrated when you don’t let them know what you’ve been up to for a couple of hours, and they would want to be around you all the time.
A person who wants to be around you all the time may just be insecure or may have had some issues in the past. Perhaps they were cheated and they’re worried it’ll happen again. But this sort of behavior would not change easily, so if you’re hoping your mate would just wake up one morning and stop pissing you off all the time, it’s never going to happen. This behavior will go on till the last day of your relationship unless your partner and you work on it.
It is never easy to distinguish the difference between a true lover and a selfish person who cares about nothing but themselves. But if you’re ever caught in a trap with a person who drains the happiness out of your life each and every single day when you’re together, ask yourself, isn’t it much better to just break up, even if it feels like it’s the hardest thing to do?
So if you ever find your mate exhibiting any of these breakup time signs, then give them a warning, or walk straight out if you can’t tolerate it anymore.