Everything You Need to Know About a Flirtationship

Google “flirtationship” and you’ll find definitions ranging from the hilarious to the heartbreaking. We’re here to clue you in on what it’s all about. 

 

A flirtationship is a relationship between two friends, where both people engage in flirtatious behavior without the promise of becoming anything more. This is very different from the Friend Zone and the Friends with Benefits. A flirtationship is situated somewhere in between those two.
A flirtationship is something that develops between two friends who are aware that they have an attraction for each other but cannot or choose not to pursue it because of extenuating circumstances. Though you may give hints or you may exchange sweet words, it’s never explicitly stated if there really is an attraction there.
What happens in a flirtationship?
One or two things happen in a flirtationship. Two people will start flirting with each other by doing thoughtful things for each other, giving each other pet names or talking to each other as if they were in an actual relationship.
They don’t kiss or have sex. The most intimate thing they can do is hug and hold hands. It’s not that it’s not allowed. It’s because doing anything physically intimate than those things can lead to various complications.

Why do people get into flirtationships?
It’s not something that most people set out to do. It usually happens because two friends decide that they like each other, but can’t be romantically involved because of different reasons. The reasons are usually as follows:

#1 They have a girlfriend/boyfriend. 
 Without discussing the moral implications of this one, this is usually the reason why most flirtationships can’t progress into a real relationship. People flirt with other people for the thrill or just to try something new. Other times, it is caused by dissatisfaction in the current relationship.

#2 The age difference. 
Legalities aside, a huge age difference can prevent two people from having a relationship. Their families might not agree to it and society also isn’t that forgiving. So, the best thing they can do to avoid any emotional backlash is to not get together at all. If they can’t fight the power, the best thing they can do is admire each other from afar and engage in a flirtationship.

#3 The ex.
It could be that their ex is crazy or maybe one of you has just broken up with your last partner. Either way, dating someone publicly with those factors in mind can seem inappropriate or downright improbable. A flirtationship will do for now, but this type can progress to something deeper if the ex is out of the picture.

#4 One of you isn’t ready.
  Whoever holds the reins on this decision is the one who decides whether it will remain a flirtationship or not. By not making any promises, they can still spend time with the person they like without having to commit to anything. The downside is they can’t do anything more than flirt with their “friend.”

#5 Distance.
  If two people can’t get together because they’re hundreds or thousands of miles away, what else can they do but Skype and text? A flirtationship usually develops, but nothing else can happen unless someone is willing to bridge that continental gap.

Why stay and not take it to the next level?
Sometimes, the people in a flirtationship can be brave enough to upgrade their situation. Other times, the circumstances mentioned above prove to be too difficult to overcome. When that happens, all they can do is engage in a harmless flirtationship that promises nothing more than a few smiley emoticons and a haphazard XOXO.
It could also be that neither one wants to do anything about it because they’re comfortable in the situation. Another reason could be that they don’t want to ruin their flirtationship by speaking up and potentially scaring their partner away. No matter what the reason, both people in a flirtationship should agree that they want to take whatever it is they have to the next level.
If they don’t, there are a lot of consequences for what they are doing. Someone could fall in love. Someone could get caught by their girlfriend or boyfriend. Most of the time, flirtationships end with someone’s heart broken.

How do you know if you are in a flirtationship?
It’s fairly obvious if you are indeed in a flirtationship. When the person you like is flirting with you and you’re flirting back, the flirtationship has begun. When this flirtation becomes stagnant because neither of you want to take it further, you can then confirm that it is definitely a flirtationship.
Most people don’t label it at all unless someone asks. Since this is reserved for people who don’t want to be in relationships, yet don’t want to sleep with each other either, there’s no other way to put it.

10 signs that you are in a flirtationship
How can you tell if you’re in a flirtationship or you’re just talking to someone who’s just super friendly with you? Let’s clarify your status with these signs.

#1 You send each other cute and adorable texts about how your day went.
You can also talk about other things, while still squeezing in a few harmless flirty texts and messages.

#2 You don’t pay for each other’s food or stuff, unless it’s someone’s birthday. 
Being in a flirtationship means that you are not eligible for the fringe benefits that an actual relationship provides. Unless you’re willing to put your heart on the table, you’re paying for your own dinner.

#3 You give each other a pet name. 
 It can be the generic “baby” or “babe,” but most people in flirtationships develop their own pet names that also double as an inside joke. This makes it more evident that you are still friends even while you’re flirting.

#4 You don’t kiss at all. 
You want to, but it’s “forbidden.” No one agreed to it, but no one is willing to throw away the fun you’re having by making it complicated with a kiss.

#5 You don’t sleep together.
If you do, you will then be considered as Friends with Benefits. It’s a tad more intimate than being in a flirtationship, but it also has worse repercussions like a potential unwanted pregnancy and a bigger emotional hang-up over each other.

#6 You never say “I Love You.” 
Why would you? If you do, you’re practically on the losing end if they don’t reciprocate. If they do feel the same way, then great! But you could potentially bring in the complications that go with an actual relationship.

#7 You don’t complain about the girlfriend/boyfriend.
This is one of the biggest disadvantages about agreeing to be in a flirtationship. You went in knowing that the person you’re flirting with has a significant other. If you do complain, your flirtationship partner might reject you for your complaints or find you presumptuous to think that you have a right to complain.

#8 You treat each other more like friends rather than a girlfriend or boyfriend. 
The flirting comes and goes, but flirtationships usually revolve around the two of you making it all about your friendship. No matter how much flirting you do, you never forget that you are, first and foremost, JUST friends.

#9 People don’t understand what’s going on. 
 They are aware that you two are in a flirtationship, but they usually don’t get why you won’t do anything about it or at least break it off. It’s even harder to explain because they have to be in your situation for them to see everything that happens in your pseudo-relationship.

#10 You can’t label it. 
You’re not together, but you’re not not-together. It’s complicated, you say. It just isn’t the right time, one of you says. No matter what the reason, it’s hard to explain to people what you are doing exactly. If necessary, you can at least relax knowing that someone invented a term for what you guys have: A Flirtationship.

11 Super Smooth Ways to Flirt with Someone Online

If face to face flirtation isn’t your forte, you can trust technology to have your back! Here are some ways to get your crush’s attention online.

 

You want to be subtle with the way you show your feelings, but at the same time, you also want to start dropping hints at how much you adore your crush. You already have them as your contact in social media, but you’re not quite sure how to approach them online without pushing them to block you for good.
The good news is that social media gives you some semblance of privacy. Thus, if your crush doesn’t reciprocate your feelings, the people around you won’t be the audience to your humiliation. And if the rejection stings like acid to a new wound, you can always choose to erase all your interactions and unfollow your crush.
How you can flirt online
Ready to get your crush swooning over your sweet messages and subtle hints? Try out these tips.

#1 Take note of what your crush was wearing or doing, without being obvious about it.  
When you see your crush, acknowledging their presence with a “hi” or a smile would suffice. But when you get the chance to go online, send them a message and comment on what they were doing when you saw them.
You can go for a compliment like, “Hey, I really like your band shirt. Where’d you get it?” You can also opt for the charmer’s route by saying, “I saw you down your coffee like it was water. Staying up for the exams?” These statements let your crush know that you were paying more attention to them than you initially let on.

#2 Check out what shows, movies and music your crush is into, and keep them updated. 
 A simple Google search can help you find out the latest news about your crush’s interests. For instance, if they’re into a certain band, you can mention that they’ll be playing at a local venue this week. If your crush is in love with a certain celebrity, send your crush a photo that they might have missed on their online stalking binges.
If your crush is into certain TV shows, however, make sure you’re not the jerk who suddenly spouts out a bunch of spoilers. People are very touchy about spoilers, and you can never be too careful!

#3 Be careful with the likes.
 Sure, you can creep your crush out and like everything they’ve posted since they got on Facebook. But the best route when it comes to the likes is picking only a few posts, so as not to flood their notifications feed.
Liking all the photos may make you seem utterly friendly or downright stalker-like, while liking only selective photos will make your crush wonder why there are photos that you like and there are photos that you didn’t like. It will keep your crush on their toes and make it seem like a guessing game.

#4 Don’t be afraid to leave a comment. 
 Do not comment on how good looking your crush is, but instead, comment on what they are doing. Pick up on the finer details of their photos and ask them something like, “Is that at Starbucks?” or “I have the same exact phone case!”
Comment something that will warrant a reply from them and not just a thank you. Interacting more with your crush is better than just simply worshipping them. You can even start a friendly little teasing fest there, as long as you’re aware of whether you’re going overboard.

#5 Leave an air of mystery to get your crush hooked. 
 If your crush messages you, curb the temptation to go on a reply rampage and take a deep, deliberate breath. You can seenzone them for a couple of minutes, and then think of an apt reply to send them. By doing this, you’re preventing yourself from looking too eager.
But don’t rely on the speed of your reply alone. Answer some of their questions vaguely. If they ask what you’re up to tonight, don’t give them detailed instructions to get to the bar you’ll be hanging out in! Instead, tell them that you’ll be out. Then wait for a reply. Then go in for the kill and hint that they’d be welcome to join you. Smooth!

#6 Tag away at your photos together! 
 Do not be shy to let the whole world know that you have spent time with your crush before. Let his friends and your friends know that you two go way back.
Even if these are new photos, tag them, and let everyone know that you two are spending time with each other. It’s not that you’re outright being possessive, as it’s just a photo. But it’s a subtle reminder to both, your crush and to the rest of the world, that the two of you are having fun together. Let the jealous be jealous!
#7 Make your crush the center of your status update.
  But for the love of all that is glorious, do not tag them! Instead, make it pretty obvious that you’re referring to something you and your crush talked about or something you did together.
For instance, you can post a quote that you and your crush discussed earlier. Or you can post a link to a site that completely proves that you were right about something you had a debate about. You can even post a YouTube video of a song that was playing when you were hanging out.
#8 Don’t be afraid of having opposite opinions. 
 Opposite opinions is fuel for more interesting conversations with your crush. For example, you might be totally into Game of Thrones, but your crush is pro-Lannister, whereas you are pro-Baratheon.
Point this out, and make a sensible, fact-filled argument as to why Baratheons are better than Lannisters. This is sure to lead to a friendly debate, and in the end, you can be the charmer who lets your crush win… Or you can casually suggest to agree to disagree.
#9 Be everywhere.
  And by everywhere, it means be in all of your crush’s social media profiles. Keep yourself updated of everything, and make sure that you alternate replying to your crush. If today you sent your crush an e-mail, tomorrow you should ensure that you tweet a reply. And then the next day like their photo on Instagram, and so on.
This keeps you on their mind, and practically embeds you into their subconscious. Just remember to message them sparingly, so as not to flood your crush with declarations of love and admiration.

#10 Be there, but not really. 
 Miss your crush on purpose. Yes, you read that right. When your crush checks into a place, show up at a time when you’re sure that they’ve already left. Then make a post that clearly shows you were at the same exact place your crush was.
This might get your crush to react and say that they missed you by a couple of hours, and you can say something like they should have texted you. If your crush doesn’t react, your common friends just might come to the conclusion that you were there together, and they might start teasing you both. It might just be the perfect push to make your crush think that you might be good for each other.

Hilariously Unique Ways to Ask Someone on a Date

Need to increase your success rate when you finally ask that special someone out? Here are some surefire ways to get them to say yes!

If you want to ask someone out, you need to consider what sort of ploy you will use to get that person to agree to go out with you. You can’t just surprise them with an over-the-top gesture, especially if you hardly know each other. That’s why we’ve categorized these tips according to how well you know the one you’ll be asking out and how much willpower you have to see it through.
Keep it casual
These methods are designed for asking out random strangers or acquaintances that hardly know you. They are pretty safe with little to no financial investment involved, but you do have to put yourself out there and develop enough confidence to pull these off smoothly.
#1 Use a witty pun, joke or statement, but make sure the seriousness of your question gets through.
Here are some of the best lines we found on the Interwebz:
- “Excuse me, but I’m really attracted to you, and according to Newton’s Law of Gravitation, you’re attracted to me too.”
- “You see my friend over there? He wants to know if you think I’m cute.”
- “If I were to ask you out on a date, would your answer be the same as the answer to this question?”
#2 Bet on something fun that you are SURE to win, and ask for a date as the prize.
 Notice how I emphasized the word “sure”? That means that you should not challenge the person you like to something that you are not an expert at. Remember to make a backup wager, in case you lose.
#3 Ask them to do something ordinary and joke about it being a date – then ask them out on a real date. 
 Tell the person that this feels like the best date ever, but would it be okay if they go out with you to an actual restaurant or [insert original yet tasteful date idea here].
#4 Use emojis.
Even a simple “girl emoji + boy emoji + coffee emoji = question mark” will do. It’s cute, so there’s a 90% chance it’ll go over well with the person you like.
#5 Give her a flower. 
 You want to hear something crazy? Guys don’t give flowers to girls they like anymore. They usually do it on special occasions or if they did something wrong. So, it’s not so crazy to think that giving someone a single flower before you ask them out is now considered out of the ordinary.
Up the ante
This means that you may need to go public with your affections. A word of warning for you eager beavers out there: Make sure that you know the person well enough to do this or you have had at least several encounters and know each other’s name. Sometimes, asking out random strangers using these methods can go awry and end with the phrase, “Do I know you?”
#1 Make a Snapchat story, Vine or a Flipagram.
Take lots of visual puns and make sure you look cute in all your photos and videos. The crazier it is, the better. And remember, try not to do anything illegal.
#2 Do something out of a popular romcom or their favorite movie.
 Either do your research or find out what’s new and popular out there. Maybe check out what shows or movies the object of your affections is into, and get some inspiration from there.
#3 Use food.  
It’s pretty easy to use food to ask someone out. You can get creative, and most sellers give you customized treats for this sort of thing.
#4 Highlight words out of a book you think they’d like.
 It’s a book. How hard would it be to find the words “would”, “you”, “like”, “to”, “go”, “out”, “with” and “me?” Bonus points because this idea isn’t even viral yet.
#5 Ask a barista to write a message on their coffee cup. 
 Or better yet, ask the barista to yell the phrase out for you. It’s pretty brave *or cowardly, whichever way you look at it* and you’ll get an immediate answer. So will the entire coffee shop.

Go hard or go home
Now, these types of gestures are specifically designed to ask someone you’ve known for a long time. You can take a risk, and use these to ask a crush who doesn’t know anything about you, but you should make sure that you are fully invested in this endeavor. You can’t use these to ask someone you don’t even like that much – that’s just a waste of time, money and effort.
#1 Make it big and expensive. Or purchase something that has a killer installment plan.
 Aerial advertising, billboards, jewelry – there are so many options to choose from, especially if you have a credit card.
 A hundred post-it notes, two hundred bags of gummy bears, three hundred sacks of potpourri? We’re *sort of* kidding. It’s best to use something themed and funny when using props to ask someone out. Step into Wal-Mart and let the aisles inspire you.
#3 Invest some time and effort in a scavenger hunt.  
There are numerous variations of scavenger hunts you can copy off of the Internet, but we suggest that you use items and locations fit for the person you like. Make sure the notes are cute, that there are moderately expensive gifts involved, and that you are the prize at the end of the hunt.
#4 Ask your friends to pitch in.
 Something about having all your friends involved makes the gesture more sincere. Ask your friends to help you make a video or have them wear funny costumes when you’re asking the person you like out.
#5 Ask random strangers with good hearts to pitch in.
 These are the stuff viral YouTube videos are made of. Try these and see if you get your pride’s worth:
- Ask strangers to hold out signs leading her to you, with the signs cumulatively saying, “Will you go out with me?”
- Ask them to sing the bridge of a love song with you as you step into your crush’s periphery. The bridge is always the best part!
- Ask the strangers to cheer you on and mildly pressure your lady love to say, “Yes” when you ask her out in front of them.
We can’t guarantee that these will all work for you and the person you like, but we’re pretty sure that the sentiment itself will get you extra points. Who cares what other people think?

 

 

Awful Dating Habits that Are Keeping You Single

Are you single and hating it? Do you wonder why and how some people find love so easily, whereas it’s taking you forever to find your soulmate?

 

We have all walked past mismatched couples in the street and thought, “How the hell did she score a guy like that?” or thought nasty thoughts like, “She’s with him because he’s loaded.” Don’t even bother denying it. That’s what humans do best. We question, we complain, we compare.
We have all been in loveless slumps. This is when everyone around us seems to be bursting with joy in their relationships, and we end up sitting at home all alone, raking our brains and trying to figure out why we’re single. You may think that you’re absolutely divine, but what you think you’re projecting to the world and what you are actually projecting may be two different things.
This could explain why you’re still single. More often than not, your single status has to do with your attitude, not so much what you look like or what you do for a living. Too many people focus on the materialistic stuff and not what really counts, so when it’s time for them to go on the prowl for a potential mate, they fail miserably, and come home empty-handed.
People are wiser and less naïve than they were back then. The fact that people are dating more before settling down gives them the chance to sample what’s out there. This builds experience, and this is how your potential partner can smell bullshit, or desperation, or really low self-esteem, or a bad attitude from a mile away. No matter how many layers of nice clothes you wear or how fancy your car is, you can still be single if you don’t get rid of some bad habits.
What are you doing to keep yourself single?
Here are 10 things you may be doing to sabotage your odds of finding true love in the dating world.

#1 You think you’re not good enough.
 If you have been single for a while, there’s a very good chance that you have this awful habit of telling yourself that you’re not good enough for that cute barista, for that hot accountant at work, for the gym instructor with the abs of steel, or for anyone else, for that matter. If you think you’re not good enough, then every potential partner who comes your way will think that you’re not good enough, too.
Confidence is key when trying to score a mate, so be sure to exude it from every pore. It doesn’t matter if you’re not the sexiest, if you’re not the funniest, if you’re not the smartest, or if you’re not the best-looking person in the room. All that counts is how confident you are about how you look and feel. It will shine through, and you will be the flame that all the moths are drawn to.

#2 You think you don’t deserve a relationship.
 You’ll be surprised at how superstitious some people can be. I have a friend who blames karma for being single. She thinks she doesn’t deserve a good relationship because she treated her last boyfriend like dirt. Hence, the universe is retaliating by keeping her single as punishment.
I’ve never heard so much horse crap in my life, and I straight up told her so. Of course she got offended, but hopefully, that snapped her out of her silly mindset.

#3 You think you’re not ready.
 You need to stop telling yourself that you’re not ready for a relationship. By constantly telling yourself that, you’re just messing with your mind and turning that nonsensical thought into reality. I will be the first to admit that digging yourself out of the darkness after a hard breakup is very difficult. However, you must relearn how to put yourself out there, and leave the past behind.
Heartbreak sucks, but you cannot let it hold you back from finding someone new. If you keep clinging on to the past, you will never experience a brand new future.

#4 You’re obsessed with timing. 
 I personally think that people who use “timing” as an excuse for not getting into a relationship are kidding themselves. There’s no such thing as “the right time.” There are some exceptions, of course, and they include still being married, being bankrupt, or dealing with mental issues. Anything other than those signifies cowardice.
Life is short, and you don’t know if you’ll even have tomorrow to play with. It’s all about ups and downs, and there will never be a time when everything is absolutely perfect. If perfection is what you’re waiting for, then you’ll be single forever. Stop hesitating when it comes to matters of the heart because if you don’t jump in, you’ll never know just how great it could be.

#5 You’re a gossip monger.
As the saying goes, “What Susie says of Sally says more of Susie than of Sally.” No one wants to date someone with a big mouth and bad attitude, so be sure to vanquish that habit today. Keep your life and the lives of those around you drama-free, and you’ll find that potential partners will be more eager to date you.

#6 You’re too picky.
Stop finding fault with everything and everyone. Being a high maintenance diva is not a good look on you or on anyone else, for that matter. If you’re picky, you’re going to drive some real gems away. Finding fault in everything and everyone will only work against you. For example, if you complain about how he dresses or what she does for a living, you can rest assured that you’ll be single for a long time. No one will be good enough for you if you don’t let the little things go.

#7 You have impossible expectations. 
 Sure, everyone wants to date a Ryan Gosling or Cara Delevigne, but that’s not going to happen. Snap back to reality, and stop envisioning the impossible. So what if he’s a little soft around the edges? He has a good heart, and he will always be kind to you. So what if she talks too loudly in restaurants? She’s funny and makes you laugh.
There’s nothing wrong with setting standards for yourself, but you need to seriously keep your expectations realistic if you don’t want to be single for the rest of your days.

#8 You don’t know what you want.  
Life is for the living, and there’s no point in wasting it by blindly making your way through life. Set clear goals for yourself, and figure out what you want. Do you want to be with someone who wants to live a nomadic life of travel and adventure? Do you want to settle down with someone who wants a family? Are you keen on dating someone who’s fine with an open relationship? Do you only want a “fun buddy?” Sort out what you want, and the rest will come easy.

#9 You’re unhappy with yourself.  
If you’re unhappy with yourself, you have to realize that it is obvious to those around you, including potential lovers. It shows in the way you act, talk, and walk. Who do you think potential dates are going to flock to at a party: the one sitting with hunched shoulders in the corner or the one smiling and dancing on the dance floor?
Unless you can learn to love yourself and be confident with who you are, you will never be able to fully love another. Potential partners can sense that, and trust me when I say that no one wants the drama of having to deal with your emotional baggage.

#10 You reek of desperation.  
It’s obvious in the way you interact with potential partners, and you can be sure that desperation stinks way more than sour milk. Reign your desperation in, and act like you could have the pick of anyone in the room. If you truly believe that, then everyone else will too, and you’ll find it much simpler to score a date.

14 Common Reasons Why Relationships Fail Often

Why does love fall apart for the silliest of reasons? Read these 14 common reasons why relationships fail, and learn to fix them before it’s too late.

 

Relationships fail often.
It’s a fact of life.
You’d be hard-pressed to find two people who were each other’s first love and they loved each other until death.
That’s the stuff you find in many viral news stories.
And the reason these stories of perfect couples become so popular is because it’s what so many people aspire to be.
The problem, though, is that some people learn that their relationships are headed for failure, and they learn it the hard way.
So if you’re aiming for a relationship that’s practically fail-proof, you’d have to know some of the reasons why so many relationships end badly.

14 common reasons why relationships fail so often
Take note that the failure of a relationship can be attributed to one or a combination of the following factors.
So if you find that your relationship is facing these problems, it may be best to try and work it out so it doesn’t ruin the hard work you’ve put into your relationship.


#1 Relying on your partner for your happiness.
 This is common among people who have either low self-esteem or have very few good things going on in their life. The problem with this is that it may put too much pressure on your partner. How? It will always feel like your partner has such a huge role in your life, and that without him/her, you’d be a miserable heap of tears. This kind of dependence is not healthy in any kind of relationship!

#2 Not standing up for yourself. 
 There may be times when you forego your own desires so you can make your partner happy. This is called a sacrifice.
But if you keep doing this and your partner learns that they can easily ignore your wants, you’ll start to feel your sacrifice taking its toll on you. One day, you might wake up and feel so used that you end up snapping and breaking up with your partner. 

#3 Too much dominance. 
 This is the opposite of sacrificing too much. Instead, you expect your partner to be at your beck and call, or else, they will be sorry! Instead of fostering a relationship based on love and trust, you’re instilling fear into your partner.
What this does is force your partner to be miserable and helpless or it can lead them to lie, sneak around or even find someone else’s shoulder or bed just to avoid your wrath and their misery.
#4 There’s too much jealousy going on.
 If you’re the one who’s jealous, you’re probably always going to be snooping around to check if your partner is faithful to you. Just one instance of you seeing them chatting with someone whom you consider a threat, and you’ll unleash a barrage of accusations.
On the other hand, if your partner is the jealous one, you may find yourself sacrificing your happiness just so you don’t get hit with the barrage of accusations.

#5 Selfishness.
Selfishness in both of you will lead to a tug-of-war for who gets the final say in things. You can’t always get what you want, and neither can your partner. If neither of you are willing to compromise to make your relationship work, then you can both find someone who’ll be more accommodating to your every want and need. Good luck with that!

#6 Nitpicking each other’s faults.
Honesty matters in a relationship. But being too blunt about your partner’s faults all the time may make them feel they’re always under your constant scrutiny. Not only will you slowly pick at their self-esteem, but you might also push them towards the arms of someone who’s much more accepting of their faults.
#7 Lack of time. Even if you both have a busy lifestyle, you still need to set aside time for each other just to keep the relationship going. A five-minute phone call or a text exchange may be enough to let you work through a time when you’re too busy for anything.
If you don’t spare even a few minutes for your partner, neglect starts and that will definitely eat away at your relationship.

#8 Lack of effort.
 So maybe you have tons of time to spend with each other, it should be no problem, right? Wrong. In fact, if you have lots of time, but very little quality time, this can lead both of you to take each other’s presence for granted. The effort here is to make each date together count through little sweet gestures or bringing something new to the conversation, whatever both of you are into.
Exerting a little something extra from time to time shows your partner that you would still go the extra mile, no matter how long you’ve been dating. In not doing this, you’ll slowly make your relationship more mundane until you just give up.

#9 Physical distance.
 There’s nothing wrong with having a long distance relationship. In fact, some relationships are tested and made stronger by the physical distance. However, the distance can bring about problems such as a lack of time for each other or lack of physical intimacy.
Unless you make an effort so you can finally be in the same zip code, these relationships usually break under the strain.

#10 Emotional distance. When you’re emotionally incompatible *i.e., one of you is more open while the other is withdrawn*, this can lead to a lot of unmet emotional needs. While two people are never 100% on the same page, it’s important to at least be on a somewhat similar level of emotional availability.
If one of you is aloof and the other is needy, then this imbalance can cause friction and resentment in the one who’s exerting more effort to feel more loved in return.
#11 Little lies that build up. 
 A couple of white lies at the start of your relationship can be common. Of course, you want to put your best foot forward. But it’s also important to eventually come clean or at least try to prevent the lies in the first place.
When these lies build up, it might spiral into a web of lies that you can no longer get out of. It’ll be a huge form of deception, even if it all just started from one little white lie.

#12 Different goals.
 When you get deeper into a relationship, you may find out that you and your partner may have different goals for the future. One of you may want to focus on your career, while the other would like to start a family soon. This can lead to conflict when it comes to making big decisions in your life. If left without compromise, the rift in your desires may end up causing a rift between the two of you.

#13 Emotional baggage.
 It goes without saying that baggage will always affect your relationship. Unless you learn to deal with it in a healthy way, it will manifest itself in your relationship from time to time. In addition to this, the fact that your partner can’t help you deal with your baggage can lead them to see their own inadequacy, and may then affect how they acts towards you.
#14 Lack of positive support from friends or family.  
You’re not in a relationship with your partner’s friends and family. But they are somewhat responsible for who your partner is. Whenever you have a fight, it’s easy for either of you to run to your respective loved ones *friends and family* to bitch about what happened.
However, if they’re not supportive of your relationship, they can end up giving love advice that ends with “just break up!” And you, in your state of vulnerability, might end up agreeing with them.

You may notice that big issues like infidelity and abuse have been left out of the reasons. This is because those reasons are a fairly obvious cause for a failed relationship.
The common reasons mentioned here are the little reasons that many may not notice up until it becomes unbearable. But they can build up and cause conflicts that will cause your entire relationship to unravel, even before either of you notice it!

Reasons Why You Shouldn’t Give Your Ex Another Chance

Should you? Shouldn’t you? Confused over whether you should give your ex another chance? Give these 10 reasons a thought, and you’ll know for sure!

 

Should you really get back with your ex when they try to weasel their way back into your life?
Simply put, probably not.
But then again, not every failed relationship can be categorized into a bad break up, just because circumstances forced the romance to end.
There are a number of reasons why you and your ex broke up in the first place.
Whether it be differing life goals, incompatible sex lives, or an unwillingness to meet each other’s needs and wants, there was something that came in between the two of you as a couple.

Should you give your ex another chance?
As much as some people want to ignore that plain truth, and try again, the best idea is to leave the past where it belongs, behind you.
Instead, you should take what you can from the experience and move on.
Here are 10 reasons why you should most likely not give your ex another chance. If your ex can convince you otherwise, or if you truly believe things have changed for the better *the odds are always very, very slim*, perhaps you could give them another chance.
But remember, when you get back with an ex, as good as it may feel, there’s a bigger chance that another heartbreak’s just around the corner all over again.

#1 Your ex probably hasn’t changed.
 People can be amazing talkers. But saying something, and actually doing it, are two completely different things. So if you’re hearing a lot of talk from your ex about how much they have changed, look for the proof.
Actions speak louder than words. So if your ex is expressing to you, for example, how trustworthy they have become, pay attention to how they behave when they explain themselves to you. Is their behavior and attitude trustworthy? Or, are they screening messages, and skipping around lofty details about what they’ve been up to recently?
Bottom line, if what your ex is doing isn’t lining up with what they are saying, they probably haven’t changed. If this is the case, then you most likely shouldn’t give them another chance. They obviously haven’t changed very much since your initial break up.

#2 There’s a good chance you are headed for the same problems.  
This is closely related to the earlier pointer. There’s a good chance that if your ex hasn’t changed, you are going to run into the same problems all over again.
Similar patterns are bound to reoccur if you have one individual coming into the partnership as the same person that left it. If you ex didn’t learn anything from your last relationship together, and didn’t take the time to grow as a person, and a partner, odds are you are going to have some of the same issues as the last time around.
Say, for instance, in your first relationship with each other your ex was constantly complaining about their unfortunate job situation, and refused to do anything about it. If your ex has the same job, or still refuses to actively change their future, you are going to encounter the same frustrations.
If your ex hasn’t progressed as an individual, and especially if you have, you are bound to run into similar problems in your relationship if you try again. It’s better not to relive past irritations by giving your ex another chance.

#3 Your friends might abandon you.  
This is especially dependent on the number of chances you have given your ex already. Remember that your friends often are the ones hearing all of the horrible things about your ex during, and after, your relationship.
You friends will most likely try and talk you out of giving your ex another chance, especially if they realize that your ex doesn’t deserve you. If you ignore their honest advice and go ahead and take back your ex, your friends are going to be upset.
It’s only in extreme cases that your friends may actually abandon you. More often, abandonment happens when you are giving your ex a fourth or fifth chance to show you that “things will be different”. You should trust your friends’ judgments, they know you and have stayed with you through your relationships and know what is okay and what is not.

#4 You will have to explain to your family why your ex is back in the picture. 
 This can be particularly awkward if you had a rather nasty break-up and/or your family was fairly close to your ex. They will likely know the reasons why you broke up in the first place, and probably hold a grudge against your ex.
Of course, because you are their family, you could really do no wrong. So, even if your break-up was mutual, or you were equally to blame, your family won’t see it that way.
If you give your ex another chance, your ex will ultimately have a lot of making up to do, and if your family doesn’t accept it, your relationship is going to be difficult for a whole different set of reasons.

And if your ex truly deserves a second chance, your family and friends will see this and support you. But, they might still give you a hard time at first.

#5 They have new, and more disgusting and annoying habits.
 When we love someone, we tend to let them off the hook for their nasty and irritating habits that otherwise would make us silently heave *carrying around a nail clipper as a key chain, or constantly forgetting to flush the toilet*. I don’t know what weird habits your exes have, but I’m sure they are many.
Well, these little habits could have gotten worse, or weirder with time. Or perhaps, you never noticed them in your first relationship, and now you find yourself being introduced to a number of shocking and appalling behaviors you would rather live without.

#6 Your relationship might get too comfortable, too soon. Getting comfortable too soon can relate to the particular habits discussed in #5 being revealed far too early, or a number of different things. As you’ve dated your ex before, they might automatically assume that means that you pick up the relationship where you left off.
Dirty laundry on the floor, dishes in the sink, or non-existent date nights all over again. Whatever it may be that angered you in the first relationship could start happening much sooner the second *or third, etc.* time both of you get back together.
If you do give your ex another chance, you might want to make it clear from the start that you are going to need a clean slate, and that means that you will have to take the time to get to know each other again in terms of your new relationship. If you’re honest in the beginning that things need to change, then hopefully your ex won’t get too comfortable too soon!

#7 Your ex might have new baggage.
  This can be a major reason to think twice about giving your ex another chance. Depending on how long it’s been since the two of you have broken up, or how well you’ve kept in touch, your ex might have acquired a whole new set of baggage while you were apart.
New baggage can come in many forms such as a loss, depression, a change in career *or no career at all*, family issues, physical health problems, or another relationship.
And if your ex has been dating someone else since your last breakup, there could very well be a new ex in the picture. And it’s not easy to date your ex if they’ve just come out of a relationship with their own ex, especially if their ex is persistent to stay in your ex’s life!
If it was a serious relationship, you might find that your ex is thinking of them often, instead of focusing on building your new relationship. How far you want to get into dealing with this new baggage depends on your commitment to your ex, and your new relationship together.

#8 They still aren’t willing to meet your needs and wants.
If you ex isn’t willing to meet your needs and wants, or to comprise, so that each of you is content and happy in your relationship, you should not think of giving them another chance. Identifying and living up to your partner’s basic needs and wants is a crucial part in any healthy relationship.
Your ex probably wasn’t meeting your needs and wants in your first relationship, or else, you wouldn’t have broken up. So this time around, you must make it very clear what you expect from your ex. And they should be willing to deliver.

#9 The sex is just different.
 If you’ve been apart a long time, experimenting and growing sexually in the meantime, perhaps the sex with your ex is just not going to hit that spot. If you’ve grown as an individual, not just emotionally but sexually too, you might have troubles adjusting your sex life with your ex.
If you are going to try again, you definitely need to be honest with your ex if the sex is not working for you. If you don’t feel like you can be honest, and you need to change it up as a couple, then you’re definitely not ready to be together again.
#10 You still want very different things. 
 If your life goals and dreams do not line up with your ex’s aspirations, you will most likely run into problems if you decide to give them another chance. When you are sharing your life with someone, you need to be on the same page, or at least the same book.
In order to fully support each other, both of you need to understand each other’s goals and dreams and help each other achieve them. If your ex isn’t supportive of your life goals, whether they be career, family or personal, you should not give your ex another chance.

Definitely think twice before giving your ex another chance
There are many reasons why you probably shouldn’t take your ex back. Your relationship ended because something wasn’t right, and the probability of that changing is often slim because most people are unwilling to change.
So, unless that reason you broke up with your ex was due to an unmistakable stroke of bad luck related to time and place, then no, you should not give your ex another chance.

If you’re hoping that a few changes, and a lot of compromises, can fix things to the way it once was, stop it. You are only prolonging what will eventually happen – a final break-up.
Once you leave behind the past relationship that was hurting you, or holding you back, you will be able to move forward to better things, which will be fulfilling and full of happiness.

The Step-by-Step Guide to Get Your Ex to Love You Again

Though they say that getting back with your ex is a bad idea, there are still instances when you just can’t let them go, no matter how hard you try.

 

As a word of warning to all our readers, looking to get back together with your ex needs a lot of careful consideration. After all, there is a reason you broke up in the first place. However, there’s no denying the attraction for someone you’ve once loved and may still love.
Do you miss how your ex would always make you laugh? Do you miss the warmth of your ex’s embrace? Do you long for those hours you spent talking about sweet nothings? Do your friends and family ever seem to wistfully ask why it never worked out between you two? Do you honestly believe, with all your heart, that getting back together with your ex is a perfectly sane and reasonable thing to do?

How to get your ex back
If you’ve answered “yes” to all the questions above, here’s how you can try to get back into your ex’s loving arms. Once you’ve made up your mind to try and give it another shot with a past love, you can follow these steps to ensure that you do it right.

#1 Start off with an apology.  
This would only apply if the wound of your breakup is still pretty recent. Breakups are a two-way thing. Even if it was caused by your ex, there’s still a possibility that you let go of words that you wish you could take back. To ease you back into your ex’s good graces, it’s always a good idea to apologize for the things you may have said and done to contribute to the demise of your relationship.
Be as sincere as you can be, and if possible, try to do this in person. The fact that your ex seems interested in talking to you may be a sign that there’s a possibility that they will take you back. Who knows, you might even reconcile right then and there!

#2 If the breakup isn’t recent, send your ex a text or a private message.
 Calling or just showing up at your ex’s place may be too forward and too confrontational. It might make your ex completely defensive and just shoot you down. Instead, it’s better if you send a message, just to give your ex some time to think of whether to reply or not.
If your ex replies amicably enough, then great! If not, don’t take it too personally. Your ex might be suspicious of your message. Try to send another message at another time, and keep your fingers crossed that you’ll get a response. If after about three messages spanning over the course of a week or two you still get no response, there’s a huge chance that getting back together is out of the question.

#3 Ask your ex out over the phone.
Once you get to messaging each other on a more or less regular basis, give your ex a call. It’s up to you if you want your ex to hear just how smitten you still are with hearing their voice. After the preliminary chitchat, ask your ex to hang out with you, even if it’s just as friends.
Yes, it may be deceptive to tell your ex that it’s just as friends, but immediately confessing that you’re still attracted to them might take your ex by surprise. The key here is going through the motions slowly, but surely. Also, make sure that the date has a very casual feel to it. Avoid any romantic settings. If possible, have the “friendly date” in a coffee shop or a restaurant during daylight hours.
 

#4 Reconnect with your ex’s friends.
Once you’re back to hanging out with each other, it may also be a good idea to get back in touch with your ex’s friends and family. Don’t act like your breakup never happened. Instead, act like someone who has been away for a while, but would just like to catch up. Keep your cool, and don’t act all possessive.
One of the key ways you can try to get back with your ex is by getting to their friends. Your ex may be persuaded by a friend who seems to think that you’ve changed for the better or that a second try might do you both good.

#5 Reminisce about the good times.
When you’re on your third date, or maybe even on your first, if you want to take it fast, you might want to bring up your old relationship. The way your ex responds to this prompt depends on how your relationship was. Their reaction actually clues you in on your chances of getting back together.
If they recall the good old days, they might still see you as someone they can fall back in love with. On the other hand, if your ex seems to see your relationship as a waste of time or a very trying phase in their life, then you need to work on convincing your ex that it won’t be like that the second time around.

#6 Show your ex how much you’ve changed. If you’re still the same person whom your ex decided to leave, then asking for them to take you back is like asking them to go through the pointless motions all over again. You can do this by highlighting some of the things that you’ve changed for the better.
For instance, you may show signs that you’re now more sensitive to their feelings by showing empathy. You may tell your ex that you’ve decided to join a program for controlling bad habits like smoking, drinking, gambling or even anger issues. You can also talk about how you’ve decided to pursue a career. This can then make your ex consider that giving you a second chance might not be such a bad idea. [Read: How to recreate your sexual chemistry with your ex]
#7 Try to woo your ex again. Even if you show your ex that you’ve changed for the better, you also have to show that the parts your ex likes are still there. Look back at how you were able to catch your ex’s attention and use this to attract them a second time.
You may have met during a music event, and you can go to another one to relive the memories. Your ex may have fallen for your great taste in movies and literature, and you can regale them with stories of what you’ve seen and read. Maybe your ex fell in love with your carefree, devil may care attitude. You can show that side of you by going out on a spontaneous trip, but still keeping your responsibilities in mind.

#8 Emphasize why you want to get back together. 
 Throughout all these fun dates and subtly romantic hints, your ex might still not understand why you’re trying to win them back. It’s clear that you’re not just after a tumble in bed, but you have to make it clear that your intentions include getting back together.
This is ultimately all up to you and your own personal reasons. But one of the most effective things you might say is the fact that life just isn’t the same without your ex’s presence. You can explain how different it was and how much better it could be, if you were to reconcile.
Another reason you can state is that you’ve never been able to find anyone else who makes you feel the way your ex feels. Of course, you’ll have to own up to the fact that you have been dating other people. But you’re both adults and your ex is bound to understand.

#9 He or she is the one.
One of the many reasons people break up is because of commitment issues. Your ex may have left because they didn’t think you’d commit completely. You can change their mind by actually proposing marriage. And yes, even women can do this, but it takes a woman with a lot of guts to pull this off.
But before you start planning a huge proposal, you have to consider the odds that your ex may or may not accept it. Don’t use your proposal to pressure your ex, as this may just lead to you getting disappointed.